Valentine's Day in March

I read this GEM of a blog today, and regardless of whether or not it is Valentines Day, I needed to share this with people who haven't read it in the blogosphere. I have no idea who wrote it...as it was an anonymous post, but BRAVO, anonymous. BRAVO.

FEBRUARY 14, 2011
"When I woke up this morning, I made a decision: I am not going to be the sad, bitter single girl today. So I got up and began to get dressed for church.

I started with a red ensemble with a heart necklace. Then I thought, "Nah, looks like you're trying too hard to be into Valentine's Day when everyone knows you can't like it that much when you're single."

So I put on all black. Then I thought, "Nah, looks like you're the bitter, single girl trying not to be into Valentine's Day. Let's not be Her."

So I added a pink necklace. Then I thought, "Perfect. This says, 'I sort of hate Valentine's Day, but not really cause I still get to eat sugar.' "

Dressed, I headed to church. I soon realized I wasn't wearing my contacts, but I wasn't going to be deterred from my happy day, so I put on some pop music and continued, whether or not I couldn't read the road signs.

As it turned out, the Austin Marathon was blocking my exit onto MoPac. For several minutes I remained stuck in detour traffic alongside the Marathoners. They looked miserable, so I thought, "I'll encourage them!" Naturally, I rolled down my window, turned on "Go For It" from the pill-popping episode of Saved By the Bell, and yelled "You can do it!" at the passers-by.

No one looked at me.

Oh well.

So now, kind of hurt and realizing that my detour had ended, leaving me nowhere helpful, I began actively searching for a way onto MoPac by driving through residential streets. After 10 minutes, I found the next MoPac exit also blocked by Marathoners. Incredibly frustrated, I rolled down my window and asked the police officer how to get onto MoPac.

His response? "I don't know." My response? "Ok. Thanks." My non-verbal response? "Die. I hate you."

At this point, after very purposely rolling up my window, I began yelling expletives that normally only come out of my mouth when I don't want to censor myself while singing along to certain songs from Rent and Spring Awakening. And "Forgot About Dre."

I thought about giving up and going home, but then I thought, "NO! If you go home, THEY win. Do NOT let them win!" So I kept driving and searching. After a second police officer at another location told me he didn't know how I could get on MoPac, I started crying. He felt awkward, which made me feel good.

As I continued driving, I wanted to roll down my windows and blast, "I Hate Everything About You" by Ugly Kid Joe at the Marathoners. I didn't. I'd like to say it was because I knew that that would not be glorifying to the Lord. My restraint, however, was more probably due to the fact that I didn't think they'd understand the lyrics, which would just further frustrate me.

I cried and cussed for another 10 minutes or so until I finally found a way onto MoPac. I was going to be at least 30 minutes late to church, but I was still going to be there, so I realized that I needed stop cursing and channel my anger into something less destructive, ya know, in order to prepare my heart for worship.

Solution! Yes, this was it. Celine Dion screams without cussing, so if I scream-sing along with her, I can vent my anger without further blackening my soul.

Ipod> artist> Celine Dion> shuffle songs.

This was working. Yes, this would do.

About a minute in, I realized: I am crying and shouting the words to, "All By Myself." On Valentine's Day.

I wasn't going to be that girl, but I got tricked.

Congratulations, Universe. You win"



Side note: I am about halfway through my own latest blog entry which is taking me much longer than anticipated to get my scrambled thoughts into words and on paper (computer screen). I will update ASAP but I cannot promise a date seeing that my littlest sister is spending the week with me and I plan on devoting every ounce of my attention on her. Happy Monday!