Letters

Dear Pandora, thanks for getting me through my days with your awesome playlists. Thanks for not charging me to listen to your music and for apologizing if you play a song that I do not like. You are polite and you play the best music. I really appreciate you today.

Dear Brittney, I might have never been so excited to see someone in my whole entire life, and I can’t wait for you to get here in 4 days. I can’t wait to laugh until we cry and snowboard and play like you never ever have to go back to Texas. You are my best friend and everyone in Colorado basically has been notified of your arrival. It’s like you are famous. Please be practicing your facial expressions of excitement, and plan on me crying when you leave. Also bring your new affirmative attitude with you. And most importantly, PLEASE HURRY UP AND GET HERE.

Dear OZ Architecture, I respect you. I respect that you gave me an awesome job that I don’t hate and that you are flexible with me about the 9AM starting time. I really appreciate your generosity to me, seeing that all I did to find you was google search “largest architecture firm in Colorado” and showed up at your front door wearing my brown UGGs. And yet you still welcomed me with open arms and you pay me to come. Thanks again.

Dear Blair, please don’t move away.

Dear Megan, give up school for lent. It starts today. And call me. Also remember that time that I sent you a text that said: “I will be on my knees even if it has to be in the bathroom stall.” And was talking about prayer? Pure at heart I tell you.

Dear Starbucks, thanks for making awesome chai tea lattes, but I think you are a real wench for charging so much for the delicious goodness. Also I am really concerned about our unhealthy relationship, and I think we need to take some steps backwards. Chances are that won’t happen though, you are just too seductive.

Dear Eduardo, you have the best accent of all time. I could listen to you talk about nothing all day long.

Dear Caffeine Headaches, damn you.

Dear CW Network, why would you make us wait a WHOLE month for new episodes of Gossip Girl and 90210? You are cruel.

Dear Becca, I cannot believe the sequence of events that happened yesterday while we were on our daily phone call. I can’t say I am proud of you enough. I think you are going to do GREAT in Belize, and I am a little jealous of your upcoming move. I also think you should know that I am going to miss you something awful and will probably have at least one session of crying in the fetal position while sucking my thumb. But whats new, ya know? I really hope you didn’t get on the roof last night.

Dear Brad Womack AKA the Bachelor, pick Emily.

Dear Emily, say no.

Dear Sarah Hyland, your impersonation of Gail is the best thing to hit YouTube since Justin Bieber.

Dear Beef, please watch the videos that I diligently sent you via text. Also, I cannot even wait for your bachelorette party. I mean, I am not sure how things could be get crazy than your ‘21 YEA’ birthday, but it is my goal to top that. (Minus the puking on my bleeding foot in the bathroom). Anyways its obvious that you are going to be the prettiest bride ever.

Dear Girl Scouts nation wide, your Samoas are the best cookies that have ever been invented. I think you girls should win some kind of award for making a cookie that tastes so good. I think you really deserve it.

Dear Mumford and Sons, the Railroad Revival Tour is the best thing you have ever thought of and I would give basically anything to be in attendance, preferably in Austin, Texas. I can’t get over how bummed I am to be missing such an epic concert.

Dear Leasing Offices for Apartments in Westminster and Broomfield, please lower your monthly rent prices.

Dear Panera, I think I am in love with you.

Dear Remixes, you almost always suck compared to the original song. Except for Jason Derulo’s “Whatcha Say”. That is the exception.

Dear Colorado, the snow is beautiful. It really is. But please for the love of God do not give us any more snow. Its time for warm(er) weather and Spring time. I do want to thank you though for giving me over 300 days per year of sunshine. Its one of the main reasons I live here.

Dear Tim who sits next to me at work, your lunch smells delicious. How do you feel about sharing?

Dear Mom, thanks for always telling me you are proud of me and laughing at my jokes even when they aren’t that funny to you. I think you are the best. Thanks for the genetics that make it impossible for me to get anywhere on time. But thanks for the other set of genetics that prevented me from being a complete ass hole. And thanks for teaching me how to be nice…I am still working on it. I really am. Baby steps.

Dear Rene, I think you are great and really funny. I think we would make a some kind of awesome duo in the marketing world. As long as you are okay with not starting until after lunch and with having drinks after.

Dear Kamp friends, reunion?

Dear Lauren, you have the funniest blog of anyone I know. You might be the funniest person that I (don’t really) know. I almost get giddy when you post something new. And I laugh out loud every time.

Dear Emily Middleton, I am still waiting on confirmation about your upcoming trip to Colorado to go skiing in June. Its not your fault that nobody told you that ski season ends in April. I will do my best to still provide a fun itinerary that includes baking or something and minimal activities that require intense athletic ability.

Dear Cara, (cacka) you send the best text messages of any of my friends. Keep them coming.

Dear Wednesday, please turn into a Friday.