Yoga

Being an athlete for however many odd years would make you believe that I like working out. And I do like working out but ONLY when the actual work out is over. That’s right…I like the way I feel after I work out, but getting to the gym and actually performing the work out may as well be the bane of my existence.

And also, right about the time when I have blocked out a time period to work out, is when my ever so clever brain tries to trick me out of going by using the tactic of distraction. Its only right around the time I am supposed to work out that I realize that the trunk of my car MUST BE CLEANED. PRONTO.

Anyways…some of my trendy friends have been getting into yoga. And its not that I have something against the idea of yoga, except that…well I do. There’s lots of different types of yoga, my least favorite of which called “hot yoga”, and you don’t even want to know what that shiz consists of. (Basically doing backbends in a sauna)…umm NO THANK YOU. Not to mention all the soft voices and meditation lingo that….at some level calms me, and at another level…infuriates me.

Anyways being on a healthy kick and living in the healthiest state in America has got me trying all sorts of new stuff, including yes, you guessed it….yoga.

The first problem that I have with it is that the instructor, lets call her….Helga, thinks that I have the ability to balance like a Asian karate enthusiast, and the truth of the matter is that, I have a real problem with balancing on one foot, wrapping my other foot into my pelvis and weaving my hands through each other while extending them over my back.

Helga’s notorious for getting herself into this position where she’s balancing on her tailbone… I cuss at her when she does it which is awkward thanks to the no talking phenomena, and try and try again, but my body physically cannot do this position. Maybe my tailbone was not created to be balanced on, HUH HELGA!? She tells me it’s ok if I can’t do it and I think, damn straight it’s ok, this is not a position for humans to be in.

I seem to be the only participant who knows that she’s only smiling so she won’t cry because it hurts so bad. She also has been known to let go of her legs and put her arms straight up in the air while her legs are still in the air… even more impossible.

Anyways, to conclude, I think that yoga is un-American. That crap needs to be contained in China or wherever it originated. Brian Regan agrees:

I also really appreciated this: http://www.serradinho.com/Blog/funny-yoga-for-drunks.htm

I gotta get some sleep, I have a yoga class tomorrow morning.....NAMASTE.

Epic Reality TV

I have to get some tension out via web blog. This tension comes in the form of reality tv, more specifically…the bachelor, season 38, or whatever.

(NOTE: I vowed after my senior year to never watch this crap television show again, and I would just like to apologize for breaking that promise because I had popcorn, ice cream, and a snuggie as I posted up on the couch with my Denver buddies. I would also like to add that we could broadcast our commentary because it was epic and I almost peed my pants.)

OK. Deep breath. Oh my gosh. How did this show get created? A show where 25 girls desperately throw themselves at a 38year old guy with serious commitment problems and and unhealthy relationship with his therapist. (NOTE: we are unsure of his actual qualifications as a therapist…he may or may not be a collegiate frat brother.) And how did all of the girls actually ON the show miss that notification that he does, in fact, get to date 25 girls. You were right, Chris Harrison….emotions ARE running high.

A few things:

1.) Who let Michelle on this show? It’s very clear that her only role is for ratings, because this girl is bat shiz crazy. Side note: You beat yourself up in your sleep? Yeah, I am not buying it. What really went down behind the scenes?

2.) Why does ABC keep throwing curve balls at poor Emily, (the blonde Barbie doll that he clearly likes more than the others…hence the picnic pre-rose-ceremony)? IE. Sticking her in a plane/racecar (next week) after her husband the racecar driver died in a plane crash. Low blow, ABC, low blow.

3.) “I just have to follow my heart.” …..PROFOUD, Chantal O. (as if there are any other Chantal’s?) And can we just discuss the fact that Brad is looking for someone who he can really be himself around…..UM is that not what everyone wants? Can you be more specific?

4.) The skinny girl in the blue and white bathing suit...WHAT. IS. HER. NAME? I swear to you even the Bachelor himself couldn’t answer that question since he called her “you” about 47 times before someone hit him with a cue card reading “her name is ‘Britt’”. I was hoping he would just start throwing names out, letting her playfully correct him. But this is reality TV and that doesn’t go down. Needless to say, she got a rose because he wants to jump her bones.

5.) Ashley with the country accent very closely resembles that girl in high school that EVERYONE hated because she tried WAY too hard. I especially enjoyed the part when she ruined Alli’s one on one time and then asked her for a “hug” to smooth it over. Clearly that did not work, welcome to girl code 101. But good try Ashley. And sadly enough she was still at least top 5 on my list of acceptable show winners until she did the puppy dog impersonation and whined about whether there was still a connection. Buzz kill and major turn off.

6.) “You make me feel like this is something that could happen in REAL life.” –Brad the Bachelor. Really? Really Brad? You’re date was taking a helicopter ride and walking on the bottom of the ocean only to have a bedside brawl on the beach with one of the 10 women that you are dating. I have a hard time believing that this date with millions of cameras in your face resembles anything close to real life. Either that or we define reality in different terms.

7.) Who drugged the dentist? Chick has lost her mind. Even Brad asks “What ARE YOU DOING?” And she openly admits ruining her chances because of her emotional instability and with that I would have to agree. You cant be a basket case at this point in the game. Pull it together Ashley and LOSE THE RUFFLES.

8.) HOW many times do Michelle (what is she wearing?) and Bachelor need to discuss the fact that they DID, indeed, repel off of a steel building? That was 8 hours ago. Move past that conversation, and preferably not to a conversation about your daughter because YES it would be detrimental to her childhood to introduce her to the man you are simultaneously dating alongside a baker’s dozen other girls. Not like the kid stands a chance anyways with those genetics, SHEESH. The fact that she gets a rose makes me realize that I have zero compatibility with Brad Womack.

9.) Girl with the messy hair……do you realize that you are on National Television? Brush. Your. Hair. And this coming from someone who showers once a week.

10.) Girl in the brown/black (?) dress who has never been featured on the show previous to this week……YOUR DRESS IS TOO SMALL. Where are her friends when she needs them to help dress her for the MOST DRAMATIC ROSE CEREMONY EVER?? And my fellow commentators and I referred to her as the “leaner” because her boobs were clearly weighing her down, making her top-heavy and causing her to lean forward more than what is considered acceptable.

PS. I miss the vampire.

Oh my gosh this crap is too good. It served as my ab workout yesterday. And I am well on my way to a six-pack, people. It’s a little sad that this is what my Monday nights consist of but its just TOO ENTERTAINING to miss. Trashy reality TV, I am obviously not above it.

SIDE NOTE: If I ever sign myself up to be on a reality tv show, if I am ever THAT desperate to find prince charming and TRU LUV then someone please handcuff me to my couch and get me a Russian mail order husband or something. Nothing could be worse than going on this show.

Thanks and GIG EM BACHELOR. Please God, say he picks Emily

We No Speak Americano

Okay, you have got to be freaking kidding me here........

Yeah I have no other words.

No Strings Attached

So last night I went to dinner and a movie with my frans from Colorado. The dinner was good, and the movie was “No Strings Attached”. The script reads something like Natalie Portman and Ashton Kutcher trying to keep a relationship purely physical, and not get any more serious than that. Hence the title.

I am not going to lie, I am always up for a cheesy chick flick. Guilty pleasure? I am fairly positive that its not something I really want to boast about that I can completely zone out, letting my mind drift into the lives of the easy to love characters in films such as this. Especially romantic comedies. However, I usually snap back into reality, writing off every chick flick I see as unrealistic and promptly move on with my life.

However on this go around, the story about a girl who has commitment issues and freaks out, taking immediate and hasty drinks from a milkshake any time the conversation goes past hobbies or favorite restaurants and the guys begins a DTR was a little close to home. Dagger. (minus the sex part….)

I would probably openly admit that I have commitment issues in relationships, but I like to think that its just because I haven’t met Mr. Right if you know what I’m saying. Although I will boldly proclaim that my issues are minor compared to Natalie Portman’s character in the story. Regardless, I’m not lying when I say that I sighed a sigh of relief when (SPOILER ALERT) the commitment issues girl finally does fall in love and they “live happily ever after”. A little hard to relate with, since its Ashton Kutcher who is pursuing her. But that’s neither here nor there, and I’m happy to report that even Cinemark thinks there is hope for me (and any other relationally challenged people) still.

On Edge

It’s weird that I am experiencing writer’s block because I feel like there is a lot I want to say. Frankly I am really pleased with how deep this blog has been thus far, but at the same time I don’t want this thing acting as my diary, although lets be honest...the blog world is the diary of the 21^st century. But I don’t feel like that really represents my whole self. Here’s to switching things up from time to time. Now that we have cleared that up, moving on.

FIRST TO BE ADDRESSED: this is my 3^rd blog post in three days. I deserve a blogging trophy, gold medal, certificate, or at the very least a high five from all around. I mean…talk about accomplishment. I guess that comes with being unemployed and having nothing to do besides coffee shop exploring. (More on that later.)

I am not exaggerating when I say that I have been an emotional basketcase trying to figure out what in the free world I am supposed to do with my life now that I am a Coloradian (?)…(see: Colorado permanent resident). So I have this big interview for this fancy schmancy job tomorrow, and it makes me a little vulnerable to even put that out there on the WWW because there is a very high percentage chance that I will not get this job. Its not exactly an entry level position, and I am obviously the most entry level applicant that you can possibly get. The job position requirements say that you need a minimum of at least 2 years experience in the field, and since I have zero years I am pretty much completely riding on my personality and charm.

But here’s to trying, and here’s to therapy when I end up not getting it. I will tell you one thing, I am avoiding and steering clear of counseling at all cost, because lets be real—we all know how that turned out last time. And if you don’t know how that turned out last time…well it’s a tragic story for another day.

So like I said, here’s to trying. And "Why not...why not take a crazy chance? Why not do a crazy dance?" -Hillary Duff. And a crazy dance is EXACTLY what I will be doing if it so happens that they give me this job. On the chance that that does not happen, I feel confident in the support system that I have in place when/if they tell me that I am under-qualified for the position, which I am. (I have, however, scripted a rebuttal argument that I am not afraid to use.) So I will keep you guys posted as far as that goes.

INSERT: If AT&T drops another call…I am going to lose my shiz. And if skype doesnt let me talk to my best frans that live across the country I am going to throw my computer across the room. I am on edge, technology. Please respect that.

January19: Megan Day

Today I feel the need to acknowledge a friend via blog. I have never done a blog post solely for the purpose of a shout out, but you know what there is a time for everything, and today is Megan Templin’s day (SHOUT OUT). She not only deserves a day, but I need to spice this thing up anyways. And it’s not her birthday or anything, but she doesn’t need to get any older for us to celebrate her existence. So to all my avid followers (four), applaud my infamous tiny best friend.

Mego, Temps, Bambi, Glitter Pitts….these are some of the references used to nickname my friend Megan. Things were not always how they are today for us, so I will give you a background check. We met in Lampe, Missouri at Kanakuk and you can go read all the sappiness of my FIRST BLOG, when I listed all the reasons why I really love her, how we met….the whole romantic story. Except it wasn’t. We both had a common dislike for one another thanks to stereotyping the other. She was friends with my ex-boyfriend which usually means grounds for a lifetime of bitter jealousy…it’s like an unspoken rule not to befriend the new friends of your ex boyfriend that you may or may not have still been in love with at the time. Especially if his new friend is way cuter than you are. But at least this is consistent with my goal of having friends that are nicer, prettier, smarter, and more Christ-like than me. Megan is all of the above.

I digress.

Anyways there are a lot of reasons why I not only love Megan…but I like her. For starters the girl can eat unlimited amounts of peanut M&Ms and still be a toothpick. (NOTE: This fact should be transferred to the things I dislike about Megan….which is a very short list and only include things like “her major makes her too busy for my liking”.) But for realz, here are some answers as to why I really like her. These are, but not limited to, the following:

#231: Meg is one of the few people who appreciate my humor and can keep up with me as far as wit goes. That is a skill that I would not accredit to many people.

#4: She lets me wear sweatpants in public, acknowledging that it takes some real talent to dress identical to a homeless person. And she keeps the lez jokes to 5 or less per visit. I appreciate her for that.

#178: Megan is one of the few friends who I can trust to help talk me out of an identity crisis such as the one I almost had the other day when the stars apparently re-aligned and changed my zodiac sign. I was happy being a Taurus and then BAM, I am an Aries? Like who the hell am I?

#57: She has a bucket list that she actually checks things off of. I love lists…I mean a good itinerary can give me warm fuzzies inside, but I am not going to lie to you…bucket lists scare the S-H-I-Z out of me. Being competitive, what if I do not accomplish my list of the bucket before God takes me!? Would that not make me an all out failure? Anyways whatever, Megan has overcome these realistic and daunting fears and is steadily making amendments to, and crossing things off of her bucket list. And the point of this fact is that she lets me check things off her bucket list with/alongside her…like the time she basically drug me by the pony tail to get Hillsong tickets because BY GOLLY we were going to see Hillsong Live if it killed us beneath the trample of 30,000 college students.

#738: She talked me into seeing ‘Burlesque’ which was the best movie of 2010 in my (our) opinion.

#122: She never fails to take me to a Mexican Restaurant every time I come to visit, complete with chips and salsa/+queso (ALWAYS). The girl knows the way to my heart.

#7: She sends me texts like this: (in reference to the band Girl Talk)

#39: She is smarter than me. Little skank is studying neuroanatomy or something (I think she makes these words up) and she makes 4.0’s in grad school at Baylor University. Like who does that?

#28: We are about even on who has the most debauchery in our pasts. She knows when to appropriately make jokes about my sinful nature, even when its inappropriate. I also know that I can attack her right back on her own junk. Honesty is key, and we are both honestly aware of our train-wreck, wack job status. I like the feeling of not being alone in that feat.

#5: Megan is the ONLY PERSON who understands how to handle me when I enter crisis mode and threatens to kill/destroy/annihilate anyone who hurts me, promising to come to wherever I am and bring a weapon. As if she could defend me better than I could defend myself. She has the heart of a Lion and while I could take her in a physical fight with my eyes closed, I respect her courage. ...But then again, she punched a boy in the face. ……..reassessment of said statement.

#12: She is part of my family. A frister, per say. Creepily high on our adoption list no matter what it takes. (Carson is recently single.....just saying)

#907: She rides four wheelers, shoots guns, and lives on a farm.

#27: Megan comes to visit me when I move halfway across the country and supports the idea that I plan on being in the x-games. I feel confident that she would come and pose as my trainer when the time comes that I really am competing in the women’s halfpipe.

#456: She orders books off of the internet about Serial Killers and then has to creepily hide it in her jacket while transporting it to her book shelf in order for her neighbors to not be concerned.

#772: She bought a file organizer at Wal Mart at 2AM while visiting me in the Shady T, because she had seen it on an infomercial and it would be "perfect to organize her files."

#29: She will text me and let me entertain the obsession I have with talking via #hashtags. #realbestfriend

#88: She follows all the greatest cheesy teenage tv shows and likes them, therefore making it much easier to discuss the awesomeness of Gossip Girl and how Blair is LEGIT.

#10: She introduced me to Modern Family, which in and of itself could have sold me on our friendship.

In conclusion, there are tons of reasons why Megan should have a full blog dedicated solely to her, and I am glad that you could be a part of a few of them. Cheers to you, Megan. Now invest in a good winter coat and stop being such a titty baby about the snow.....COME. TO. COLORADO.

New Year, New Life

Sorry about my absence. Life has been a little nuts lately. Here is the 30 second catch up…Being home for a month was amazing, I love my family. I wish they all lived in Denver with me now. Christmas was phenomenal as it always is, and I remember how rich I am and how overwhelmingly blessed. I spent the entirety of my time at home with my family, running errands with Trudy, lunch and dinners with my mom, and attached at the hip to Brittney and Carson. I worked to get enough money to support the trek back to Colorado. I got to be a part of a beautiful wedding, where my big sister and mentor married the love of her life and became a Beaver! I felt so blessed to share that time with her. I got to see my best friends from High School, brief as it was, but speaking of weddings, my BEST FRIEND GOT ENGAGED! That’s right, everyone, Beef is off the market. She is planning her New Year’s Eve wedding for 2011, and I am going to get to be a bridesmaid all over again! Her relationship with Dustin gives hope to the rest of the world, as they are perfect for each other. I spent this New Years Eve quietly at home with family, and I didn’t mind. The next day it was a new year, and I started a new life as I embarked on the journey back to Denver, Colorado…my new home.

I have now been living in Denver for two weeks, yesterday. Here is the best I can do to get the chaos of the past 18 days onto paper.

God is teaching me a lot of things right now, especially through being essentially dropped in a big city without a map. At least that’s kind of how I feel. Last semester I was on my knees constantly begging for direction from the Lord about what to do after YWAM. Denver. That’s the only answer I got. Why Denver? Why not make the easy move to Dallas? I would be close to family, close to friends, and be familiar with my surroundings, confident of job opportunities. But no, God said Denver. So as I put on my cloak of independence, I braved the snowstorm and headed Northwest. About an hour into the drive, I thought “What the heck am I doing?!” About two hours into the drive, while listening to Mumford and Sons: “After the Storm”, I received some kind of peace from the Lord that I was living in the middle of His will and plan for my life. I have always wanted to live in Colorado. And here I am doing it.

SIDE NOTE: Whoever thinks you cannot worship to secular music is mistaken. Mumford and Sons have some seriously spiritual undertones, and their lyrics point me straight towards the God of the Universe. This particular song’s melody screams “There will come a day, you’ll see, with no more tears. And love will not break your heart but dismiss your fears.” I don’t know why that calmed me down so much, but I just got some kind of affirmation that the God who created life was in control. And that his love should guide me, because His love is the only kind worth trusting. The only love that doesn’t disappoint. Ever.

I wont say it hasn’t been lonely at times, by myself in a big city. But amidst my fears, real as they are…I feel the presence of a God that is bigger than me. He has blessed me in more ways that I can describe:

Example #1: I live with the Gray family. Lorrie and Chris, and their two daughters, Zoe and Nadia. The most gracious of all families, I am so privileged to come home to such a welcoming group. I have gotten to watch them parent, and I learn so much from conversations with Lorrie about life and God and everything else. God has so sovereignly placed me here for a reason. I know the Lord better by interacting with the Gray family. And it is really the biggest blessing to never have to come home to an empty house. Thank you, Gray Family.

Example #2: Four summers ago I worked at Kanakuk, and during work week I met a girl named Alex Buth who I automatically clicked with. You know those friends that just happen in an instant? This was one of those times. I only spent two weeks with Alex but I always remembered her, and I am pretty sure we wrote letters back and forth during the summer of 2007. When I moved back to Denver, she is the one and only friend I had here. Oh how great the Lord is for advocating such a friend. She has welcomed me with open arms into her life, always including me and letting me tag along. Through her, I re-met Sydni Sullivan, (another K2 girl from 2007) and the greatest guy friend named James. Alex has served as an open door into community in Denver, and I am so grateful for her generosity as she has made the transition from Texas to Colorado so much easier. Thank you, Alex Buth.

Example #3: About 10 years ago, a boy named Andrew Summersett was my boyfriend and he was passionately involved with what seemed like some kind of cult called ‘Kanakuk’. I cannot thank him enough for introducing me into the world that is Kanakuk, I owe him big time for that. He opened my eyes to a group of Christian athletes like myself who were seeking a relationship with Christ Jesus. Since being in Colorado I have gotten to be a part of the K-LIFE chapter here. Kanakuk has provided me with lifelong friendships, and countless opportunities. In a round about way, Andrew paved the way for a life of gospel community, everywhere I go. The Kanakuk network was my avenue for doing YWAM, for attaining my best friends, and now is serving as my sanctuary here in Denver. On Monday nights I have been attending K-LIFE club, and have met some AMAZING girls that have welcomed me with open arms. I ate lunch with one of such girls today, Lana. And Blair is a College Station native! A small piece of home :) Funny how God uses my high school boyfriend to show me His grace through others. Thank you Andrew Summersett, Kanakuk, Lana Hass, Blair Whitley, and Tayler Ratanassin.

Example #4: My mom. My mom is……there are no words. The most supportive and loving person that lives. Oh how lucky I am to have such a phenomenal support system at home. She is the reason I am who I am. She is the reason I am in Denver, painful as it might be for her, accepting the distance between here and Texas. My mom is the most selfless person on the planet, and I cannot even imagine the size of her crown that is waiting for her in heaven. I have the best mom of anyone, anywhere. While I have been in Denver, searching for direction and trusting the Lord that called me here, my mom has been faithful to support me. Emotionally, physically, financially…you name it. My mom makes it possible for me to pursue the Lord wholeheartedly. It is so comforting to know that she loves me no matter what I do. I hope that someday I can be half the mom to my kids that she has been to me. I cant imagine a more successful mother. Anyways, talk about blessing from the Lord. I could not do what I am doing without her. And alongside her support, I have the same support from Brittney and Carson, Trudy, Kaleb and Roman, and my sweet Grandmommy. That’s my team. And I would pick them for my team every time. Thank you, Mom and family.

Example #5: God has just been opening avenues for me to pursue Him in every aspect. YWAMers have let me borrow snowboard equipment so that I can snowboard, while worshiping the God that allows me to be physically able to slide down a snowy mountain on a board. I like to look around and see how big my God is while taking in the beauty of nature in the winter wonderland of the Rocky Mountains. I have so many people in place here in Denver who want to be a part of my adventure. And I serve the God that put them there. God is opening doors for a career, and I will update you more on that later. I am just trying to keep my eyes on Him, trusting his guidance. He has proven trustworthy again and again. Thank you, Lord.

So while some days are harder than others, I am slowly settling down in Colorado. And when I sit back and think about it, I love it here. I love the mountains. I love the snow. I love that I live in the sunniest city in America. I love the God that brought me here.

And one final thing that I am learning is honesty with myself and with God. Rightfully that Matt Chandler is starting a series on the topic. I am being blatantly honest with God. Or at least trying to. I think that’s the one thing that helps my healing in almost every avenue of my life. I came to a huge painful conclusion about the state of my heart the other day that I had been denying for something like a year and a half now. Out loud I admitted my sin, the sin that I had so positively denied. It brought about some kind of freedom to own up to who I am-broken and unworthy, knowing that the gospel frees me to do so. God loves me regardless of my actions, shortcomings, and failures. Therefore my identity should be rooted not in what I can accomplish, but in what Christ already accomplished for me on the cross. I think the gospel is meant to bring us to the end of ourselves so that we finally place our meaning, purpose, and sense of well-being in Christ alone. And I get to the end of parts of me pretty often. Some days I am overwhelmed with how grateful I am, and I FEEL it. Other days, while the knowledge of how blessed I am remains in my head, I don’t feel it. I feel alone and sad…for no apparent reason. So I am faithful to tell God that I feel like that. Not like he doesn’t know in the first place. Some days I feel hopeless. Some days I feel overwhelmed. Some days I feel like I am on top of the world. I have been in love before….once or twice, and I want to be in LOVE with the Lord. I have found my thoughts drifting to the Lord lately, and I think that is a good sign. I sometimes love other things more than I love God…Lord save me from myself. One thing that moving to Colorado has made painfully clear is my dependence on Christ Jesus. On his unfailing love. On his healing grace, and unending mercy. I believe that I am loved. I don’t believe it fully, but I am making some leeway. I only hope that I will be filled so full with this love that it will pour out of me into the lives of others.

This was scattered, but in conclusion, trust God. Trust the God that created you. When He says do something ridiculous, do it. Because it is by this type of faith that we get to see Him be faithful. Dallas would have been fine. I would have relied on my own self sufficiency and been fine. But I would have missed seeing God provide in ways that I could not imagine. Monica Rex sent me this “A life characterized by apparent self sufficiency finds no inherent need or desperate longing for such a sacrifice. In order to find oneself worthy in Christ, one must first find themselves completely unworthy in the sense that a hole must be present that only Christ can fill.” And can I just say, Christ fills that hole so perfectly.