Today starts the Christmas holiday for the team here. And by team, I mean…today starts my vacation. We have a small and intimate team on the blog staff here. I am flying out of Denver (prayerfully….assuming there is a blizzard on its way. Funny too…because Colorado has had a record low amount of snowfall this year, but Mother Nature picks TODAY to dump white death on our city!? BLACKOUT RAGE…but alas this is what happens when southerner meets snowstorm. …I digress) tonight and headed to Dallas to see my BFF Becca Feagin who has finally graced America with her presence once again. Missed her like WOAH and can. not. wait. to hug her neck!
Then I will spend the next week and a half in the Shady T with the best family on the planet. I plan to go crazy. Do off-the-wall and bizarre activities. Like go deering with my broskies. Or like eating pumpkin pie and ice cream out of a coffee mug. Throwing off every unsuspecting person by eating it in a non-bowl. Mayhem! Chaos! Like I said…planning to go absolutely nuts. Also planning to wear sweat pants at all times unless I am in a bridesmaids dress on NYE. I conceded to Beef on that one.
A few things exciting to note about the upcoming two weeks would be as follows:
Seeing Rebecca Ann Feagin. Prolly gonna cry. And by prolly I mean definitely.
Telling my blonde best, Bethany, HAPPY BIRTHDAY over the phone (tragic). Quarter
life crisis time!
Going shopping in the metroplex with the fam. Brittney raging about my purchases.
At least one breakdown in one of our cars. We wouldn’t be us if we didn’t have shiZ cars.
Celebrating Christmas BROWN RICE style, fully equipped with a color coordinated photo shoot and/or all of us holding weenie dogs wearing Santa hats.
Spray tanning with Cara (Cacka) in Sketchville, USA with all the toddlers in tiaras. LEGIT.
ALL THINGS BEEF’S WEDDING!!!!!!!!! CANT WAIT!!
Reuniting with the High School gang. Pretending to be 17 again.
Cuddling the shiZ out of Carson.
Laughing more than usual. But not to the point of shrieking. This doesn’t apply to the rents. They shriek on a daily basis while together.
Some crazy tragedy, as per the norm in my family. Needing Jesus.
PRESENTS!
Not working or even so much as thinking about work. Being as unproductive as humanly possible.
Binge eating. PUMPKIN PIE. Over and over and over.
OBVIOUSLY the reason for the season, celebrating the birth of the baby Jesus. HALLELUJAH.
That pretty much sums up the holiday for me. So help me God if someone doesn’t put a Starbucks gift card in a stocking for me. HINT: MOM.
Anyways, Im here to wish you a happy holiday. Go nuts, people. What better reason could you possibly have to celebrate than Christ’s birthday!?? Even Zoe, my 4 year old roommate, knows this!! She has just survived a Santa trauma, because she knows he is not real but a man dressed as Santa came to her daycare and told her that he WAS REAL. She therefore cried for hours as her parents tried to explain, and last night when I asked her what the meaning of Christmas is she said: “Weeellll, it’s all about giving…and loving…and Jesus’ birthday…and it’s not about SANTA because he is just an old man dressed up that says he will bring you presents but WONT!”
I felt so sorry for her. God love her.
MERRY CHRISTMAS!
Wednesday, December 21, 2011
Wednesday, December 14, 2011
Reason for the Season
With December came relief from the pressure of blogging every day and also, December left me lost blogilogically..with nothing really left to say. And plumb out of creativity. December actually brought a lot of things, come to think. December brought my Texas friends, Rita and Sydney, for a weekend in the mountains and a weekend of laughter. December brought goodbyes and hugs and slumber parties with Bethany before she left for home & India. December brought the freezing cold, and the snow has not left the ground since its arrival. December is also bringing a trip home to Texas, seeing my collegiate best, Becca Feagin for the first time in a year, a high school reunion, Beef’s wedding (18 days and counting), and most importantly: Christmas!
Tis the season to be jolly, people! It is HERE. It’s beginning to feel a lot like Christmas, and I am roasting chestnuts on an open fire tonight. And by open fire, I mean…in the oven. I hear jingle bells (because Kathleen at my office wears them on her shoes during this time of year) and I definitely love the White Christmas that Colorado has been so gracious to give me, even though it presents some Cold December Nights. We have been Rockin’ Around the Christmas tree and are planning to have a Happy Holiday. I hope you are too.
Did you guys see what I just did there? I scripted an entire paragraph with song titles of popular Christmas songs. Clever, eh? Alright, let’s soldier on people.
I love Christmas season. And I love that the reason is exists is because Jesus Christ was born. Hallelujah! Matt Chandler and the Village Church are doing an Advent campaign to “get underneath the meaning of Christmas” instead of getting caught up in all of the presents and shopping and stress and binge eating. Which is difficult assuming that we live consumer driven America. But I am going to join them in their feat.
God has been teaching me a lot of things lately and the most resounding theme goes under the title of: I CANNOT FIX MYSELF. What a crazy easy thing to believe in my head, but my heart is so very reluctant. I mean seriously. I honestly think that if I try hard enough, I will be able to fix myself. I can be better. I can stop this, or start that and STICK WITH IT. I can decide today that I want to be a certain thing, and succeed. I think I can take control and make myself into the person that I want to be. The sad truth is that I cannot. I absolutely and positively cannot. I am hopeless and sick and in need of a Savior.
We are all guilty of the same thing: rebellion against God. And whether it manifests itself in an obvious manner or whether we are living in pride or secret sin, the point remains. We are all guilty. There is not one who is good, by nature. We are by our nature objects of God’s wrath. We are actually incapable of righteousness. CUE: THE GOSPEL. (and the reason for the season)
The gospel, if anything, is a story about remarkably wicked people who cannot fix themselves, and how God—in his never ending love and mercy—answers to our problem. It’s the most marvelous story of all time, and the best news to those of us who are failing miserably at “being better.” I despise not being in control, but the beauty of the gospel is that I don’t have to be, because God is.
God is all about God being glorified, which translates into God being about our joy. His provision, care, and love for me is NOT because I am spectacular but because HE is spectacular. God is glorified by his coming to save sinners. Jesus came to save and heal what could not save or heal itself.
So for those of us who are tired of trying to be better, forgiveness is here. We can let go of our clenched fists over the control of our life because Jesus Christ was born. God has made a way. And that is something to celebrate, people. In the highest degree.
Tis the season to be jolly, people! It is HERE. It’s beginning to feel a lot like Christmas, and I am roasting chestnuts on an open fire tonight. And by open fire, I mean…in the oven. I hear jingle bells (because Kathleen at my office wears them on her shoes during this time of year) and I definitely love the White Christmas that Colorado has been so gracious to give me, even though it presents some Cold December Nights. We have been Rockin’ Around the Christmas tree and are planning to have a Happy Holiday. I hope you are too.
Did you guys see what I just did there? I scripted an entire paragraph with song titles of popular Christmas songs. Clever, eh? Alright, let’s soldier on people.
I love Christmas season. And I love that the reason is exists is because Jesus Christ was born. Hallelujah! Matt Chandler and the Village Church are doing an Advent campaign to “get underneath the meaning of Christmas” instead of getting caught up in all of the presents and shopping and stress and binge eating. Which is difficult assuming that we live consumer driven America. But I am going to join them in their feat.
God has been teaching me a lot of things lately and the most resounding theme goes under the title of: I CANNOT FIX MYSELF. What a crazy easy thing to believe in my head, but my heart is so very reluctant. I mean seriously. I honestly think that if I try hard enough, I will be able to fix myself. I can be better. I can stop this, or start that and STICK WITH IT. I can decide today that I want to be a certain thing, and succeed. I think I can take control and make myself into the person that I want to be. The sad truth is that I cannot. I absolutely and positively cannot. I am hopeless and sick and in need of a Savior.
We are all guilty of the same thing: rebellion against God. And whether it manifests itself in an obvious manner or whether we are living in pride or secret sin, the point remains. We are all guilty. There is not one who is good, by nature. We are by our nature objects of God’s wrath. We are actually incapable of righteousness. CUE: THE GOSPEL. (and the reason for the season)
The gospel, if anything, is a story about remarkably wicked people who cannot fix themselves, and how God—in his never ending love and mercy—answers to our problem. It’s the most marvelous story of all time, and the best news to those of us who are failing miserably at “being better.” I despise not being in control, but the beauty of the gospel is that I don’t have to be, because God is.
God is all about God being glorified, which translates into God being about our joy. His provision, care, and love for me is NOT because I am spectacular but because HE is spectacular. God is glorified by his coming to save sinners. Jesus came to save and heal what could not save or heal itself.
So for those of us who are tired of trying to be better, forgiveness is here. We can let go of our clenched fists over the control of our life because Jesus Christ was born. God has made a way. And that is something to celebrate, people. In the highest degree.
Wednesday, November 30, 2011
Thankful Day 29 & 30
November 29: Cell Phones
This is so obvious that I almost decided not to include it. Can we all just agree that we need cell phones!? WE NEED THEM LIKE WE NEED OXYGEN. I mean we are the most impatient lunatics that have ever graced this earth and can you imagine our life now without our smart phones with GPS and texting and picture capabilities?! I, for one, cannot. It’s a dark world that I personally don’t want to be a part of.
One guy explained it like this: “Without cell phones, we would just wander aimlessly to strangers’ doorsteps and knock. Someone would answer and look at us blankly. Unsure of what to do, we would “HOO” at them like an owl, before malfunctioning like a robot and dissolving into a puddle of burnt wires.” BINGO. I mean seriously…do you guys have Siri?! We are getting dangerously close to cyborgs taking over the world with that shiZ.
We are known for not having the money to pay rent, but spending like…five hundred dollars on an updated phone. Apple has got us all in a death grip. They own us. Seriously, Apple has more money than the US Government. This is not a joke. Maybe we should ask Siri how we can make money and get out of debt to avoid eating Ramen Noodles for the rest of our lives. She’ll respond probably with, “IDK LOL.”
In my defense, I do not have Siri. I just have the regular old iPhone3G. But I want her. I want a personal assistant that talks to me and answers all of my questions. And damnit, I deserve her! *Side Note: While we are agreeing on a few things, let’s take the time and acknowledge that the iPhone is sitting at the popular table and if you don’t have one, you aren’t in the cool club. You probably sit at the loser table eating cafeteria food. Anything other than an iPhone is unforgivably lame, and no one will take you seriously.
One time I tried giving up technology, including my cell phone, on Sundays. Half of me loved this idea and then the other half of me screamed “I CANT HANDLE THE TRUTH!!” because I just twiddled my thumbs until I fell asleep for my second nap of the day. At this point, upon waking, I remember yelling “WHAT NOW?” and shaking my fist at the sky. That was when I decided that giving up my phone was just not going to happen. I mean what is this, 1993?
We were born into this culture of the Internet and instant gratification and it has only intensified with the advances in technology. So it’s not completely our fault. I say we just indulge in the craziness of it all and be thankful that everyone in our lives is one fingertip touch away. (Unless you are wearing gloves, which is infuriating because it is then that you have to decide between texting and hypothermia.)
November 30: The Real Stuff
I have lasted 29 days being thankful for things as random as hair ties, and for things as shallow as the Twilight Saga. All of which were 100% true. But on the last day of November, on day 30 of being thankful I would like to make a quick list of the things that I am REALLY thankful for.
1. The Lord 3 in 1. God the Father, Jesus, the Holy Spirit – the whole gang. I am so thankful that this all knowing, all loving God who created me loves me in spite of me. He never gives up on me. He wants to talk to me. He is wholly different than me, and infinitely bigger, but wants to meet me where I am at, and cares immensely about the things that matter to me. I am thankful for the salvation that assures my eternal security with Him. And I am thankful that God is God and I am not. I am thankful that he chose me, loves me, cares for me, forgives me, and reveals himself to me. I am thankful that my purpose in life is to bring glory to him which results in my own joy. I am thankful that he orchestrates His will and that he doesn’t smite me when I step outside of the umbrella of his protection but that he cradles me and sometimes just has to let me cry. I am thankful that when I am hurting he hurts with me and is faithful to pick me up and dust me off. I am thankful that Jesus can relate to me. I am thankful that the Holy Spirit speaks and moves through me. I am thankful for His provision and for his timing. I am thankful that over all, I am His and He is mine.
2. My family. It shouldn’t be shocking to you that I have a phenomenal family. I talk about them often. I am thankful for my mom, who has loved and supported me through my crazy. I am thankful that she stuck around even when she took me to the girl doctor when I was 14 and I told her I hated her. I am thankful that she allows me to be myself even though I am nothing like she expected a daughter to be, and she loves that I am me. I am thankful that I look just like her and that she genuinely wants the best for me, and will stop at nothing to facilitate that. And I am thankful that even though we are so very different, we are finding avenues back to one another, that we laugh together and that she is the most selfless person alive.
3. Then, I am thankful for my second parent, my aunt Trudy. I am thankful that Trudy is honest, real, and speaks so clearly into my life. I am thankful that I have a phenomenal role model to follow if everything in my life gets turned upside down. I am thankful that she is funny and that she loves me even when she thinks I am being a total idiot. I am thankful that she is perfectly blunt and that she would do anything for me.
4. I am thankful for my littlest sister who is my partner in life, and who is so obviously following the Lord with reckless abandon. I am thankful that she is the perfect sidekick and thankful that she and I are so much alike. I am thankful that she makes me laugh harder than anyone I know and affirms me so well. I am thankful that (only she) laughs when I tell my mom that her decorative-sparkly-winter-sticks kick ass! Because they do. I am so thankful that she is following the Lord’s direction and no one else’s. And that she is black and white. I am thankful that she listens to my stories over and over and always gives good, solid advice. I am thankful that she is funny and really wise and the best friend I will ever know. I am thankful that God made us sisters, because He knew I would need her.
5. I am thankful for my little broskie, Carson - my cloned personality in male format. I am thankful for the fact that he is my protégé. I am thankful that he is funny and outgoing and perfectly handsome. I am thankful to have a boy in my life who I think of as my hero, who will walk me down the aisle and who is going to do big things in the Kingdom…right after he grows out of his teenage idiocy that I know all too well. I am thankful that he is mine, because I love him like I cannot explain in words.
6. I am thankful for my Brown broskies, Kaleb and Roman. I am thankful for their comradery and their ability to step up when things go wrong. I am thankful that Kaleb is compassionate and an amazing servant who is growing in the Lord so much and I am thankful for Roman who is quietly the most hilarious person in our family (even though some of his best comments go unnoticed.) I am so thankful for the both of them and for the example and standard they are setting for the next generation of men in our family who we are praying will break the trends set before them.
7. I am thankful for Grandmommy. Who loves me harder than anyone in the world and who cooks the best and sets such high standards for each of us. I am thankful that everyone knows her and she loves everyone, including all of our friends. I am thankful that she puts up with all of us being so absolutely insane. And I am thankful for her emoticon filled texts that are usually at least 3 pages long.
8. My friends. I’m not going to name each of them but you know who you are. The girls and guys that God has so outrageously and gloriously ordained to speak into my life and to walk beside me as I am being progressively sanctified. My fristers, soulmates, BFFs, and even just my normal friends. They love me well, call me out on my crap, and encourage me towards the cross of Christ. They are from all over this country and some of them live overseas. I am so very thankful for the whole lot of them and am so unbelievably thankful for their love and presence in my life.
9. America, Texas, Colorado. I am so thankful to live in America. 1. Because it’s the greatest country ever, and 2. Because we are free to worship, free to speak, free to do whatever. It’s the biggest blessing that I so often take advantage of. We live comfortably, secure, and with plenty. I am thankful to be a Texan at heart, and I will never be anything else. I am thankful to call the Lone Star State my home and thankful to have a southern twang (when I am not actively controlling it). I am thankful for Colorado and for Denver and for my home for the time being, and the mountains and the camping and the snowboarding and sometimes even the snow. I am thankful that God has placed me in each of these places for a time. For a purpose.
10. Health. I take the ability to move, walk, breath for granted. I have no serious ailments and I am not in chronic pain. So many people are hurting and sick and I am thankful that God has lavished grace on me and has granted me health. It is so unbelievably merciful.
So thanks for sticking with me for 30 days of being thankful. I hope November has treated you as well as it has treated me. It did a pretty bang up job on following October. Onward to December!
See you guys there! Bundle up!
This is so obvious that I almost decided not to include it. Can we all just agree that we need cell phones!? WE NEED THEM LIKE WE NEED OXYGEN. I mean we are the most impatient lunatics that have ever graced this earth and can you imagine our life now without our smart phones with GPS and texting and picture capabilities?! I, for one, cannot. It’s a dark world that I personally don’t want to be a part of.
One guy explained it like this: “Without cell phones, we would just wander aimlessly to strangers’ doorsteps and knock. Someone would answer and look at us blankly. Unsure of what to do, we would “HOO” at them like an owl, before malfunctioning like a robot and dissolving into a puddle of burnt wires.” BINGO. I mean seriously…do you guys have Siri?! We are getting dangerously close to cyborgs taking over the world with that shiZ.
We are known for not having the money to pay rent, but spending like…five hundred dollars on an updated phone. Apple has got us all in a death grip. They own us. Seriously, Apple has more money than the US Government. This is not a joke. Maybe we should ask Siri how we can make money and get out of debt to avoid eating Ramen Noodles for the rest of our lives. She’ll respond probably with, “IDK LOL.”
In my defense, I do not have Siri. I just have the regular old iPhone3G. But I want her. I want a personal assistant that talks to me and answers all of my questions. And damnit, I deserve her! *Side Note: While we are agreeing on a few things, let’s take the time and acknowledge that the iPhone is sitting at the popular table and if you don’t have one, you aren’t in the cool club. You probably sit at the loser table eating cafeteria food. Anything other than an iPhone is unforgivably lame, and no one will take you seriously.
One time I tried giving up technology, including my cell phone, on Sundays. Half of me loved this idea and then the other half of me screamed “I CANT HANDLE THE TRUTH!!” because I just twiddled my thumbs until I fell asleep for my second nap of the day. At this point, upon waking, I remember yelling “WHAT NOW?” and shaking my fist at the sky. That was when I decided that giving up my phone was just not going to happen. I mean what is this, 1993?
We were born into this culture of the Internet and instant gratification and it has only intensified with the advances in technology. So it’s not completely our fault. I say we just indulge in the craziness of it all and be thankful that everyone in our lives is one fingertip touch away. (Unless you are wearing gloves, which is infuriating because it is then that you have to decide between texting and hypothermia.)
November 30: The Real Stuff
I have lasted 29 days being thankful for things as random as hair ties, and for things as shallow as the Twilight Saga. All of which were 100% true. But on the last day of November, on day 30 of being thankful I would like to make a quick list of the things that I am REALLY thankful for.
1. The Lord 3 in 1. God the Father, Jesus, the Holy Spirit – the whole gang. I am so thankful that this all knowing, all loving God who created me loves me in spite of me. He never gives up on me. He wants to talk to me. He is wholly different than me, and infinitely bigger, but wants to meet me where I am at, and cares immensely about the things that matter to me. I am thankful for the salvation that assures my eternal security with Him. And I am thankful that God is God and I am not. I am thankful that he chose me, loves me, cares for me, forgives me, and reveals himself to me. I am thankful that my purpose in life is to bring glory to him which results in my own joy. I am thankful that he orchestrates His will and that he doesn’t smite me when I step outside of the umbrella of his protection but that he cradles me and sometimes just has to let me cry. I am thankful that when I am hurting he hurts with me and is faithful to pick me up and dust me off. I am thankful that Jesus can relate to me. I am thankful that the Holy Spirit speaks and moves through me. I am thankful for His provision and for his timing. I am thankful that over all, I am His and He is mine.
2. My family. It shouldn’t be shocking to you that I have a phenomenal family. I talk about them often. I am thankful for my mom, who has loved and supported me through my crazy. I am thankful that she stuck around even when she took me to the girl doctor when I was 14 and I told her I hated her. I am thankful that she allows me to be myself even though I am nothing like she expected a daughter to be, and she loves that I am me. I am thankful that I look just like her and that she genuinely wants the best for me, and will stop at nothing to facilitate that. And I am thankful that even though we are so very different, we are finding avenues back to one another, that we laugh together and that she is the most selfless person alive.
3. Then, I am thankful for my second parent, my aunt Trudy. I am thankful that Trudy is honest, real, and speaks so clearly into my life. I am thankful that I have a phenomenal role model to follow if everything in my life gets turned upside down. I am thankful that she is funny and that she loves me even when she thinks I am being a total idiot. I am thankful that she is perfectly blunt and that she would do anything for me.
4. I am thankful for my littlest sister who is my partner in life, and who is so obviously following the Lord with reckless abandon. I am thankful that she is the perfect sidekick and thankful that she and I are so much alike. I am thankful that she makes me laugh harder than anyone I know and affirms me so well. I am thankful that (only she) laughs when I tell my mom that her decorative-sparkly-winter-sticks kick ass! Because they do. I am so thankful that she is following the Lord’s direction and no one else’s. And that she is black and white. I am thankful that she listens to my stories over and over and always gives good, solid advice. I am thankful that she is funny and really wise and the best friend I will ever know. I am thankful that God made us sisters, because He knew I would need her.
5. I am thankful for my little broskie, Carson - my cloned personality in male format. I am thankful for the fact that he is my protégé. I am thankful that he is funny and outgoing and perfectly handsome. I am thankful to have a boy in my life who I think of as my hero, who will walk me down the aisle and who is going to do big things in the Kingdom…right after he grows out of his teenage idiocy that I know all too well. I am thankful that he is mine, because I love him like I cannot explain in words.
6. I am thankful for my Brown broskies, Kaleb and Roman. I am thankful for their comradery and their ability to step up when things go wrong. I am thankful that Kaleb is compassionate and an amazing servant who is growing in the Lord so much and I am thankful for Roman who is quietly the most hilarious person in our family (even though some of his best comments go unnoticed.) I am so thankful for the both of them and for the example and standard they are setting for the next generation of men in our family who we are praying will break the trends set before them.
7. I am thankful for Grandmommy. Who loves me harder than anyone in the world and who cooks the best and sets such high standards for each of us. I am thankful that everyone knows her and she loves everyone, including all of our friends. I am thankful that she puts up with all of us being so absolutely insane. And I am thankful for her emoticon filled texts that are usually at least 3 pages long.
8. My friends. I’m not going to name each of them but you know who you are. The girls and guys that God has so outrageously and gloriously ordained to speak into my life and to walk beside me as I am being progressively sanctified. My fristers, soulmates, BFFs, and even just my normal friends. They love me well, call me out on my crap, and encourage me towards the cross of Christ. They are from all over this country and some of them live overseas. I am so very thankful for the whole lot of them and am so unbelievably thankful for their love and presence in my life.
9. America, Texas, Colorado. I am so thankful to live in America. 1. Because it’s the greatest country ever, and 2. Because we are free to worship, free to speak, free to do whatever. It’s the biggest blessing that I so often take advantage of. We live comfortably, secure, and with plenty. I am thankful to be a Texan at heart, and I will never be anything else. I am thankful to call the Lone Star State my home and thankful to have a southern twang (when I am not actively controlling it). I am thankful for Colorado and for Denver and for my home for the time being, and the mountains and the camping and the snowboarding and sometimes even the snow. I am thankful that God has placed me in each of these places for a time. For a purpose.
10. Health. I take the ability to move, walk, breath for granted. I have no serious ailments and I am not in chronic pain. So many people are hurting and sick and I am thankful that God has lavished grace on me and has granted me health. It is so unbelievably merciful.
So thanks for sticking with me for 30 days of being thankful. I hope November has treated you as well as it has treated me. It did a pretty bang up job on following October. Onward to December!
See you guys there! Bundle up!
Tuesday, November 29, 2011
Thankful Day 28
November 28: Good Tags
I hesitated severely about putting this onto the world wide web. In an attempt to be very transparent though, here it is. If you know me at all, you know about my obsession with soft tags. You know that the best tags are found on comforters and that target receipts can sometimes suffice, especially for my littlest sister (who has the same fetish). My best friends in the world have actually mastered the task of finding a “good tag” and can now pick them out for me. Savannah once stood in a store for hours feeling of the tags of what I assume to be a massive amount of ugly dolls to pick out the one with the best tag to send me as a “get well soon” present when I shattered my face. She did a phenomenal job. If you have no idea what I am talking about, welcome to my life. I am crazier than you thought.
This tag fetish began when I was an infant. The problem is that I never grew out of it. My mom says that when I was in my crib, I could find the tag on any stuffed animal and/or blanket and put it up to my face to feel of it while I sucked my thumb. Yes I was a thumb sucker….until a really embarrassing age. I have finally kicked that habit though, in case you were wondering. (First things first.) Further, when I was 2 years old, my Grandmommy gave me a stuffed elephant for Christmas. Great present right? My all-time favorite animal in stuffed form. Should have been a hit. However, (and we have this on video) I took the elephant out of its box, squealed in delight and then immediately started the search for a soft tag…which it did not have. I promptly looked at the animal in disgust and put it back in the box, closed the box, put the bow sloppily on the top and handed it back to my Grandmommy. She laughed and asked me what I was doing, and I told her it didn’t have a good tag and so I didn’t want it. If I was her, I would have slapped me in the face but she just hugged and kissed me and laughed at my ridiculousness. So help me God if my future daughter is just like I was…(I kind of hope she is). So, instead, God so help my future husband if my future daughter is just like me.
I mentioned that my littlest sister Brittney has the exact same fetish. Weird huh? She prefers Target receipts to anything else, which I cannot understand for the life of me. There was one instance when both of us had receipts (and the only way to properly execute a receipt is to “feel it with your face”) and so we both had receipts on our faces and a friend in the back seat finally exclaimed: “Y’ALL ARE SO WEIRD!” We looked at each other and erupted into laughter because before she addressed it, we were completely unaware of what we were doing. It’s involuntary. And plus, we pride ourselves on being weird. And as I re-read this paragraph I am embarrassed for both of us.
Obviously I don’t care that much because this is just going to get weirder. A good tag can calm me down and/or make me feel better if I am having a bad day. They especially aid in anxiety. I don’t know how to explain this, but it’s like having a blanket when you are shivering. Or soup when you are sick. I LOVE a good tag, y’all. I can get a buzz off of finding a perfect one, which I did last weekend on Karla’s bed comforter. I can find them on anything. Towels, pillows….the inside of Bethany’s purse. It’s uncanny actually, and my best friends would agree. So judge me if you want, but tags are here to stay.
Last night I was having a bit of a rough night, and was laying on Briggs’ bed talking, when Behnke came bopping in and said “Ally look what I brought you!” In her left hand was a jumbo box of nerds and in her right hand was a PHENOMENAL tag that she had ripped from some unknowing object. She said “is this a good one??!” It was. It so totally was! I almost cried because my new Denver friends are really starting to really know me. And, oh my gracious God, I am so very thankful. For the friends, and for the good tags they bring me when I need a little pick-me-up.
I hesitated severely about putting this onto the world wide web. In an attempt to be very transparent though, here it is. If you know me at all, you know about my obsession with soft tags. You know that the best tags are found on comforters and that target receipts can sometimes suffice, especially for my littlest sister (who has the same fetish). My best friends in the world have actually mastered the task of finding a “good tag” and can now pick them out for me. Savannah once stood in a store for hours feeling of the tags of what I assume to be a massive amount of ugly dolls to pick out the one with the best tag to send me as a “get well soon” present when I shattered my face. She did a phenomenal job. If you have no idea what I am talking about, welcome to my life. I am crazier than you thought.
This tag fetish began when I was an infant. The problem is that I never grew out of it. My mom says that when I was in my crib, I could find the tag on any stuffed animal and/or blanket and put it up to my face to feel of it while I sucked my thumb. Yes I was a thumb sucker….until a really embarrassing age. I have finally kicked that habit though, in case you were wondering. (First things first.) Further, when I was 2 years old, my Grandmommy gave me a stuffed elephant for Christmas. Great present right? My all-time favorite animal in stuffed form. Should have been a hit. However, (and we have this on video) I took the elephant out of its box, squealed in delight and then immediately started the search for a soft tag…which it did not have. I promptly looked at the animal in disgust and put it back in the box, closed the box, put the bow sloppily on the top and handed it back to my Grandmommy. She laughed and asked me what I was doing, and I told her it didn’t have a good tag and so I didn’t want it. If I was her, I would have slapped me in the face but she just hugged and kissed me and laughed at my ridiculousness. So help me God if my future daughter is just like I was…(I kind of hope she is). So, instead, God so help my future husband if my future daughter is just like me.
I mentioned that my littlest sister Brittney has the exact same fetish. Weird huh? She prefers Target receipts to anything else, which I cannot understand for the life of me. There was one instance when both of us had receipts (and the only way to properly execute a receipt is to “feel it with your face”) and so we both had receipts on our faces and a friend in the back seat finally exclaimed: “Y’ALL ARE SO WEIRD!” We looked at each other and erupted into laughter because before she addressed it, we were completely unaware of what we were doing. It’s involuntary. And plus, we pride ourselves on being weird. And as I re-read this paragraph I am embarrassed for both of us.
Obviously I don’t care that much because this is just going to get weirder. A good tag can calm me down and/or make me feel better if I am having a bad day. They especially aid in anxiety. I don’t know how to explain this, but it’s like having a blanket when you are shivering. Or soup when you are sick. I LOVE a good tag, y’all. I can get a buzz off of finding a perfect one, which I did last weekend on Karla’s bed comforter. I can find them on anything. Towels, pillows….the inside of Bethany’s purse. It’s uncanny actually, and my best friends would agree. So judge me if you want, but tags are here to stay.
Last night I was having a bit of a rough night, and was laying on Briggs’ bed talking, when Behnke came bopping in and said “Ally look what I brought you!” In her left hand was a jumbo box of nerds and in her right hand was a PHENOMENAL tag that she had ripped from some unknowing object. She said “is this a good one??!” It was. It so totally was! I almost cried because my new Denver friends are really starting to really know me. And, oh my gracious God, I am so very thankful. For the friends, and for the good tags they bring me when I need a little pick-me-up.
Sunday, November 27, 2011
Thankful Day 26 & 27
November 26: Sarcasm… and/or Humor
THANK GOD FOR SARCASM and for people who have a decent sense of humor. Am I right or am I right?
For a long time now, I have thought sarcasm might be my love language and it’s taken me right around 23 years to realize that it is not EVERYONE’S love language. (A difficult lesson to learn if I do say so myself.) Sarcasm got me through the day on November 25. Black Friday means nothing to our family as far as shopping goes, but it means everything to our family as far as attic organization goes.
This year, we got to (happily, with a smile on) organize 3 households of Christmas decorations into one and hoist color-coordinated boxes up and down the attic ladder for something around 6 hours. All the sibs were outside, sweating to death, packing Thanksgiving décor into orange boxes and trying to figure out how many wreaths one family could possibly own. The answer would baffle your mind. I’d say we have over 20 Christmas wreaths. Maybe 30. Not to mention, more “Snow Village” figurines than any gift shop in this town.
We were determined to tear down the Thanksgiving/Fall décor, and re-decorate for Christmas over the course of one 12-hour day. We did not accomplish said feat. Not even remotely close. It took us 3 days of blood, sweat and tears. We banished Carson and Roman to the roof for stringing lights, while Kaleb, Brit and I were cussing at lighted Christmas trees because nothing, I repeat NOTHING can make us blackout rage more than the light-up Christmas trees in the “DO NOT DESTROY” trash bags. Extension cord mania, and about 12 blown fuses later, we lit that house like fireworks on the Fourth of July.
Brittney and I put garland and ornaments around the front door frame and wrapped the banisters with greenery and twinkle lights. When I say “we” I mean that I did all that, and she just got stuff out of boxes while looking at me like “our family has lost their damn mind” the whole time. I think she might have even vocalized that once or twice. Trudy and Mom were organizing maniacs and if you were to have walked into our garage on Saturday morning you would have thought we were having a holiday themed Garage Sale. They designed a holiday house display that looks as if it were in a Better Homes and Garden Magazine. And so one minute we had pumpkins gracing our mantle, and then…a mere 72 hours later, we have got a reindeer up there with jingle bells hanging from his antlers. Mission Accomplished? Absolutely.
Amongst everything already mentioned, we planted real Christmas trees for the sake of their smell and played Justin Bieber’s Christmas album along with the Folk Angel Christmas CD and Silent Night on Piano. We blared the music as loud as we could and we set up the tree. We loaded that thing down with ornaments and bows and lights and beads. We put up wooden mooses (I know its grammatically incorrect and I don’t care) with Christmas sweaters and busted out the Holiday dishes. We hung wreaths on every window and door and we put out all the Christmas pillows. We switched all the candles to Christmas scents and put red and green dog collars on our ridiculous amount of pups.
And by golly, we did it using sarcasm! Because otherwise we would have all needed counseling. We decked the halls with boughs of holly like you have never seen before. We giggled and wrestled and made fun of ourselves for having so much C.R.A.P. One time I got stuck between a box and the attic and was stranded mid-way up the latter but couldn’t stop laughing long enough to un-wedge myself. We laughed at how horrible one of the light-up trees looked and nobody volunteered to fix it. We laughed at whatever the hell we were wearing which in my case involved tall socks on top of leggings like an idiot. We laughed at how many dogs were nipping at our heels. We laughed and laughed and laughed and we were thankful. And sarcastic as hell.
Some of my favorite displays of humor included, but are not limited to the following list:
1. Carson’s impression of Brian Regan jokes. Specifically the one about Animal Sounds, like dogs saying bow wow. Could. Not. Pull. It. Together.
2. Being literal. A surefire way to drive people (READ: me) absolutely insane is to respond to well-known expressions as literally as possible. It’s hilarious and infuriating. For example, if someone is commiserating with you and says, “Join the club!” respond by asking about their annual membership fees. Or if someone is agreeing with something you commented briefly about by saying, “Tell me about it!” look them squarely in the eye and say, “I just did.” Roman and Carson are champions at this and it gets me every time.
3. Using “I know you are but what am I” as my one and only comeback for everything. I never did this, but I think it would be awesome. Add that to the to-do list for Christmas break.
4. Making fun of any person who seemed to be doing less work than the rest of us during the decoration commemoration of 2011.
5. Over emphasizing our Texan Accents, and speaking ONLY in movie quotes, which we did an amazing job of on Friday night during dinner because all of the guests that we had over were absolutely silent as they had no idea what we were talking about for the majority of the night. Inside jokes make the people inside feel like a million bucks and the people outside feel like idiots.
But humor is humor and sarcasm is sarcasm and if you don’t understand that, then I will probably never marry you. But that’s neither here nor there and regardless, I am thankful for sarcasm and humor and laughter and all that comes with it. And to legitimize this whole argument I could talk for another hour about how funny God is, especially in my life. I mean, the whole humor thing was his idea in the first place.
November 27: Man’s Best Friend
Remember that movie “All Dogs Go To Heaven”? Please note that all cats do not go to heaven, because cats are selfish and arrogant and deceitful and Jesus doesn’t like any of those character qualities. I love dogs. Or, better, I love the idea of dogs. I love the idea of wrestling a huge, slobbery dog and sleeping beside him and going on runs with him. I love big dogs. But as Megan so lovingly pointed out, I really would prefer that said dog did not smell like a dog or cost me money or pee in the house.
As it stands, my family is a bunch of dog hoarders. It was one thing when we lived in separate homes, but throughout the past few years, our entire family lives in one little house and we have 5 weenie dogs. And a bulldog is living with us while my aunt is too sick to take care of him. So, make that 6 dogs. Animal hoarding at its finest. The dachshund pups are named: 1.) Oreo 2.) Skittles 3.) Kinsler (After Ian Kinsler of the Texas Rangers) 4.) Kipp and 5.) Tucker. And although small dogs usually infuriate me, I can’t help but love these little guys. Kipp and Kinsler cuddled with me all night last night while watching a movie, and Kinsler has velvet ears making him my favorite to snuggle.
I have always kind of been against having 5 weenie dogs for pets. But sometimes you don’t choose the gift, the gift chooses you. And like we already established: God is funny that way.
After much deliberation I have decided that weenie dogs are not so bad. They aren’t Huskies, Labradors, Mastiffs or Golden Retreivers but they love our family more than life itself. And they know when we are sad and act accordingly. And they are fun. And sometimes dare I say, even cute. They bring us a ton of joy and a ton of messes to clean up, and we don’t even mind, as long as I am not primarily in charge of cleaning up.
So thanks God, for blessing our family with 5 little companions whose bodies are too long and legs are too short. We really do love them dearly. Even Skittles, our massively overweight weenie pup whose head is at least 8x too small for her blimp like body.
THANK GOD FOR SARCASM and for people who have a decent sense of humor. Am I right or am I right?
For a long time now, I have thought sarcasm might be my love language and it’s taken me right around 23 years to realize that it is not EVERYONE’S love language. (A difficult lesson to learn if I do say so myself.) Sarcasm got me through the day on November 25. Black Friday means nothing to our family as far as shopping goes, but it means everything to our family as far as attic organization goes.
This year, we got to (happily, with a smile on) organize 3 households of Christmas decorations into one and hoist color-coordinated boxes up and down the attic ladder for something around 6 hours. All the sibs were outside, sweating to death, packing Thanksgiving décor into orange boxes and trying to figure out how many wreaths one family could possibly own. The answer would baffle your mind. I’d say we have over 20 Christmas wreaths. Maybe 30. Not to mention, more “Snow Village” figurines than any gift shop in this town.
We were determined to tear down the Thanksgiving/Fall décor, and re-decorate for Christmas over the course of one 12-hour day. We did not accomplish said feat. Not even remotely close. It took us 3 days of blood, sweat and tears. We banished Carson and Roman to the roof for stringing lights, while Kaleb, Brit and I were cussing at lighted Christmas trees because nothing, I repeat NOTHING can make us blackout rage more than the light-up Christmas trees in the “DO NOT DESTROY” trash bags. Extension cord mania, and about 12 blown fuses later, we lit that house like fireworks on the Fourth of July.
Brittney and I put garland and ornaments around the front door frame and wrapped the banisters with greenery and twinkle lights. When I say “we” I mean that I did all that, and she just got stuff out of boxes while looking at me like “our family has lost their damn mind” the whole time. I think she might have even vocalized that once or twice. Trudy and Mom were organizing maniacs and if you were to have walked into our garage on Saturday morning you would have thought we were having a holiday themed Garage Sale. They designed a holiday house display that looks as if it were in a Better Homes and Garden Magazine. And so one minute we had pumpkins gracing our mantle, and then…a mere 72 hours later, we have got a reindeer up there with jingle bells hanging from his antlers. Mission Accomplished? Absolutely.
Amongst everything already mentioned, we planted real Christmas trees for the sake of their smell and played Justin Bieber’s Christmas album along with the Folk Angel Christmas CD and Silent Night on Piano. We blared the music as loud as we could and we set up the tree. We loaded that thing down with ornaments and bows and lights and beads. We put up wooden mooses (I know its grammatically incorrect and I don’t care) with Christmas sweaters and busted out the Holiday dishes. We hung wreaths on every window and door and we put out all the Christmas pillows. We switched all the candles to Christmas scents and put red and green dog collars on our ridiculous amount of pups.
And by golly, we did it using sarcasm! Because otherwise we would have all needed counseling. We decked the halls with boughs of holly like you have never seen before. We giggled and wrestled and made fun of ourselves for having so much C.R.A.P. One time I got stuck between a box and the attic and was stranded mid-way up the latter but couldn’t stop laughing long enough to un-wedge myself. We laughed at how horrible one of the light-up trees looked and nobody volunteered to fix it. We laughed at whatever the hell we were wearing which in my case involved tall socks on top of leggings like an idiot. We laughed at how many dogs were nipping at our heels. We laughed and laughed and laughed and we were thankful. And sarcastic as hell.
Some of my favorite displays of humor included, but are not limited to the following list:
1. Carson’s impression of Brian Regan jokes. Specifically the one about Animal Sounds, like dogs saying bow wow. Could. Not. Pull. It. Together.
2. Being literal. A surefire way to drive people (READ: me) absolutely insane is to respond to well-known expressions as literally as possible. It’s hilarious and infuriating. For example, if someone is commiserating with you and says, “Join the club!” respond by asking about their annual membership fees. Or if someone is agreeing with something you commented briefly about by saying, “Tell me about it!” look them squarely in the eye and say, “I just did.” Roman and Carson are champions at this and it gets me every time.
3. Using “I know you are but what am I” as my one and only comeback for everything. I never did this, but I think it would be awesome. Add that to the to-do list for Christmas break.
4. Making fun of any person who seemed to be doing less work than the rest of us during the decoration commemoration of 2011.
5. Over emphasizing our Texan Accents, and speaking ONLY in movie quotes, which we did an amazing job of on Friday night during dinner because all of the guests that we had over were absolutely silent as they had no idea what we were talking about for the majority of the night. Inside jokes make the people inside feel like a million bucks and the people outside feel like idiots.
But humor is humor and sarcasm is sarcasm and if you don’t understand that, then I will probably never marry you. But that’s neither here nor there and regardless, I am thankful for sarcasm and humor and laughter and all that comes with it. And to legitimize this whole argument I could talk for another hour about how funny God is, especially in my life. I mean, the whole humor thing was his idea in the first place.
November 27: Man’s Best Friend
Remember that movie “All Dogs Go To Heaven”? Please note that all cats do not go to heaven, because cats are selfish and arrogant and deceitful and Jesus doesn’t like any of those character qualities. I love dogs. Or, better, I love the idea of dogs. I love the idea of wrestling a huge, slobbery dog and sleeping beside him and going on runs with him. I love big dogs. But as Megan so lovingly pointed out, I really would prefer that said dog did not smell like a dog or cost me money or pee in the house.
As it stands, my family is a bunch of dog hoarders. It was one thing when we lived in separate homes, but throughout the past few years, our entire family lives in one little house and we have 5 weenie dogs. And a bulldog is living with us while my aunt is too sick to take care of him. So, make that 6 dogs. Animal hoarding at its finest. The dachshund pups are named: 1.) Oreo 2.) Skittles 3.) Kinsler (After Ian Kinsler of the Texas Rangers) 4.) Kipp and 5.) Tucker. And although small dogs usually infuriate me, I can’t help but love these little guys. Kipp and Kinsler cuddled with me all night last night while watching a movie, and Kinsler has velvet ears making him my favorite to snuggle.
I have always kind of been against having 5 weenie dogs for pets. But sometimes you don’t choose the gift, the gift chooses you. And like we already established: God is funny that way.
After much deliberation I have decided that weenie dogs are not so bad. They aren’t Huskies, Labradors, Mastiffs or Golden Retreivers but they love our family more than life itself. And they know when we are sad and act accordingly. And they are fun. And sometimes dare I say, even cute. They bring us a ton of joy and a ton of messes to clean up, and we don’t even mind, as long as I am not primarily in charge of cleaning up.
So thanks God, for blessing our family with 5 little companions whose bodies are too long and legs are too short. We really do love them dearly. Even Skittles, our massively overweight weenie pup whose head is at least 8x too small for her blimp like body.
Friday, November 25, 2011
Thankful Day 24 & 25
November 24: Sweet Potato Casserole (SPC)
I am going to be completely honest with you. The sweet potato (pronounced "patayta") casserole (SPC) is an understudy to the best Thanksgiving dish ever. The best Thanksgiving dish ever is obviously pumpkin cheesecake…a thousand times over. But thanks (but no thanks) to the lactose intolerance that I have recently acquired; pumpkin cheesecake has the tendency to make me puke. And nothing is worse than puking on Thanksgiving. And so unfortunately I have to pull a “don’t mind if I don’t” on the dairy products and a “don’t mind if I do” on 4-5 helpings of sweet potato casserole (SPC).
Lucky for me, my grandmother can cook better than yours and she made the best SPC I have ever tasted in my life - full of brown sugar and pecans and I gained at least a pound just from that casserole alone. (Hips don’t lie.) I demand orange food at Thanksgiving and pumpkin is my favorite flavor of all. (I seriously like pumpkin anything, and even if I don’t, I can trick myself into thinking I do. I am a master of trickery.) Sweet potatoes come in at a close second. I love orange food like I love autumn and Grandmommy hit this one out of the park.
Speaking of orange, the Texas A&M / Texas game is played every year on Thanksgiving and it’s always the most anticipated game of the season for the Aggies. God knows we are obsessed with beating UT, which is usually rare, but we actually have a decently balanced W-L record over the last few years. This year, the Longhorns beat us by a devastating one point in the last few seconds of the game. I have to give Case McCoy credit though, because that kid has heart and he absolutely won that game for them. Well Case, and their very reliable kicker. What is more devastating, though, is that from now on, there will be no more maroon / orange rivalry. No more Lone Star Showdown. It’s the worst idea A&M has had…ever. I mean did y’all watch LSU play Arkansas? They could beat half the teams in the NFL. We are going to be the SEC’s JV team. And moreover…I guess we should think about changing our fight song since like 3 stanzas reference the University of Texas. TRAGIC!
But as far as Thanksgiving dinner goes, I am so very very very thankful for Grandmommy’s sweet potato casserole.
Here are some pics of the Brown-Rice family in Aggie football mode. This is my favorite place to watch football games, and my favorite people to be with:
God love 'em.
November 25: Verbal Processing
I am typing this to you at 30,000ft or something so I cannot be held responsible for any and all idiocy henceforth. I am tapping out on taking responsibility. I have had a lot of sugar and minimal sleep, so lay off. And to the kind overweight sir beside me: you are breathing on my neck while sleeping and as peaceful as you may look, that’s just simply not going to fly (no pun intended). I am about to stick my empty cup into your mouth to plug it up. Please do not take this action personally because I am doing you a favor. So you’re welcome, or I’m sorry. Or both.
With that being said, let’s continue. Some days I feel like my thoughts are a pre-school classroom. There’s paste and glue everywhere and its snack time and the kids are pulling each other’s hair and screaming at the top of their lungs and the shy kid just wet himself. Do you know what I mean?
Those days I feel as though clarity is hiding behind my windshield in a snowstorm and my driver’s side windshield wiper is broken on the driver’s side and the defroster is being unbelievably slow. And to make matters worse, Hoobastank just came on the radio and my fingers are too frozen to change it.
(Honestly…can you imagine better analogies?)
But then…like a light through the cloud: Enter God who is stable who constantly asks me to trust him in my chaos. Enter the faith to believe that God has all things under control and that He loves me. Enter glimpses of rationality. Enter verbal processing. And subsequently, enter close friend or family member to listen and respond.
I have a chronic need to verbalize because like I have said a million times: I am a geyser of emotions. What can I say? I love to emote.
So I talk about it. To God. To Brit. To you. To anyone that knows me and will listen. The verbal processing, it saves me. And I am learning (SLOWLY) to hand things over to God. And then hand them over to Him again later on because let’s be honest, as soon as I feel peace about it, one of the 3yr olds takes his pants off and runs down the hallway.
And the chaos begins again. So I am thankful for people to listen, or in your case – read as I process through this perfectly crazy life that God has so graciously blessed me with.
I am going to be completely honest with you. The sweet potato (pronounced "patayta") casserole (SPC) is an understudy to the best Thanksgiving dish ever. The best Thanksgiving dish ever is obviously pumpkin cheesecake…a thousand times over. But thanks (but no thanks) to the lactose intolerance that I have recently acquired; pumpkin cheesecake has the tendency to make me puke. And nothing is worse than puking on Thanksgiving. And so unfortunately I have to pull a “don’t mind if I don’t” on the dairy products and a “don’t mind if I do” on 4-5 helpings of sweet potato casserole (SPC).
Lucky for me, my grandmother can cook better than yours and she made the best SPC I have ever tasted in my life - full of brown sugar and pecans and I gained at least a pound just from that casserole alone. (Hips don’t lie.) I demand orange food at Thanksgiving and pumpkin is my favorite flavor of all. (I seriously like pumpkin anything, and even if I don’t, I can trick myself into thinking I do. I am a master of trickery.) Sweet potatoes come in at a close second. I love orange food like I love autumn and Grandmommy hit this one out of the park.
Speaking of orange, the Texas A&M / Texas game is played every year on Thanksgiving and it’s always the most anticipated game of the season for the Aggies. God knows we are obsessed with beating UT, which is usually rare, but we actually have a decently balanced W-L record over the last few years. This year, the Longhorns beat us by a devastating one point in the last few seconds of the game. I have to give Case McCoy credit though, because that kid has heart and he absolutely won that game for them. Well Case, and their very reliable kicker. What is more devastating, though, is that from now on, there will be no more maroon / orange rivalry. No more Lone Star Showdown. It’s the worst idea A&M has had…ever. I mean did y’all watch LSU play Arkansas? They could beat half the teams in the NFL. We are going to be the SEC’s JV team. And moreover…I guess we should think about changing our fight song since like 3 stanzas reference the University of Texas. TRAGIC!
But as far as Thanksgiving dinner goes, I am so very very very thankful for Grandmommy’s sweet potato casserole.
Here are some pics of the Brown-Rice family in Aggie football mode. This is my favorite place to watch football games, and my favorite people to be with:
God love 'em.
November 25: Verbal Processing
I am typing this to you at 30,000ft or something so I cannot be held responsible for any and all idiocy henceforth. I am tapping out on taking responsibility. I have had a lot of sugar and minimal sleep, so lay off. And to the kind overweight sir beside me: you are breathing on my neck while sleeping and as peaceful as you may look, that’s just simply not going to fly (no pun intended). I am about to stick my empty cup into your mouth to plug it up. Please do not take this action personally because I am doing you a favor. So you’re welcome, or I’m sorry. Or both.
With that being said, let’s continue. Some days I feel like my thoughts are a pre-school classroom. There’s paste and glue everywhere and its snack time and the kids are pulling each other’s hair and screaming at the top of their lungs and the shy kid just wet himself. Do you know what I mean?
Those days I feel as though clarity is hiding behind my windshield in a snowstorm and my driver’s side windshield wiper is broken on the driver’s side and the defroster is being unbelievably slow. And to make matters worse, Hoobastank just came on the radio and my fingers are too frozen to change it.
(Honestly…can you imagine better analogies?)
But then…like a light through the cloud: Enter God who is stable who constantly asks me to trust him in my chaos. Enter the faith to believe that God has all things under control and that He loves me. Enter glimpses of rationality. Enter verbal processing. And subsequently, enter close friend or family member to listen and respond.
I have a chronic need to verbalize because like I have said a million times: I am a geyser of emotions. What can I say? I love to emote.
So I talk about it. To God. To Brit. To you. To anyone that knows me and will listen. The verbal processing, it saves me. And I am learning (SLOWLY) to hand things over to God. And then hand them over to Him again later on because let’s be honest, as soon as I feel peace about it, one of the 3yr olds takes his pants off and runs down the hallway.
And the chaos begins again. So I am thankful for people to listen, or in your case – read as I process through this perfectly crazy life that God has so graciously blessed me with.
Wednesday, November 23, 2011
Thankful Day 23
I have spent the last week in the Lone Star State with family, and therefore have fallen extremely behind on my Thankful Thirty blog series. My sincerest apologies to you faithful readers. In order to catch up, these few thankful blogs are going to be a little shorter than usual. Thanks for loving me through it. Y’all are just absolute dolls.
November 23: Carry-On Luggage
Yes and AMEN for carry-ons. You better believe that I am the girl who straps like as many bags as I can onto my body, ties bags together and stuffs an inordinate amount of things into a very small space in order to get out of checking a bag. Checking your bags is ASKING for your trip to end in catastrophe. I like to tell myself that I am an under-packer but that is far from the truth. Especially when I had to fit not only the normal visit home items in my carry-on luggage, but also a bear blanket, loin cloth and all of the things I needed for the Brown-Rice Family Thanksgiving Extravaganza complete with Pilgrim and Indian costumes (as pictured here):
God knows the Brown-Rices all needed a little break from reality and I am just the person to give it to us! We had a Pilgrims vs. Indians party and Grandmommy was the big old (cute as hell) turkey - obviously because she is the most important part that brings all of us together. She was the greatest turkey you have ever seen and at one point was laughing too hard to hold her orange construction paper beak in her mouth. She was such a sport and we laughed until our stomachs hurt at her tail feathers. Kaleb was also a riot with his suicidal pilgrim class act. We thought it was funnier for no one to smile because that’s how old-timey pictures looked. He played a very convincing role, and any activity that allows my clone of a broskie, Carson, to go shirtless is A-OKAY with him. He made an adorable Indian chief and it ended up being the greatest idea I have had since moving to Colorado.
Anyways back to being thankful for carry-ons. I love to get off the plane and mock the people waiting on checked baggage. I laugh at them in their waiting game misery of hoping their bag comes spinning around that moving tram. I laugh mostly because in previous flights, (when I naively checked my bags) mine never came through. It’s like they put a special, different colored bagtag on it that says “This bag doesn’t really need to go to the right place. Just throw it in a pile and hope for the best.” Seriously though, checked bags are for morons and I love living life in the fast lane with my roller bag and backpack. (And purse, and pillow, and blanket, etc.) I was out of the airport at DFW before those other plane riders even knew what hit ‘em.
So in the spirit of mile-long holiday security lines and randomly selected passenger pat downs and inevitable lack of overhead space, I am thankful for carry-on luggage.
November 23: Carry-On Luggage
Yes and AMEN for carry-ons. You better believe that I am the girl who straps like as many bags as I can onto my body, ties bags together and stuffs an inordinate amount of things into a very small space in order to get out of checking a bag. Checking your bags is ASKING for your trip to end in catastrophe. I like to tell myself that I am an under-packer but that is far from the truth. Especially when I had to fit not only the normal visit home items in my carry-on luggage, but also a bear blanket, loin cloth and all of the things I needed for the Brown-Rice Family Thanksgiving Extravaganza complete with Pilgrim and Indian costumes (as pictured here):
Anyways back to being thankful for carry-ons. I love to get off the plane and mock the people waiting on checked baggage. I laugh at them in their waiting game misery of hoping their bag comes spinning around that moving tram. I laugh mostly because in previous flights, (when I naively checked my bags) mine never came through. It’s like they put a special, different colored bagtag on it that says “This bag doesn’t really need to go to the right place. Just throw it in a pile and hope for the best.” Seriously though, checked bags are for morons and I love living life in the fast lane with my roller bag and backpack. (And purse, and pillow, and blanket, etc.) I was out of the airport at DFW before those other plane riders even knew what hit ‘em.
So in the spirit of mile-long holiday security lines and randomly selected passenger pat downs and inevitable lack of overhead space, I am thankful for carry-on luggage.
Tuesday, November 22, 2011
Thankful Day 21 & 22
November 21: Make-up
Because God knows I need it.
And Edwin, the guy who sits next to me at work, also knows that I need it because he just asked me if I was sick. Which I am not. I am just wearing what could be considered pajamas to work and I have no make-up on. Why? Because it’s my life and I do what I want. Also because I left my make-up in Behnke’s car. More emphasis on not having access to my make-up. Usually I am totes profesh like 24-7. (I am highly regretting the use of that abbreviation.) And color me pissed when I realized I didn’t have it this morning.
Some would say that I am the type of person who does not like to wear make-up. Others, that are closest to me, would strongly agree. I hate it. Now, I would LOVE make-up if its application was something easy and less time consuming. Like for example, if you could take a gummy vitamin and be make-up ready….I mean, I think that’s something I could get behind.
But as it stands, it is too much dang effort, but man it does wonders for my face and complexion. Doesn’t it!? I mean despite the fact that I am pleasant as hell, sometimes I need to look presentable and a little make-up can radically transform my pale winter skin into lush bronze with pink cheeks. And obviously concealer is my best friend, seeing that for some reason, my low-life-middle-schooler hormones are still blessing me with acne breakouts on a weekly basis.
Anyways so I am rocking the natural look today, and rocking it well. And I don’t hate it, because despite the fact that I look like am battling mono, I know that God made me beautiful on the inside. Sign me up to design Hallmark cards with gems like that. And thank the good Lord for make-up so that I don’t look jank-as-hell all the time. Only most of the time.
November 22: The “Girl" Card
Okay, honestly there are many things that I would change about being of the female gender. But despite its downfalls, there are also things that I love about girly-hood, one of which is being able to throw the “girl card”. Anytime. Anywhere. So today, I am choosing to be thankful about being a girl.
Let’s go over some examples of when it would be appropriate to throw the girl card:
1. Unprecedented and Unforgivable Giddy-ness:
Scene: Having a crush. When was the last time you had a crush on somebody?? Isn’t a crush the most innocent, lovesick thing you can possibly partake in? Its precious I tell you! Every girl responds to a crush in the same way with this childlike sense of excitement and wonder and giddyness…and obviously anxiety. Seriously, you can be 65 and wrinkly and still feel a smile develop when you’re listening to “I Wanna Hold Your Hand” because you get it and it gets you. (I don’t know this from personal experience, but my grandmother definitely still smiles every time she hears Conway Twitty play my grandfather’s favorite song. She also will tell the story of how they met (while she was jumping rope on the playground) to anyone willing to listen. Isn’t that just darling!!?)
Let’s be honest, there are very few things in life that can make me skip down the road and twirl around and giggle incessantly and smile relentlessly. And let me tell you, that kind of crap is beyond my control. Having a crush on a cute adventurous boy who loves Jesus with reckless abandon is one of those things. Cue: giddy/moronic behavior. And if anyone says: “you are acting like an idiot” then I will look in my wallet, find my girl card and throw it in their face and shriek: “I don’t care! I am a GIRL!” And then giggle louder.
2. Daydreaming unrealistically:
I especially appreciate anything that allows me to run wild with my imagination. THAT is what girls are known for! It’s our God given RIGHT to do things like plan our wedding before knowing our future spouse’s last name. Or plan a trip around the world and tell people that we are going long before we have ever considered that it could/might cost money. And I like it that way, damnit! Screw being rational! I like the big ideas and the not knowing and creating a pretty picture in my head of some boy and I having picnics, kissing under streetlights, making dinner together and slow dancing in the living room…or a more likely case—watching a football game wearing fuzzy socks and drinking a holiday beer. And then road tripping in a VW van all over the world. So much possibility lies in my imagination.
Imagination actually represents possibility, endless possibilities of change and happiness and success and romance and happily ever afters. Sometimes daydreams just serve as avenues to make me feel alive and happier and silly and to be the highlight of my day. Whatever the case, GIRL CARD, you can’t judge me.
3. Rationalizing and excusing anything I do wrong based on being “hormonal”:
There is not a week in the month that I cannot write off my craziness on being hormonal. Not a single week. And when I am being unforgivably ridiculous, I can just say “Look, I think I am hormonal (READ: girl card)” and that is your cue to nod your head in silent understanding. And back the hell off. And that is my cue to deny responsibility for any and all of my actions. Some things that I can write off by throwing the girl card include: binge eating, crying, maniacal laughter, rollercoaster emotions, bitch-mode, dressing like a homeless person (although I do this all the time), double desserts, acne, being late to anything, not responding to your texts, or any mistake I make EVER..etc.
So maybe I have had Ingrid Michaelson on repeat for too long now, or maybe today I just like being how God created me. But it’s probably the Ingrid Michaelson disease because she is always singing about being “breakable, breakable, breakable girls” who can have their fragile hearts broken easily seeing that the only thing protecting them is a cage of rib bones. And about girls’ being galleries of broken hearts who just want to know that they will be okay. And about being in love with some boy who is cute and funny and getting rich and buying our parents’ homes in the south of France, and buying everybody nice sweaters and teaching them how to dance, and building a house on the mountain making everybody look like ants. And dad gum it, she swirls you up into a fairytale where being a girl is the best thing ever.
So I am thankful, despite all of the idiocy that comes with being a girl that I have a “get-out-of-jail-free” card that I can throw anytime. And honestly, I think being a girl is fun. I think God made girls fun and funny and sometimes cute and fragile and fierce and crazy and loving and motherly (some more than others) and special and perfectly equipped for the life that He has written for us. And so I am so very thankful to a God who is so very creative.
Because God knows I need it.
And Edwin, the guy who sits next to me at work, also knows that I need it because he just asked me if I was sick. Which I am not. I am just wearing what could be considered pajamas to work and I have no make-up on. Why? Because it’s my life and I do what I want. Also because I left my make-up in Behnke’s car. More emphasis on not having access to my make-up. Usually I am totes profesh like 24-7. (I am highly regretting the use of that abbreviation.) And color me pissed when I realized I didn’t have it this morning.
Some would say that I am the type of person who does not like to wear make-up. Others, that are closest to me, would strongly agree. I hate it. Now, I would LOVE make-up if its application was something easy and less time consuming. Like for example, if you could take a gummy vitamin and be make-up ready….I mean, I think that’s something I could get behind.
But as it stands, it is too much dang effort, but man it does wonders for my face and complexion. Doesn’t it!? I mean despite the fact that I am pleasant as hell, sometimes I need to look presentable and a little make-up can radically transform my pale winter skin into lush bronze with pink cheeks. And obviously concealer is my best friend, seeing that for some reason, my low-life-middle-schooler hormones are still blessing me with acne breakouts on a weekly basis.
Anyways so I am rocking the natural look today, and rocking it well. And I don’t hate it, because despite the fact that I look like am battling mono, I know that God made me beautiful on the inside. Sign me up to design Hallmark cards with gems like that. And thank the good Lord for make-up so that I don’t look jank-as-hell all the time. Only most of the time.
November 22: The “Girl" Card
Okay, honestly there are many things that I would change about being of the female gender. But despite its downfalls, there are also things that I love about girly-hood, one of which is being able to throw the “girl card”. Anytime. Anywhere. So today, I am choosing to be thankful about being a girl.
Let’s go over some examples of when it would be appropriate to throw the girl card:
1. Unprecedented and Unforgivable Giddy-ness:
Scene: Having a crush. When was the last time you had a crush on somebody?? Isn’t a crush the most innocent, lovesick thing you can possibly partake in? Its precious I tell you! Every girl responds to a crush in the same way with this childlike sense of excitement and wonder and giddyness…and obviously anxiety. Seriously, you can be 65 and wrinkly and still feel a smile develop when you’re listening to “I Wanna Hold Your Hand” because you get it and it gets you. (I don’t know this from personal experience, but my grandmother definitely still smiles every time she hears Conway Twitty play my grandfather’s favorite song. She also will tell the story of how they met (while she was jumping rope on the playground) to anyone willing to listen. Isn’t that just darling!!?)
Let’s be honest, there are very few things in life that can make me skip down the road and twirl around and giggle incessantly and smile relentlessly. And let me tell you, that kind of crap is beyond my control. Having a crush on a cute adventurous boy who loves Jesus with reckless abandon is one of those things. Cue: giddy/moronic behavior. And if anyone says: “you are acting like an idiot” then I will look in my wallet, find my girl card and throw it in their face and shriek: “I don’t care! I am a GIRL!” And then giggle louder.
2. Daydreaming unrealistically:
I especially appreciate anything that allows me to run wild with my imagination. THAT is what girls are known for! It’s our God given RIGHT to do things like plan our wedding before knowing our future spouse’s last name. Or plan a trip around the world and tell people that we are going long before we have ever considered that it could/might cost money. And I like it that way, damnit! Screw being rational! I like the big ideas and the not knowing and creating a pretty picture in my head of some boy and I having picnics, kissing under streetlights, making dinner together and slow dancing in the living room…or a more likely case—watching a football game wearing fuzzy socks and drinking a holiday beer. And then road tripping in a VW van all over the world. So much possibility lies in my imagination.
Imagination actually represents possibility, endless possibilities of change and happiness and success and romance and happily ever afters. Sometimes daydreams just serve as avenues to make me feel alive and happier and silly and to be the highlight of my day. Whatever the case, GIRL CARD, you can’t judge me.
3. Rationalizing and excusing anything I do wrong based on being “hormonal”:
There is not a week in the month that I cannot write off my craziness on being hormonal. Not a single week. And when I am being unforgivably ridiculous, I can just say “Look, I think I am hormonal (READ: girl card)” and that is your cue to nod your head in silent understanding. And back the hell off. And that is my cue to deny responsibility for any and all of my actions. Some things that I can write off by throwing the girl card include: binge eating, crying, maniacal laughter, rollercoaster emotions, bitch-mode, dressing like a homeless person (although I do this all the time), double desserts, acne, being late to anything, not responding to your texts, or any mistake I make EVER..etc.
So maybe I have had Ingrid Michaelson on repeat for too long now, or maybe today I just like being how God created me. But it’s probably the Ingrid Michaelson disease because she is always singing about being “breakable, breakable, breakable girls” who can have their fragile hearts broken easily seeing that the only thing protecting them is a cage of rib bones. And about girls’ being galleries of broken hearts who just want to know that they will be okay. And about being in love with some boy who is cute and funny and getting rich and buying our parents’ homes in the south of France, and buying everybody nice sweaters and teaching them how to dance, and building a house on the mountain making everybody look like ants. And dad gum it, she swirls you up into a fairytale where being a girl is the best thing ever.
So I am thankful, despite all of the idiocy that comes with being a girl that I have a “get-out-of-jail-free” card that I can throw anytime. And honestly, I think being a girl is fun. I think God made girls fun and funny and sometimes cute and fragile and fierce and crazy and loving and motherly (some more than others) and special and perfectly equipped for the life that He has written for us. And so I am so very thankful to a God who is so very creative.
Monday, November 21, 2011
Thankful Day 19 & 20
November 19: Modern Day Medicine
Thank you God for Advil, Ibuprofen, Tylenol, Acetaminophen, and all things (legal) painkillers. I say this with the utmost seriousness as I would need them desperately on November 19. Saturday came, and as per our weekly weekend schedule, we woke up before the sun and packed the car for the mountains. 5 girls and 5 pairs of equipment later, with Lindsay Behnke squished between two snowboards in a seat made for a toddler, we were off!
Snowboarding lasted for 8 hours and for some reason I had more confidence than usual and decided that Saturday was the day to start training for the x-games. Karla showed me a little jump that she thought would serve as a good “beginner trick-park.” After pumping myself up with music and staring down the jump for approximately 12 minutes, I pointed my board towards it and jumped. I landed in the snowbank on my face laughing. So off came the board, and I hiked back up the mountain to try again. The second attempt I landed on my butt and slid down the mountain. The third time really is a charm because I jumped, picked my feet up and landed back on them on the other side, shrieking with joy. Seriously, a child fell down beside me because I screamed so loud. Sorry, small child, but I just landed a jump! From that point, I was on a high for the next hour or two. I was chatty Cathy about it and was laughing incessantly and did probably one or a hundred too many fist pumps and/or high fives.
I should have called it a day after that. But “should have” is a going theme in my life, so why screw that up now!? The rest of the day I jumped prolly 4 more times, and I only landed on my feet one other time. So it goes with learning. However, as bad as the wipe-outs were, the worst one came much, much later in the night on an icy driveway wearing UGGS which, by the way, have zero traction. $150 and they couldn’t afford some traction? Anyways, I was running down the sloped drive at the boys’ cabin trying to get to my car and slipped, feet in the air landed flat on my back. Thank God no one saw it because it was maybe the most un-graceful fall of my life, which is saying something because I am the least graceful person I know. I got up quickly only because the ice was cold, and moaned in pain.
That was the final straw. I needed drugs. Immediately. And praise the Lord, we live in America and I have access to any type of drug I want. I spent a lot of time in the hot tub after that and popped pills like an addict, hoping to rid myself of a migraine and full body aches. To no avail, I might add, because it’s Monday afternoon and the migraine is still pursuing. Maybe I have a concussion? It’s likely. Worth it? Absolutely.
So on Saturday, and on Sunday and Monday and let’s be honest, probably Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday – I am very thankful for modern day medicine. Because let’s be honest: all week I am gonna be poppin’ pills, takin’ names, and kickin’ ass trying to get rid of the monster headache of self-inflicted pain.
November 20: Naps
I have a love/hate relationship with naps. On the one hand, they are the most glorious things one can do on a cold and/or rainy Sunday afternoon. On the other hand, they make you more tired than you were when you began said nap. Also, naps prevent you from falling asleep at a normal hour later that night… (leaving you no choice but to look through a countless number of Pinterest pages). But don’t get me wrong, I am THANKFUL for them.
Things that I should have done with my Sunday afternoon would include, but are not limited to the following list:
1. Cleaned my room, which is starting to go all “Where the Wild Things Are” on me, and I may or may not be one pizza box away from being featured on the MTV hit show, “Hoarders.”
2. Showered. JK! I showered Sunday morning. (miracle)
3. Found new music to listen to at work, but thanks to Matt Huling (SHOUT OUT), I am currently listening to and perfectly content with William Fitzsimmons.
4. Hung out with Bethany before she leaves forever for India and sends me spiraling into a deep dark depression.
5. Worked out. HA! Just made myself laugh with that one.
6. Gone to the SINGLE On the Border restaurant in Denver and combined two of my loves: overeating and chips/salsa.
7. Blogged. But let’s just take some time to acknowledge how great I have been keeping up with the “Thankful” days! I mean, I guess by now I’ve had enough practice. I have been turning words into sentences since like, 1988.
8. Planned my Thanksgiving Day costume.
9. Drank responsibly.
10. Practiced my Beyonce dance moves. Because we all know if ever there was a standard of excellence to compare ourselves to, it’s Beyonce. (And the Lord Jesus Christ. Probably Him first though.)
Anyways, regardless of all of the productivity that I could have, and didn’t accomplish, I instead took the route of down-comforters and feather pillows and fell asleep for the majority of the afternoon. So I accomplished nothing. Ask me if I care, though? (hint: I don’t) This is my life and my goal is to do what I want. It was blissful and amazing and I drooled all over Bethany’s pillow. SURPRISE! And sorry about that!
So for naps, I am thankful!
Thank you God for Advil, Ibuprofen, Tylenol, Acetaminophen, and all things (legal) painkillers. I say this with the utmost seriousness as I would need them desperately on November 19. Saturday came, and as per our weekly weekend schedule, we woke up before the sun and packed the car for the mountains. 5 girls and 5 pairs of equipment later, with Lindsay Behnke squished between two snowboards in a seat made for a toddler, we were off!
Snowboarding lasted for 8 hours and for some reason I had more confidence than usual and decided that Saturday was the day to start training for the x-games. Karla showed me a little jump that she thought would serve as a good “beginner trick-park.” After pumping myself up with music and staring down the jump for approximately 12 minutes, I pointed my board towards it and jumped. I landed in the snowbank on my face laughing. So off came the board, and I hiked back up the mountain to try again. The second attempt I landed on my butt and slid down the mountain. The third time really is a charm because I jumped, picked my feet up and landed back on them on the other side, shrieking with joy. Seriously, a child fell down beside me because I screamed so loud. Sorry, small child, but I just landed a jump! From that point, I was on a high for the next hour or two. I was chatty Cathy about it and was laughing incessantly and did probably one or a hundred too many fist pumps and/or high fives.
I should have called it a day after that. But “should have” is a going theme in my life, so why screw that up now!? The rest of the day I jumped prolly 4 more times, and I only landed on my feet one other time. So it goes with learning. However, as bad as the wipe-outs were, the worst one came much, much later in the night on an icy driveway wearing UGGS which, by the way, have zero traction. $150 and they couldn’t afford some traction? Anyways, I was running down the sloped drive at the boys’ cabin trying to get to my car and slipped, feet in the air landed flat on my back. Thank God no one saw it because it was maybe the most un-graceful fall of my life, which is saying something because I am the least graceful person I know. I got up quickly only because the ice was cold, and moaned in pain.
That was the final straw. I needed drugs. Immediately. And praise the Lord, we live in America and I have access to any type of drug I want. I spent a lot of time in the hot tub after that and popped pills like an addict, hoping to rid myself of a migraine and full body aches. To no avail, I might add, because it’s Monday afternoon and the migraine is still pursuing. Maybe I have a concussion? It’s likely. Worth it? Absolutely.
So on Saturday, and on Sunday and Monday and let’s be honest, probably Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday – I am very thankful for modern day medicine. Because let’s be honest: all week I am gonna be poppin’ pills, takin’ names, and kickin’ ass trying to get rid of the monster headache of self-inflicted pain.
November 20: Naps
I have a love/hate relationship with naps. On the one hand, they are the most glorious things one can do on a cold and/or rainy Sunday afternoon. On the other hand, they make you more tired than you were when you began said nap. Also, naps prevent you from falling asleep at a normal hour later that night… (leaving you no choice but to look through a countless number of Pinterest pages). But don’t get me wrong, I am THANKFUL for them.
Things that I should have done with my Sunday afternoon would include, but are not limited to the following list:
1. Cleaned my room, which is starting to go all “Where the Wild Things Are” on me, and I may or may not be one pizza box away from being featured on the MTV hit show, “Hoarders.”
2. Showered. JK! I showered Sunday morning. (miracle)
3. Found new music to listen to at work, but thanks to Matt Huling (SHOUT OUT), I am currently listening to and perfectly content with William Fitzsimmons.
4. Hung out with Bethany before she leaves forever for India and sends me spiraling into a deep dark depression.
5. Worked out. HA! Just made myself laugh with that one.
6. Gone to the SINGLE On the Border restaurant in Denver and combined two of my loves: overeating and chips/salsa.
7. Blogged. But let’s just take some time to acknowledge how great I have been keeping up with the “Thankful” days! I mean, I guess by now I’ve had enough practice. I have been turning words into sentences since like, 1988.
8. Planned my Thanksgiving Day costume.
9. Drank responsibly.
10. Practiced my Beyonce dance moves. Because we all know if ever there was a standard of excellence to compare ourselves to, it’s Beyonce. (And the Lord Jesus Christ. Probably Him first though.)
Anyways, regardless of all of the productivity that I could have, and didn’t accomplish, I instead took the route of down-comforters and feather pillows and fell asleep for the majority of the afternoon. So I accomplished nothing. Ask me if I care, though? (hint: I don’t) This is my life and my goal is to do what I want. It was blissful and amazing and I drooled all over Bethany’s pillow. SURPRISE! And sorry about that!
So for naps, I am thankful!
Friday, November 18, 2011
Thankful Day 17 & 18
November 17: Podcasts
It is possible that I would not be a Christian today without podcasts. Well, God probably would have still gotten me since he chose me before time began, but podcasts have been the avenue by which He used to woo me to Himself - specifically Matt Chandler podcasts because God uses that man in the most powerful way. Matt speaks truth so passionately that it makes me want to be closer to, and know more fully the God that we both serve.
Not to get deep on you, but this is deserving of deep. When I was a sophomore in college, I experienced the most rock bottom low point of my life to date. I was really quite depressed and most of the time confined to my bedroom with a PB&J and a movie or an episode of One Tree Hill. I cried all the time and didn’t really know why. Well I knew why, in a big picture sense, but the littlest thing could completely set me off. Like the time I spilled my sonic drink on my carpet. I screamed bloody murder which turned to sobbing and collapsed into the arms of Becca Feagin who was there through it all. It was very upsetting to be so spectacularly sad, because up until that point I had been very happy-go-lucky with minimal encounters with the sad emotion in general. In fact, the only competing trauma that I had previously experienced was when Bethany Lanier told me I had squirrels for eyebrows in the 6th grade. Have I told y’all that story already? She was absolutely right, and it was absolutely devastating.
Anyways, I still remember the day that Alaina Mueller told me about Matt Chandler podcasts and I kind of shrugged her off and stared blankly out her window. She owned a pet snake named Max Mueller and so I kind of assumed that I could not take her advice seriously. Little did I know that this advice would drastically alter the direction of my life. Some time passed before the day came that I was laying in the fetal position in my floor (rock bottom), and decided to put on the “Heart Matters’ sermon series by MC. I listened to all 6 sermons in a row and just cried and scribbled notes in my journal as fast as I could. I had to pause the sermon multiple times so that I didn’t miss anything.
That entire rest of semester, I listened to podcasts during class, after class, before bed, and when I woke up. I would listen to 3 or 4 sermons a day, and made my way through every sermon from like 2001 to 2008. It was the only thing that got me through the days. So I listened to Matt Chandler, and cut down on the PB&J’s. I still cried like, every day, but sometimes I cried happy tears because I realized that the God of the Universe loves me and was with me. I introduced my entire family to podcasting and I like to think it has radically changed each of us. Actually God has radically changed each of us…he just so happened to use podcasts in this instance. But as it stands, here we are today, a bunch of crazy and broken wack-jobs known as the Brown-Rice family, side by side but a million miles away, praising Jesus, the worthy Son of God.
The entire thing is a series of really sweet and awfully painful moments that I pray God will seal in my memory forever. I don’t want to forget how I felt. I don’t want to forget that when EVERYTHING in my life fell to shambles, Jesus was still enough. It was a blessed time of surrender and brokenness that allowed me to experience Christ in a way that I never had before. I believe it was the most loving thing God could have done. And for that I am grateful. And I was different after that. Forever different.
So I know this is very serious and not really funny at all - I am aware, but I cannot and could not be more thankful for podcasting and its eternally weighted impact on my life.
November 18: The Twilight Saga
….To take a drastic turn towards the shallow, we move now to the Twilight Saga. And you know what? I am swallowing a lot of pride posting this post. But I am not ashamed. Today is the day that me and tweenie boppers everywhere have been waiting for for almost a year and a half. Today, Breaking Dawn, Part 1 movie comes out in theatres everywhere. Did I see the trailer on the FIRST DAY it was released? YES. Did I research the little girl who will be playing Reneseme? You mean, Mackenzie Foy? Obviously yes…and she is perfect! Will I be seeing the movie on opening day…as in tonight at 7:00PM?? HECK YES BABY!!!!
This post may or may not be a cry for help. I haven’t always been like this. In fact, when the movie Twilight came out, I scorned my littlest sister Brittney for liking it and then subsequently reading the book. She claimed that she had lost a bet, and that she HAD to read the book as punishment, which was total crap. I laughed and pointed my finger at her and called her names like “idiot” and “sell-out.” And then went on with my day. I mean how good could a movie about vampires and werewolves POSSIBLY be?! I thought she had lost her mind.
Around that time, my clone of a little broskie, Carson (READ: love. of. my. life.) and I went to see the movie. During the previews we made a pinkie promise to not be obsessed with this movie. We made a pact to not act like teenage girls about it, but we WERE curious to know what all of the hype was about.
We watched the movie and the acting was awful, and the lines were cheesy. Can we just talk about the part where Edward says “You better hold on tight, Spider Monkey.” Who the hell didn’t catch that and vocalize how ridiculous it was and OMIT it from the movie? Can I even trust these writers with a line like that?! I left the theatre thinking…what the heck is wrong with America?! Carson and I were both like, “That wasn’t even that good…right!??” And I thought that would be that. Game over.
But NO. Twilight planted a little obsession time bomb in my head that wouldn’t detonate until later that night. Edward Cullen showed up in my dreams, and I couldn’t stop thinking about Bella and Edward’s love story for like 3 days. It crept up on me like a cat, and I was in over my head before I even knew what happened. I started reading the first book with MUCH ridicule (rightfully so) from my littlest sister, and subsequently read the entire saga in less than a week. I was so caught up in the characters that I didn’t sleep, I lived on coffee and adrenaline as I read frantically. I could not put it down. Page after page I drank up the story. I locked myself in a room and read and read and read until I fell asleep and then I would wake up, make coffee, and read again.
After I closed the final book, Breaking Dawn, a part of me died a little. I didn’t really know how to move on from there. What was I supposed to do with my free time now? What happened to the characters?! I mean yes, the story was concluded, but I wanted to know what happened in their everyday lives…forever (vampires never die, so honestly the story can never end). I walked around like a zombie and just moped throughout the house. I was really lost. It was a dark time.
It took me about 2 weeks and a few more times of seeing the movie for me to really get past it. I want to read the books again, but I know that if I read even one page, it will put me out of commission for an entire week, and at age 23 I just don’t have that kind of time.
But today is a good day, and I have been counting down the hours to see part 1 of Breaking Dawn, which will inevitably piss me off as I already know it will be a cliffhanger. And then the producers or whoever the hell is in charge is making us wait ANOTHER FULL YEAR before releasing part 2. WHAT tha WHAT?!!?
So if you were wondering, I am totally Team Edward. But not team Robert Pattinson. I am definitely more of a Taylor Lautner fan…and it doesn’t hurt that he is incapable of wearing a shirt in the movies. But in the books (which are infinitely better than the movies) Edward is every girl’s dream.
Edward swoons over Bella at the faintest whiff of her hair. (This could be described as lust probably, but he is lusting over her blood so that is better right?) She is his own personal drug that he is extremely addicted to. Edward scoops her up and flies FLIES! through the treetops. Edward’s skin turns into diamonds in the sun. He runs, like, realllllly fast. He plays baseball. He can stop trucks with his hand. He constantly protects Bella who has a chronic case of clumsy and getting herself into dangerous situations. Edward has limitless self-control—he can kiss his girlfriend, get all riled up, and then hurl himself back against the wall to flagellate himself for almost losing control. Oh, and that flagellation: Edward. Is. So. Tortured. Just to speak takes a heroic effort of will. His face contorts and words issue forth slowly. Haltingly. With infinite pain. Then, of course, Edward can totally kick butt when his beloved is in danger.
So you put all of those elements together and you have an unattainable ideal that has been indelibly imprinted on the brain of every pre-adolescent and adolescent girl out there. (AND ADULT GIRLS.) Essentially it has doomed American boys everywhere. No matter how good they are, they will never be a 200-year-old adolescent pretty boy with super powers that can read your thoughts.
And so yes, I probably should be “above this” and probably should be embarrassed of my adoration of the Twilight saga, but I am not. I own it. I love it and I don’t care who knows it. So, I am very thankful for Stephanie Meyers who had a dream about vampires and wrote this exceedingly amazing book series! Bethany and I have done a marathon of all the first Twilight movies and we are pumped and ready and equipped with treats for the 7PM showing of Breaking Dawn!
It is possible that I would not be a Christian today without podcasts. Well, God probably would have still gotten me since he chose me before time began, but podcasts have been the avenue by which He used to woo me to Himself - specifically Matt Chandler podcasts because God uses that man in the most powerful way. Matt speaks truth so passionately that it makes me want to be closer to, and know more fully the God that we both serve.
Not to get deep on you, but this is deserving of deep. When I was a sophomore in college, I experienced the most rock bottom low point of my life to date. I was really quite depressed and most of the time confined to my bedroom with a PB&J and a movie or an episode of One Tree Hill. I cried all the time and didn’t really know why. Well I knew why, in a big picture sense, but the littlest thing could completely set me off. Like the time I spilled my sonic drink on my carpet. I screamed bloody murder which turned to sobbing and collapsed into the arms of Becca Feagin who was there through it all. It was very upsetting to be so spectacularly sad, because up until that point I had been very happy-go-lucky with minimal encounters with the sad emotion in general. In fact, the only competing trauma that I had previously experienced was when Bethany Lanier told me I had squirrels for eyebrows in the 6th grade. Have I told y’all that story already? She was absolutely right, and it was absolutely devastating.
Anyways, I still remember the day that Alaina Mueller told me about Matt Chandler podcasts and I kind of shrugged her off and stared blankly out her window. She owned a pet snake named Max Mueller and so I kind of assumed that I could not take her advice seriously. Little did I know that this advice would drastically alter the direction of my life. Some time passed before the day came that I was laying in the fetal position in my floor (rock bottom), and decided to put on the “Heart Matters’ sermon series by MC. I listened to all 6 sermons in a row and just cried and scribbled notes in my journal as fast as I could. I had to pause the sermon multiple times so that I didn’t miss anything.
That entire rest of semester, I listened to podcasts during class, after class, before bed, and when I woke up. I would listen to 3 or 4 sermons a day, and made my way through every sermon from like 2001 to 2008. It was the only thing that got me through the days. So I listened to Matt Chandler, and cut down on the PB&J’s. I still cried like, every day, but sometimes I cried happy tears because I realized that the God of the Universe loves me and was with me. I introduced my entire family to podcasting and I like to think it has radically changed each of us. Actually God has radically changed each of us…he just so happened to use podcasts in this instance. But as it stands, here we are today, a bunch of crazy and broken wack-jobs known as the Brown-Rice family, side by side but a million miles away, praising Jesus, the worthy Son of God.
The entire thing is a series of really sweet and awfully painful moments that I pray God will seal in my memory forever. I don’t want to forget how I felt. I don’t want to forget that when EVERYTHING in my life fell to shambles, Jesus was still enough. It was a blessed time of surrender and brokenness that allowed me to experience Christ in a way that I never had before. I believe it was the most loving thing God could have done. And for that I am grateful. And I was different after that. Forever different.
So I know this is very serious and not really funny at all - I am aware, but I cannot and could not be more thankful for podcasting and its eternally weighted impact on my life.
November 18: The Twilight Saga
….To take a drastic turn towards the shallow, we move now to the Twilight Saga. And you know what? I am swallowing a lot of pride posting this post. But I am not ashamed. Today is the day that me and tweenie boppers everywhere have been waiting for for almost a year and a half. Today, Breaking Dawn, Part 1 movie comes out in theatres everywhere. Did I see the trailer on the FIRST DAY it was released? YES. Did I research the little girl who will be playing Reneseme? You mean, Mackenzie Foy? Obviously yes…and she is perfect! Will I be seeing the movie on opening day…as in tonight at 7:00PM?? HECK YES BABY!!!!
This post may or may not be a cry for help. I haven’t always been like this. In fact, when the movie Twilight came out, I scorned my littlest sister Brittney for liking it and then subsequently reading the book. She claimed that she had lost a bet, and that she HAD to read the book as punishment, which was total crap. I laughed and pointed my finger at her and called her names like “idiot” and “sell-out.” And then went on with my day. I mean how good could a movie about vampires and werewolves POSSIBLY be?! I thought she had lost her mind.
Around that time, my clone of a little broskie, Carson (READ: love. of. my. life.) and I went to see the movie. During the previews we made a pinkie promise to not be obsessed with this movie. We made a pact to not act like teenage girls about it, but we WERE curious to know what all of the hype was about.
We watched the movie and the acting was awful, and the lines were cheesy. Can we just talk about the part where Edward says “You better hold on tight, Spider Monkey.” Who the hell didn’t catch that and vocalize how ridiculous it was and OMIT it from the movie? Can I even trust these writers with a line like that?! I left the theatre thinking…what the heck is wrong with America?! Carson and I were both like, “That wasn’t even that good…right!??” And I thought that would be that. Game over.
But NO. Twilight planted a little obsession time bomb in my head that wouldn’t detonate until later that night. Edward Cullen showed up in my dreams, and I couldn’t stop thinking about Bella and Edward’s love story for like 3 days. It crept up on me like a cat, and I was in over my head before I even knew what happened. I started reading the first book with MUCH ridicule (rightfully so) from my littlest sister, and subsequently read the entire saga in less than a week. I was so caught up in the characters that I didn’t sleep, I lived on coffee and adrenaline as I read frantically. I could not put it down. Page after page I drank up the story. I locked myself in a room and read and read and read until I fell asleep and then I would wake up, make coffee, and read again.
After I closed the final book, Breaking Dawn, a part of me died a little. I didn’t really know how to move on from there. What was I supposed to do with my free time now? What happened to the characters?! I mean yes, the story was concluded, but I wanted to know what happened in their everyday lives…forever (vampires never die, so honestly the story can never end). I walked around like a zombie and just moped throughout the house. I was really lost. It was a dark time.
It took me about 2 weeks and a few more times of seeing the movie for me to really get past it. I want to read the books again, but I know that if I read even one page, it will put me out of commission for an entire week, and at age 23 I just don’t have that kind of time.
But today is a good day, and I have been counting down the hours to see part 1 of Breaking Dawn, which will inevitably piss me off as I already know it will be a cliffhanger. And then the producers or whoever the hell is in charge is making us wait ANOTHER FULL YEAR before releasing part 2. WHAT tha WHAT?!!?
So if you were wondering, I am totally Team Edward. But not team Robert Pattinson. I am definitely more of a Taylor Lautner fan…and it doesn’t hurt that he is incapable of wearing a shirt in the movies. But in the books (which are infinitely better than the movies) Edward is every girl’s dream.
Edward swoons over Bella at the faintest whiff of her hair. (This could be described as lust probably, but he is lusting over her blood so that is better right?) She is his own personal drug that he is extremely addicted to. Edward scoops her up and flies FLIES! through the treetops. Edward’s skin turns into diamonds in the sun. He runs, like, realllllly fast. He plays baseball. He can stop trucks with his hand. He constantly protects Bella who has a chronic case of clumsy and getting herself into dangerous situations. Edward has limitless self-control—he can kiss his girlfriend, get all riled up, and then hurl himself back against the wall to flagellate himself for almost losing control. Oh, and that flagellation: Edward. Is. So. Tortured. Just to speak takes a heroic effort of will. His face contorts and words issue forth slowly. Haltingly. With infinite pain. Then, of course, Edward can totally kick butt when his beloved is in danger.
So you put all of those elements together and you have an unattainable ideal that has been indelibly imprinted on the brain of every pre-adolescent and adolescent girl out there. (AND ADULT GIRLS.) Essentially it has doomed American boys everywhere. No matter how good they are, they will never be a 200-year-old adolescent pretty boy with super powers that can read your thoughts.
And so yes, I probably should be “above this” and probably should be embarrassed of my adoration of the Twilight saga, but I am not. I own it. I love it and I don’t care who knows it. So, I am very thankful for Stephanie Meyers who had a dream about vampires and wrote this exceedingly amazing book series! Bethany and I have done a marathon of all the first Twilight movies and we are pumped and ready and equipped with treats for the 7PM showing of Breaking Dawn!
Wednesday, November 16, 2011
Thankful Day 16
November 16: Scarves
So as you know, I live in Colorado. And Colorado, as I mentioned yesterday, did not get the memo about my extreme dislike of being cold/shivering/freezing. I love the idea of snow, but I think it should be about 50 outside when the snow is falling. That would be preferable to below 20.
Anyways, so yesterday afternoon, I was finishing up for the day at my full time job that I don’t hate, and going over my latest design proposal with my boss who is adorably 5 months pregnant. (Since you were wondering, she is having a baby girl, and I might be more excited than she is.) Our conversation went something like this:
Boss: Well, Ally, this looks good. I think you are getting really close to being finished. (which was weird….I thought I WAS finished…?)
Ally: Thanks. Well, I think I am going to go ahead and head out.
Then she said: “Okay, I won’t be here tomorrow, but I heard it’s supposed to snow so stay warm!”
What I heard was: “Hey, I am not going to be here tomorrow, you should also not come in because it’s going to snow and that’s miserable. Just stay home instead and drink lattes and watch movies all day. PS. You look really skinny today and your hair is amazing.”
So, you can imagine the rage that I felt this morning when I saw little white flakes falling from the sky and realized that I still had to drive to my job. Luckily, it wasn’t a blizzard, but 18 degrees is freakin’ cold regardless of precipitation. This brings me to my point: scarves. THANK GOD FOR THEM.
My fabulous and ridiculously cute Aunt (READ: second mom) Trudy makes AWESOME scarves. So just get ready because I will be shamelessly promoting her online store/blog right when it is up and running - which should be sometime next week. Anyways, she made me a purple infinity scarf that I wear on a daily basis. It is my favorite. It is the warmest scarf that I own and EASILY the cutest. She is very talented, and her life’s story of being “shaken, but not destroyed” is one that will bring you directly to the foot of the cross, facing the Lord that is her strength. She makes all kinds of knitted masterpieces including her latest phenomenon: doggie scarves!! Have I told you our family has FIVE weenie dogs? FIVE. (Animal hoarders) Pictured here are: 1.) Bethany wearing her infinity scarf 2.) Our oldest weenie, Oreo, wearing her new doggie scarf, and 3.) The favored pup, Kipper, wearing his SWEATER!
Anyways scarves are my favorite winter accessory. Easy. I think they are marvelous and adorable. And practical. I think they make every outfit look better, and I plan to wear one every day of the winter season.
So thanks to the ridiculously cold weather that serves as my real life right now, I am beyond thankful for scarves.
So as you know, I live in Colorado. And Colorado, as I mentioned yesterday, did not get the memo about my extreme dislike of being cold/shivering/freezing. I love the idea of snow, but I think it should be about 50 outside when the snow is falling. That would be preferable to below 20.
Anyways, so yesterday afternoon, I was finishing up for the day at my full time job that I don’t hate, and going over my latest design proposal with my boss who is adorably 5 months pregnant. (Since you were wondering, she is having a baby girl, and I might be more excited than she is.) Our conversation went something like this:
Boss: Well, Ally, this looks good. I think you are getting really close to being finished. (which was weird….I thought I WAS finished…?)
Ally: Thanks. Well, I think I am going to go ahead and head out.
Then she said: “Okay, I won’t be here tomorrow, but I heard it’s supposed to snow so stay warm!”
What I heard was: “Hey, I am not going to be here tomorrow, you should also not come in because it’s going to snow and that’s miserable. Just stay home instead and drink lattes and watch movies all day. PS. You look really skinny today and your hair is amazing.”
So, you can imagine the rage that I felt this morning when I saw little white flakes falling from the sky and realized that I still had to drive to my job. Luckily, it wasn’t a blizzard, but 18 degrees is freakin’ cold regardless of precipitation. This brings me to my point: scarves. THANK GOD FOR THEM.
My fabulous and ridiculously cute Aunt (READ: second mom) Trudy makes AWESOME scarves. So just get ready because I will be shamelessly promoting her online store/blog right when it is up and running - which should be sometime next week. Anyways, she made me a purple infinity scarf that I wear on a daily basis. It is my favorite. It is the warmest scarf that I own and EASILY the cutest. She is very talented, and her life’s story of being “shaken, but not destroyed” is one that will bring you directly to the foot of the cross, facing the Lord that is her strength. She makes all kinds of knitted masterpieces including her latest phenomenon: doggie scarves!! Have I told you our family has FIVE weenie dogs? FIVE. (Animal hoarders) Pictured here are: 1.) Bethany wearing her infinity scarf 2.) Our oldest weenie, Oreo, wearing her new doggie scarf, and 3.) The favored pup, Kipper, wearing his SWEATER!
Anyways scarves are my favorite winter accessory. Easy. I think they are marvelous and adorable. And practical. I think they make every outfit look better, and I plan to wear one every day of the winter season.
So thanks to the ridiculously cold weather that serves as my real life right now, I am beyond thankful for scarves.
Tuesday, November 15, 2011
Thankful Day 15
November 15: Christmas Lights
I love me some Christmas lights. I mean LOVE. And for the twinkling version of joy that they bring me, I am forever thankful.
I cannot decorate my house, or put up a Christmas tree until after Thanksgiving. THE DAY AFTER THANKSGIVING to be specific, because Thanksgiving is one of the best holidays, like, ever and it’s a shame that it gets overlooked. Okay YES, I agree that the birth of the Lord Jesus Christ far outweighs it and should be more blatently celebrated, but guys let’s not completely forget about Thanksgiving! I mean yes, its kind of a lot of build up for a binge, but honestly don’t we have so much to be thankful for? Yeah, please pass the stuffing…again.
With that being said, Christmas lights can be put up year around in my book. Those little twinkling miracles make everybody happier, and every place homier, and every emotion sappier. Tree lined streets with Christmas lights make me gasp in awe of their beauty. Pictures of children wrapped in twinkle lights are my favorite type of Christmas card regardless of whether or not that is (probably) dangerous. But who cares!? TIS THE SEASON TO BE JOLLY!
When we were little, my family had multi-colored lights on our house against my dad’s will. He wanted all blue. BLUE!? Are you freaking kidding me? That is the most hideous color of lights you could possibly put on your roof. They are never all the same shade of blue and they end up just looking the worst.
Anyways back to the multi-colored lights, they were precious. And despite my dads cursing at how steep our roof was, they ended up looking magical. We lined the roof and the sidewalk and had light-up deer in our front yard, which would have ended up in sexual positions thanks to the Shady T’s favorite past time – “deering”, had we not lived in the middle of nowhere on a lake like a bad horror movie. The ONE pro to living in the boondocks.
Every year all my broskies and littlest sister create the miracle of lighting that goes on at my g-mom’s house which is now all of our home. She has like 15 lighted Christmas trees, and a full front porch display, and red and white lights all over the house and lining the sidewalks. Outside decoration day is always the only cold day of the winter in Texas, but who cares! Let’s spread some Christmas cheer! However, I ALWAYS inevitably get stuck with getting the light trees out of the trashbags from last year and that is the worst job on the planet because my grandmommy likes to save the bags, which is an hassle if I have ever seen one. Last year Kabe and I vetoed that rule and instead just ripped the bags to shreads and it was liberating and amazing. Not to mention, the job was completed at least 7x faster.
Last year we also witnessed a tiny dog get attacked by a German Shepard which was terrifying and still haunts me…but that is neither here nor there. That’s why people shouldn’t get tiny dogs. It’s a liability. Stick with big ones that wrestle you and slobber a lot.
At the end of the day, our house looks like a post card straight from the North Pole. Santa Claus himself would be impressed and probably reward each of us with a high five. The lights make me happy just to think about them. After the house is sufficiently decorated, our entire family then sits around the fire inside and warms our hands. Because God knows if its below 60 degrees in Texas, it’s time for North Face jackets and UGGS. The cold is our enemy and will not be tolerated. Colorado missed that memo.
But I really do love the lights. I love love love them. If you haven’t put up Christmas lights, you aren’t really living. They are one of the most spectacular things about the holiday season! And I am very thankful.
I love me some Christmas lights. I mean LOVE. And for the twinkling version of joy that they bring me, I am forever thankful.
I cannot decorate my house, or put up a Christmas tree until after Thanksgiving. THE DAY AFTER THANKSGIVING to be specific, because Thanksgiving is one of the best holidays, like, ever and it’s a shame that it gets overlooked. Okay YES, I agree that the birth of the Lord Jesus Christ far outweighs it and should be more blatently celebrated, but guys let’s not completely forget about Thanksgiving! I mean yes, its kind of a lot of build up for a binge, but honestly don’t we have so much to be thankful for? Yeah, please pass the stuffing…again.
With that being said, Christmas lights can be put up year around in my book. Those little twinkling miracles make everybody happier, and every place homier, and every emotion sappier. Tree lined streets with Christmas lights make me gasp in awe of their beauty. Pictures of children wrapped in twinkle lights are my favorite type of Christmas card regardless of whether or not that is (probably) dangerous. But who cares!? TIS THE SEASON TO BE JOLLY!
When we were little, my family had multi-colored lights on our house against my dad’s will. He wanted all blue. BLUE!? Are you freaking kidding me? That is the most hideous color of lights you could possibly put on your roof. They are never all the same shade of blue and they end up just looking the worst.
Anyways back to the multi-colored lights, they were precious. And despite my dads cursing at how steep our roof was, they ended up looking magical. We lined the roof and the sidewalk and had light-up deer in our front yard, which would have ended up in sexual positions thanks to the Shady T’s favorite past time – “deering”, had we not lived in the middle of nowhere on a lake like a bad horror movie. The ONE pro to living in the boondocks.
Every year all my broskies and littlest sister create the miracle of lighting that goes on at my g-mom’s house which is now all of our home. She has like 15 lighted Christmas trees, and a full front porch display, and red and white lights all over the house and lining the sidewalks. Outside decoration day is always the only cold day of the winter in Texas, but who cares! Let’s spread some Christmas cheer! However, I ALWAYS inevitably get stuck with getting the light trees out of the trashbags from last year and that is the worst job on the planet because my grandmommy likes to save the bags, which is an hassle if I have ever seen one. Last year Kabe and I vetoed that rule and instead just ripped the bags to shreads and it was liberating and amazing. Not to mention, the job was completed at least 7x faster.
Last year we also witnessed a tiny dog get attacked by a German Shepard which was terrifying and still haunts me…but that is neither here nor there. That’s why people shouldn’t get tiny dogs. It’s a liability. Stick with big ones that wrestle you and slobber a lot.
At the end of the day, our house looks like a post card straight from the North Pole. Santa Claus himself would be impressed and probably reward each of us with a high five. The lights make me happy just to think about them. After the house is sufficiently decorated, our entire family then sits around the fire inside and warms our hands. Because God knows if its below 60 degrees in Texas, it’s time for North Face jackets and UGGS. The cold is our enemy and will not be tolerated. Colorado missed that memo.
But I really do love the lights. I love love love them. If you haven’t put up Christmas lights, you aren’t really living. They are one of the most spectacular things about the holiday season! And I am very thankful.
Monday, November 14, 2011
Thankful Day 13 & 14
November 13: Sharpie Pens
Sharpie pens are the greatest pens…ever. Whoever created them is a modern day Albert Einstein. They do not smudge, they do not bleed. They slide across paper with the grace of a ballerina. Conclusion: sharpie pens are far superior pens to all others. “*And this is not a statement of opinion; it’s a fact. Any suggestions contrary to that statement will not be entertained. If you disagree, I’m sorry. You have been using an inferior pen for most of your life and are (clearly) confused.” I will pray for you.
As a person who suffers from handwriting mistake phobia, I can tell you that if you are using something other than a sharpie pen, you might be seriously disturbed. Everything looks better in Sharpie pen. Notes, invitations, your name. I cannot even imagine why you would even consider using something different. I DO think that the next invention will be erasable Sharpie pens, but one step at a time people! In the meantime, please dispose of all of the pens that you own if they do not display the world “SHARPIE” down the side.
As for me, whether it’s writing down my schedule for work, or making a to-do list (sometimes adding things I have already done to said list JUST so I can cross it off), creating a bucket list, tattooing my wrist, or taking sermon notes…you can bet your bottom dollar that I will be using a Sharpie pen.
Because I only use elite writing utensils. And because I am a winner. And winners use Sharpies.
*Quoted from my favorite blog on the planet, SCL.
November 14: Photo editing capabilities
Well God and everyone knows this is true. Back in the stone ages, you took a picture and you printed it…that was it. Game over. Yea, you look like crap but there is nothing you can do about it. You MAYBE had the option of doing B&W which always makes you look at least a little better, but otherwise you were pretty much forced to keep hard copy memories of how you actually looked. Zits and all. But NOT ANYMORE! We now have Instagram ( and iPhoto and Photoshop and 500 other ways to make ourselves look better than we actually look. Miracles do happen.
So now, not only can I make myself skinny and tan with stark white teeth, I also can increase the contrast or brighten the picture or change it to “antique settings” just to make it look like it was taken 50 years ago. And I don’t know about you, but I am thankful for that. Because it’s very rare that a photo is captured of me that can stand alone without “touching up”.
In honor of the miracle of photo editing, I will share with you my most recent photo edited adventures:
Sharpie pens are the greatest pens…ever. Whoever created them is a modern day Albert Einstein. They do not smudge, they do not bleed. They slide across paper with the grace of a ballerina. Conclusion: sharpie pens are far superior pens to all others. “*And this is not a statement of opinion; it’s a fact. Any suggestions contrary to that statement will not be entertained. If you disagree, I’m sorry. You have been using an inferior pen for most of your life and are (clearly) confused.” I will pray for you.
As a person who suffers from handwriting mistake phobia, I can tell you that if you are using something other than a sharpie pen, you might be seriously disturbed. Everything looks better in Sharpie pen. Notes, invitations, your name. I cannot even imagine why you would even consider using something different. I DO think that the next invention will be erasable Sharpie pens, but one step at a time people! In the meantime, please dispose of all of the pens that you own if they do not display the world “SHARPIE” down the side.
As for me, whether it’s writing down my schedule for work, or making a to-do list (sometimes adding things I have already done to said list JUST so I can cross it off), creating a bucket list, tattooing my wrist, or taking sermon notes…you can bet your bottom dollar that I will be using a Sharpie pen.
Because I only use elite writing utensils. And because I am a winner. And winners use Sharpies.
*Quoted from my favorite blog on the planet, SCL.
November 14: Photo editing capabilities
Well God and everyone knows this is true. Back in the stone ages, you took a picture and you printed it…that was it. Game over. Yea, you look like crap but there is nothing you can do about it. You MAYBE had the option of doing B&W which always makes you look at least a little better, but otherwise you were pretty much forced to keep hard copy memories of how you actually looked. Zits and all. But NOT ANYMORE! We now have Instagram ( and iPhoto and Photoshop and 500 other ways to make ourselves look better than we actually look. Miracles do happen.
So now, not only can I make myself skinny and tan with stark white teeth, I also can increase the contrast or brighten the picture or change it to “antique settings” just to make it look like it was taken 50 years ago. And I don’t know about you, but I am thankful for that. Because it’s very rare that a photo is captured of me that can stand alone without “touching up”.
In honor of the miracle of photo editing, I will share with you my most recent photo edited adventures:
Saturday, November 12, 2011
Thankful Day 10, 11, & 12
November 10: Groupon
Groupon is the bomb.com. Each morning without fail I receive an opportunity to purchase some sort of discounted item or activity. Yoga. Food. Extreme outdoor adventures. Great right? $35 to go Turtle tubing at Vail!! Thank God, it’s usually like 70 bucks! However, the only thing I have actually ever purchased off of Groupon is a deal to get $20 worth of stuff at Whole Foods for only $10. WHAT. A. BARGAIN! I can’t turn down buying overpriced organic produce. I live in Colorado for crying out loud.
With that being acknowledged, Groupon is also the worst thing ever because I receive daily reminders of everything my life could be and is not. Every day Groupon mocks me with the boundless potential of the world around me.
They send me crap like discounts on tickets to the ballet, gourmet food, and half-off mani-pedis. Its really frustrating because I wake up to these little messages that ridicule me about not having the money or time or the will to do stuff like see the ballet. Even if it is 60% off. Do they even know me at all?! I mean I sometimes derive complete meals off of samples at Costco…so its unlikely that I am going to purchase a yoga subscription which would inevitably lead to my giggling and subsequent blackout rage in a room full of "skinnier and more flexible than me" strangers.
Anyways regardless of the fact that Groupon points their accusational and deeply discounted fingers at me, I am thankful for the money that they offer to save me. Being in your 20's means living like a homeless person and nobody warned me about that prior to my arrival. Did you guys borrow money to go to college? Because college loans are the absolute bane of my existence. All the money I make either goes to the government via taxes (which I blame on Barack Obama regardless of whether or not its his fault), and/or to whoever backed me financially to attend Texas A&M University. I am once again eating Ramen noodles. And I thought I was poor in college! HA. What a joke. At least then I had the mini-kitchen at the theta house to raid at midnight.
But as it stands, I keep my name on the mailing list because as much as Groupon’s messages remind me of who I am not, they do give me a glimpse of the person I could be. Every morning, as I discard an offer for, let’s say, 50% off of an hour of kayaking, I have a brief moment of hope. Maybe someday I can be the girl that spends her weekend paddling gracefully through a river at a discounted rate. Perhaps in the future I will want to spend forty dollars on a spa treatment valued at twice that price. PERHAPS!
But until then, I will be thankful that I can buy fruit like a real Coloradoan at the most overpriced grocery store in America. I will stroll down the color coordinated fruit and veggie aisles like I belong there, grabbing as many dadgum bell peppers as I freaking want!!
(As long as it doesn’t exceed my $20 coupon.)
November 11: Soy Chai Tea Lattes
Okay, you knew it was coming, I knew it was coming. Let's all just agree that this post was a given. I talk about chai tea lattes more than I talk about my relationship status or how much I hate full time jobs.
Soy chai’s represent all that is good in the world. SWEET NECTAR is what they are!! My absolute drink of sugary choice. I could drink a soy chai every day for every meal and never get tired of them. I tried something new the other day at Starbucks and rebuked myself for at least 2.5 hours after making that epic mistake. The only thing that could POSSIBLY substitute for a soy chai is a pumpkin spice latte, but those are only really good for the first two weeks of the season that they are offered and then the “new-toy” euphoria wears off like it’s the week after Christmas and I inevitably go back to what is comfortable.
Honest to God, I cant get enough of them. The Starbucks employees know me and my bank account hates me. I have experimented with making them from home and apparently they put something magical into the ones created in the store because I am unable to re-create their perfection.
True Life: I have an unhealthy relationship with soy chai's and I might need counseling. But in spite of all of those very true truths, I am so thankful for a soy chai at absolutely anytime of the day.
November 12: Sweat Pants
While I am being blatantly obvious, I might as well hit all the things you could see coming from a mile away. So in honor of my favorite article of clothing - which is, as you know, sweat pants - let’s thank God that there is an option of comfort so blissfully perfect as they are.
I have no problem admitting to you that I feel most confident in my sweat pants. I am not above that. I love them. I love them so much that I don’t have adequate words for how much I adore them. I can be out of my work clothes and into my sweatpants before I even get to my car in the parking garage. That’s right, people…sometimes I change into my sweatpants in the bathroom of my place of work so that I can make the drive home most comfortably. Get over it. It happens. And some days by 5PM, I am in a fragile state of mind emotionally and I don’t need the un-comfort of slacks to add anything else to that. Enough is ENOUGH!!!
I have favorite pairs like the blue ones that I stole from Bethany, the Theta sweats from my first year in my sorority, or my ALL TIME FAVORITE – the black and gold Mizzou sweats that were a gift from Savannah when I shattered my face playing intramural sports. (low point)
Seriously though, I could wear those bad boys every day if I wanted to. And there would be nothing you could do about it. Or maybe I should say: ’I would wear those bad boys every day if I could’ because in all actuality my boss would probably fire me if I showed up in sweats. But I think they are especially cute. And I think I look good in some baggy sweatpants. I can rock them like few people that I know. And just you wait - someday I am going to find a real special boy who loves me in spite of those pants. Maybe even because of them. And man oh man, will I love him forever and ever and ever!!!! Lord knows we are already praying for his heart and his dear sweet precious soul. God love (READ: help) him.
Anyways, things could be worse right? Let's be thankful for both the sweat pants and the fact that they are not the worst vice I could have.
Groupon is the bomb.com. Each morning without fail I receive an opportunity to purchase some sort of discounted item or activity. Yoga. Food. Extreme outdoor adventures. Great right? $35 to go Turtle tubing at Vail!! Thank God, it’s usually like 70 bucks! However, the only thing I have actually ever purchased off of Groupon is a deal to get $20 worth of stuff at Whole Foods for only $10. WHAT. A. BARGAIN! I can’t turn down buying overpriced organic produce. I live in Colorado for crying out loud.
With that being acknowledged, Groupon is also the worst thing ever because I receive daily reminders of everything my life could be and is not. Every day Groupon mocks me with the boundless potential of the world around me.
They send me crap like discounts on tickets to the ballet, gourmet food, and half-off mani-pedis. Its really frustrating because I wake up to these little messages that ridicule me about not having the money or time or the will to do stuff like see the ballet. Even if it is 60% off. Do they even know me at all?! I mean I sometimes derive complete meals off of samples at Costco…so its unlikely that I am going to purchase a yoga subscription which would inevitably lead to my giggling and subsequent blackout rage in a room full of "skinnier and more flexible than me" strangers.
Anyways regardless of the fact that Groupon points their accusational and deeply discounted fingers at me, I am thankful for the money that they offer to save me. Being in your 20's means living like a homeless person and nobody warned me about that prior to my arrival. Did you guys borrow money to go to college? Because college loans are the absolute bane of my existence. All the money I make either goes to the government via taxes (which I blame on Barack Obama regardless of whether or not its his fault), and/or to whoever backed me financially to attend Texas A&M University. I am once again eating Ramen noodles. And I thought I was poor in college! HA. What a joke. At least then I had the mini-kitchen at the theta house to raid at midnight.
But as it stands, I keep my name on the mailing list because as much as Groupon’s messages remind me of who I am not, they do give me a glimpse of the person I could be. Every morning, as I discard an offer for, let’s say, 50% off of an hour of kayaking, I have a brief moment of hope. Maybe someday I can be the girl that spends her weekend paddling gracefully through a river at a discounted rate. Perhaps in the future I will want to spend forty dollars on a spa treatment valued at twice that price. PERHAPS!
But until then, I will be thankful that I can buy fruit like a real Coloradoan at the most overpriced grocery store in America. I will stroll down the color coordinated fruit and veggie aisles like I belong there, grabbing as many dadgum bell peppers as I freaking want!!
(As long as it doesn’t exceed my $20 coupon.)
November 11: Soy Chai Tea Lattes
Okay, you knew it was coming, I knew it was coming. Let's all just agree that this post was a given. I talk about chai tea lattes more than I talk about my relationship status or how much I hate full time jobs.
Soy chai’s represent all that is good in the world. SWEET NECTAR is what they are!! My absolute drink of sugary choice. I could drink a soy chai every day for every meal and never get tired of them. I tried something new the other day at Starbucks and rebuked myself for at least 2.5 hours after making that epic mistake. The only thing that could POSSIBLY substitute for a soy chai is a pumpkin spice latte, but those are only really good for the first two weeks of the season that they are offered and then the “new-toy” euphoria wears off like it’s the week after Christmas and I inevitably go back to what is comfortable.
Honest to God, I cant get enough of them. The Starbucks employees know me and my bank account hates me. I have experimented with making them from home and apparently they put something magical into the ones created in the store because I am unable to re-create their perfection.
True Life: I have an unhealthy relationship with soy chai's and I might need counseling. But in spite of all of those very true truths, I am so thankful for a soy chai at absolutely anytime of the day.
November 12: Sweat Pants
While I am being blatantly obvious, I might as well hit all the things you could see coming from a mile away. So in honor of my favorite article of clothing - which is, as you know, sweat pants - let’s thank God that there is an option of comfort so blissfully perfect as they are.
I have no problem admitting to you that I feel most confident in my sweat pants. I am not above that. I love them. I love them so much that I don’t have adequate words for how much I adore them. I can be out of my work clothes and into my sweatpants before I even get to my car in the parking garage. That’s right, people…sometimes I change into my sweatpants in the bathroom of my place of work so that I can make the drive home most comfortably. Get over it. It happens. And some days by 5PM, I am in a fragile state of mind emotionally and I don’t need the un-comfort of slacks to add anything else to that. Enough is ENOUGH!!!
I have favorite pairs like the blue ones that I stole from Bethany, the Theta sweats from my first year in my sorority, or my ALL TIME FAVORITE – the black and gold Mizzou sweats that were a gift from Savannah when I shattered my face playing intramural sports. (low point)
Seriously though, I could wear those bad boys every day if I wanted to. And there would be nothing you could do about it. Or maybe I should say: ’I would wear those bad boys every day if I could’ because in all actuality my boss would probably fire me if I showed up in sweats. But I think they are especially cute. And I think I look good in some baggy sweatpants. I can rock them like few people that I know. And just you wait - someday I am going to find a real special boy who loves me in spite of those pants. Maybe even because of them. And man oh man, will I love him forever and ever and ever!!!! Lord knows we are already praying for his heart and his dear sweet precious soul. God love (READ: help) him.
Anyways, things could be worse right? Let's be thankful for both the sweat pants and the fact that they are not the worst vice I could have.
Thursday, November 10, 2011
Thankful Day 9
November 9: Gchat
I hate to do another technology post but g-chat saved my life on November 9. So therefore I am extremely thankful for it, and for Bethany who made it possible and affirmed me from her office in South Denver. So whatever, technology is a miracle.
This day was a rough day to begin with seeing that my alarm went off about 2 hours earlier than normal. This inevitably lead to eating about 16 helpings of sweet potato casserole at the office lunch and learn, and putting BOTH headphones in my ears so that Bon Iver could help to lower my stress level.
I had two huge deadlines at work on November 9, both of which were impossible to accomplish. So in order to tackle this feat without having a massive breakdown at my workplace, I g-chatted with Bethany about how cruel life/ full time jobs can often be. Am I shallow? Yes. Did being shallow and whining about having too much responsibility make me feel any better? YES. Yes, it did. And lucky for my co-workers and clients, I am a magician/wizard and finished both projects just in time to have an anxiety attack and treat myself to dark chocolate covered almonds while staring blankly at the freshly bound design books as they were being put into FedEx boxes. Then I turned and just walked out. Lorrie had made 3 different desserts when I got home, so needless to say the day just got better after that.
G-chat is the best because it takes you back to the good old days when everyone was on AOL/AIM. Remember that? That was routine…around 7PM, 13 year old me started popping my knuckles and gearing up for a night of conversations with 47 different people simultaneously. Everything I know about multi-tasking came from multiple chats with all my middle school friends and juggling between infinite conversations. The most important of which - the love of my 6th grade heart, Andbeckers - who’s screen name would make a special sound whenever he got online. That’s when I knew it was game time. Let’s do this! Chatroom here I come. I should have just put on some eye black and blared “Eye of the Tiger.” Maybe I did.
Nowadays, g-chat prevents you from creating lame screen names like “allypoo11” or “heretocheer314” or “twetty2888”….AND are you wondering whether twetty was supposed to be spelled tweety? Yes it was, but that screen name was already taken and therefore twetty it was. (AHEM, BEEF) I think my favorite of all was Katharine’s “pinballwizard31” or something. I am not sure of the numbers. Regardless, that was hysterical. Best screen name award goes to her.
Anyways g-chat accomplished the goal of taking my mind off of stress and also serving to provide entertainment for me all day long. I love g-chat (especially during work) and it has absolutely been the catalyst to getting me through the last couple days. And who isn’t funnier behind a computer screen? My wit increases significantly. So whatever, I am thankful for g-chat.
Best g-chat quote of the day: “No seriously, you looked really good last night. When you walked in I was like ‘crap, I should have tried harder’.” –Bethany Brueggen
….if you want to g-chat me….my name is allyrice12 but when we chat it will just read “Ally”. And just FYI, I am pretty near always up for a good g-chat.
I hate to do another technology post but g-chat saved my life on November 9. So therefore I am extremely thankful for it, and for Bethany who made it possible and affirmed me from her office in South Denver. So whatever, technology is a miracle.
This day was a rough day to begin with seeing that my alarm went off about 2 hours earlier than normal. This inevitably lead to eating about 16 helpings of sweet potato casserole at the office lunch and learn, and putting BOTH headphones in my ears so that Bon Iver could help to lower my stress level.
I had two huge deadlines at work on November 9, both of which were impossible to accomplish. So in order to tackle this feat without having a massive breakdown at my workplace, I g-chatted with Bethany about how cruel life/ full time jobs can often be. Am I shallow? Yes. Did being shallow and whining about having too much responsibility make me feel any better? YES. Yes, it did. And lucky for my co-workers and clients, I am a magician/wizard and finished both projects just in time to have an anxiety attack and treat myself to dark chocolate covered almonds while staring blankly at the freshly bound design books as they were being put into FedEx boxes. Then I turned and just walked out. Lorrie had made 3 different desserts when I got home, so needless to say the day just got better after that.
G-chat is the best because it takes you back to the good old days when everyone was on AOL/AIM. Remember that? That was routine…around 7PM, 13 year old me started popping my knuckles and gearing up for a night of conversations with 47 different people simultaneously. Everything I know about multi-tasking came from multiple chats with all my middle school friends and juggling between infinite conversations. The most important of which - the love of my 6th grade heart, Andbeckers - who’s screen name would make a special sound whenever he got online. That’s when I knew it was game time. Let’s do this! Chatroom here I come. I should have just put on some eye black and blared “Eye of the Tiger.” Maybe I did.
Nowadays, g-chat prevents you from creating lame screen names like “allypoo11” or “heretocheer314” or “twetty2888”….AND are you wondering whether twetty was supposed to be spelled tweety? Yes it was, but that screen name was already taken and therefore twetty it was. (AHEM, BEEF) I think my favorite of all was Katharine’s “pinballwizard31” or something. I am not sure of the numbers. Regardless, that was hysterical. Best screen name award goes to her.
Anyways g-chat accomplished the goal of taking my mind off of stress and also serving to provide entertainment for me all day long. I love g-chat (especially during work) and it has absolutely been the catalyst to getting me through the last couple days. And who isn’t funnier behind a computer screen? My wit increases significantly. So whatever, I am thankful for g-chat.
Best g-chat quote of the day: “No seriously, you looked really good last night. When you walked in I was like ‘crap, I should have tried harder’.” –Bethany Brueggen
….if you want to g-chat me….my name is allyrice12 but when we chat it will just read “Ally”. And just FYI, I am pretty near always up for a good g-chat.
Thankful Day 8
November 8: Nerds, Smarties, and Sour Punch Straws
I am going to tell you something about myself that most of my very close friends would already know: I have an unhealthy obsession with sugar in the form of tiny candy. Nerds are like my kryptonite and it is borderline impossible for me to walk past a box of pink & purple nerds without stopping to grab like…14 or 15 boxes of them. (Give or take a few). I literally think they are the best candy in the world and far outweigh all other candy. They deserve some kind of award. I am excluding chocolate here…but with my lactose intolerance, nerds win.
AND IT’S ESSENTIAL THAT I HAVE STRAWBERRY SOUR PUNCH STRAWS WHEN I GO INTO A MOVIE THEATRE. (I am talking about the value pack where you get like 40 straws for $40 dollars…(exaggeration, but seriously everything costs like absurd amounts at the movie theatre… a small coke is like $5…I could get a Subway footlong for that)) Did you guys just see that parenthesis WITHIN a parenthesis!? Is your mind blown?
And as for smarties…let’s just say that I can eat an entire bag of them. They are my own personal version of crack cocaine. And EVERYONE gives out smarties at Halloween because they are cheap as crap. I find them just laying around every place I go like little evil tempters that I never turn down. No self control with the smarties. Things you should know about me: I never turn down a hit of smarties.
So I am thankful for these tiny awesome sugar bombs, but since I have to fit into a beautiful flowy floor length dress in about a month and a half to stand next to Beef on her wedding day….they do not coincide with the Beef wedding diet that I have miserably failed at attempting.
Can we all agree that dieting is the worst? I just want that to be out in the open. I want people to say that eating heathy is sort of the worst thing ever and that, yes, I would like a bite of that cupcake. I would like Jennifer Aniston and Gwyneth Paltrow to admit that they have a good body because they’re extremely disciplined, work out constantly and rarely succumb to any food cravings. Let’s just be real…is that possible?
Being and keeping fit is freaking hard work so let’s not pretend that a prohibitive diet is delicious. It makes all of the people who aren’t as fit (READ: me) feel bad about ourselves. “Why don’t I love broccoli as much as Gwyneth? Is something wrong with me?! Should I be craving brown rice right now instead of a Chipotle burrito?!” Hell no. Eating healthy is all about eating the brown rice while imagining it to be a Chipotle burrito. Let’s not let anyone tell us differently or trick us into thinking we are crazy. It’s a proven fact that the things that make you fat are synonymous with the things that taste the best.
So ALAS, in the spirit of the holidays, I am thankful for Nerds, Smarties, and Sour Punch Straws. I mean if you don’t like candy, you obviously hate your mouth.
I am going to tell you something about myself that most of my very close friends would already know: I have an unhealthy obsession with sugar in the form of tiny candy. Nerds are like my kryptonite and it is borderline impossible for me to walk past a box of pink & purple nerds without stopping to grab like…14 or 15 boxes of them. (Give or take a few). I literally think they are the best candy in the world and far outweigh all other candy. They deserve some kind of award. I am excluding chocolate here…but with my lactose intolerance, nerds win.
AND IT’S ESSENTIAL THAT I HAVE STRAWBERRY SOUR PUNCH STRAWS WHEN I GO INTO A MOVIE THEATRE. (I am talking about the value pack where you get like 40 straws for $40 dollars…(exaggeration, but seriously everything costs like absurd amounts at the movie theatre… a small coke is like $5…I could get a Subway footlong for that)) Did you guys just see that parenthesis WITHIN a parenthesis!? Is your mind blown?
And as for smarties…let’s just say that I can eat an entire bag of them. They are my own personal version of crack cocaine. And EVERYONE gives out smarties at Halloween because they are cheap as crap. I find them just laying around every place I go like little evil tempters that I never turn down. No self control with the smarties. Things you should know about me: I never turn down a hit of smarties.
So I am thankful for these tiny awesome sugar bombs, but since I have to fit into a beautiful flowy floor length dress in about a month and a half to stand next to Beef on her wedding day….they do not coincide with the Beef wedding diet that I have miserably failed at attempting.
Can we all agree that dieting is the worst? I just want that to be out in the open. I want people to say that eating heathy is sort of the worst thing ever and that, yes, I would like a bite of that cupcake. I would like Jennifer Aniston and Gwyneth Paltrow to admit that they have a good body because they’re extremely disciplined, work out constantly and rarely succumb to any food cravings. Let’s just be real…is that possible?
Being and keeping fit is freaking hard work so let’s not pretend that a prohibitive diet is delicious. It makes all of the people who aren’t as fit (READ: me) feel bad about ourselves. “Why don’t I love broccoli as much as Gwyneth? Is something wrong with me?! Should I be craving brown rice right now instead of a Chipotle burrito?!” Hell no. Eating healthy is all about eating the brown rice while imagining it to be a Chipotle burrito. Let’s not let anyone tell us differently or trick us into thinking we are crazy. It’s a proven fact that the things that make you fat are synonymous with the things that taste the best.
So ALAS, in the spirit of the holidays, I am thankful for Nerds, Smarties, and Sour Punch Straws. I mean if you don’t like candy, you obviously hate your mouth.
Monday, November 7, 2011
Thankful Day 5, 6, & 7
November 5: Ski Lifts
Right?! RIGHT!?! As we all know, snowboarding is easily one of my favorite things about winter. I am really working to be x-games good by the end of the season, and anybody who has gone snowboarding with me would agree that I have a long way to go, regardless of the fact that I call myself a “boarder.” Becks is faithful to point out that exaggeration anyways. But as it stands, snowboarding and holidays redeem the cold misery-town weather. And what would we do without ski lifts? Seriously…WHAT WOULD WE DO!?! Without ski lifts there would be no such thing as snowboarding. And I can say this rather confidently because I walked up three flights of stairs in my snowboard boots on Saturday and was wheezing like a fat fifth grader after his morning box of mini donuts. And let’s not forget that I hiked a 14er in the summer and almost died, so there is not a chance in hell that I would hike up a mountain in the winter just to slide down it. NOT. A. CHANCE. The sport as we know it would be forever lost.
And so in spite of the fact that I almost always fall trying to get off the ski lift because it always seems like we are going to arrive to that hill at lightning speed, and in spite of the fact that it’s fairly likely they will have to stop the lift to allow me time to get out of the way because I laugh hysterically when I fall, I do love the fact that I can sit in a chair while being transported to the top of a mountain. It’s a miracle of a contraption and makes me feel like quite the DIVA. And that’s not something I take lightly.
So Saturday I was extremely thankful for ski lifts. And I will be equally as thankful for them next Saturday, and the Saturday after that, and the Saturday after that…and so on until next May.
November 6: Daylight Savings Time (applies to Fall Backwards ONLY)
Daylight Savings Time (Fall Backwards) kicks off “the most wonderful time of the year.” Can we all be honest about the fact that when we looked at our iPhones Sunday morning and saw an ungodly early hour, we celebrated that extra hour of sleep with an air fist pump while still in bed? I know I did. I smiled (which is something I never do right when I wake up) and rolled over in blessed warm abandon to drift back into a dream that I think included something along the lines of me winning the Starbucks lottery where I won an infinite number of soy chai lattes, and someone had given me a free puppy and all my friends lived in the same place and we were all wearing long sleeves and fuzzy socks in my mountain lodge with my talk, dark, and handsome husband, and everyone was laughing and happy and eating pumpkin cheesecake which actually made you skinnier. OK, the dream was made up. The rest was absolutely true.
For me, that hour was a gift from the Lord Jesus Christ Himself seeing that my body was exhausted to the point of no return from the 7 hours of snowboarding in boots that are too small for my feet. I was in severe recovery mode and the extra sleep came at just the perfect time. This “holiday” of sorts always increases my mood significantly until the sun sets at 5PM, which is just ridiculous. But needless to say, I haven’t set my watch back yet because it makes me feel like I am REALLY living on the edge sleeping in until 8 (which is really 7). But I can trick myself better than anyone else, and that 8:15 wake-up call felt oh so very nice.
It should be addressed that the ugly step sister of Fall backwards is Spring forwards and everyone, I repeat, EVERYONE hates that selfish biznatch. Depriving me of an hour of sleep goes in the same category as taking a baseball bat to my shins.
But since this is November and not March, I am thankful, SO VERY THANKFUL, for Daylight Savings Time.
November 7: Hair Ties (Pony Tail Holders)
This is a MUST HAVE, people. A pony tail is my go-to look for every. single. occasion. I am so thankful that someone came up with the idea of elastic rubber bands covered in fabric so that you don’t use profanity every time you try to take your pony tail down (like you would if you were using a regular rubber band which rips hair from your scalp). And let’s also be thankful that these no longer come only in the form of a scrunchie, because it’s a worldwide fact that scrunchies are for losers. Losers, and people trying to re-live the 80s.
Anyways those tiny little hair ties make my life 100% easier, 100% cooler, and 110% more able to avoid my hair dreading….which we all should just agree is disgusting. If I ever dread my hair, you all should assume that Colorado has taken me captive, brainwashed me, and your response would be to go ahead and put me out of my misery. I will probably also be high when you find me. You should know by now that hair means essentially everything to me and I pride myself on having it silky and long and freshly teased. Therefore doing something to jeopardize that would be a sign of mental instability.
But in light of the fact that my hair is phenomenal today (it’s the one thing I’ve got going for me), I am really really thankful for hair ties.
Right?! RIGHT!?! As we all know, snowboarding is easily one of my favorite things about winter. I am really working to be x-games good by the end of the season, and anybody who has gone snowboarding with me would agree that I have a long way to go, regardless of the fact that I call myself a “boarder.” Becks is faithful to point out that exaggeration anyways. But as it stands, snowboarding and holidays redeem the cold misery-town weather. And what would we do without ski lifts? Seriously…WHAT WOULD WE DO!?! Without ski lifts there would be no such thing as snowboarding. And I can say this rather confidently because I walked up three flights of stairs in my snowboard boots on Saturday and was wheezing like a fat fifth grader after his morning box of mini donuts. And let’s not forget that I hiked a 14er in the summer and almost died, so there is not a chance in hell that I would hike up a mountain in the winter just to slide down it. NOT. A. CHANCE. The sport as we know it would be forever lost.
And so in spite of the fact that I almost always fall trying to get off the ski lift because it always seems like we are going to arrive to that hill at lightning speed, and in spite of the fact that it’s fairly likely they will have to stop the lift to allow me time to get out of the way because I laugh hysterically when I fall, I do love the fact that I can sit in a chair while being transported to the top of a mountain. It’s a miracle of a contraption and makes me feel like quite the DIVA. And that’s not something I take lightly.
So Saturday I was extremely thankful for ski lifts. And I will be equally as thankful for them next Saturday, and the Saturday after that, and the Saturday after that…and so on until next May.
November 6: Daylight Savings Time (applies to Fall Backwards ONLY)
Daylight Savings Time (Fall Backwards) kicks off “the most wonderful time of the year.” Can we all be honest about the fact that when we looked at our iPhones Sunday morning and saw an ungodly early hour, we celebrated that extra hour of sleep with an air fist pump while still in bed? I know I did. I smiled (which is something I never do right when I wake up) and rolled over in blessed warm abandon to drift back into a dream that I think included something along the lines of me winning the Starbucks lottery where I won an infinite number of soy chai lattes, and someone had given me a free puppy and all my friends lived in the same place and we were all wearing long sleeves and fuzzy socks in my mountain lodge with my talk, dark, and handsome husband, and everyone was laughing and happy and eating pumpkin cheesecake which actually made you skinnier. OK, the dream was made up. The rest was absolutely true.
For me, that hour was a gift from the Lord Jesus Christ Himself seeing that my body was exhausted to the point of no return from the 7 hours of snowboarding in boots that are too small for my feet. I was in severe recovery mode and the extra sleep came at just the perfect time. This “holiday” of sorts always increases my mood significantly until the sun sets at 5PM, which is just ridiculous. But needless to say, I haven’t set my watch back yet because it makes me feel like I am REALLY living on the edge sleeping in until 8 (which is really 7). But I can trick myself better than anyone else, and that 8:15 wake-up call felt oh so very nice.
It should be addressed that the ugly step sister of Fall backwards is Spring forwards and everyone, I repeat, EVERYONE hates that selfish biznatch. Depriving me of an hour of sleep goes in the same category as taking a baseball bat to my shins.
But since this is November and not March, I am thankful, SO VERY THANKFUL, for Daylight Savings Time.
November 7: Hair Ties (Pony Tail Holders)
This is a MUST HAVE, people. A pony tail is my go-to look for every. single. occasion. I am so thankful that someone came up with the idea of elastic rubber bands covered in fabric so that you don’t use profanity every time you try to take your pony tail down (like you would if you were using a regular rubber band which rips hair from your scalp). And let’s also be thankful that these no longer come only in the form of a scrunchie, because it’s a worldwide fact that scrunchies are for losers. Losers, and people trying to re-live the 80s.
Anyways those tiny little hair ties make my life 100% easier, 100% cooler, and 110% more able to avoid my hair dreading….which we all should just agree is disgusting. If I ever dread my hair, you all should assume that Colorado has taken me captive, brainwashed me, and your response would be to go ahead and put me out of my misery. I will probably also be high when you find me. You should know by now that hair means essentially everything to me and I pride myself on having it silky and long and freshly teased. Therefore doing something to jeopardize that would be a sign of mental instability.
But in light of the fact that my hair is phenomenal today (it’s the one thing I’ve got going for me), I am really really thankful for hair ties.
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