23 Questions

1. Why is Blair Whitley moving ironically to Texas, adding her to the list of people that are too far away from me?
2. Why do I feel the need to be overly competitive in every aspect of my life, like for example, who can be in their pajamas in bed the fastest? (I always beat my roommate)
3. Where the hell is Carmen San Diego?
4. Why would a guy with a Christian fish on his car cut me off when merging lanes this morning?
5. Why does anyone on God’s green earth own a Kia after that God-awful commercial with the oversized hamsters?
6. What the hell was Peter thinking when he fell asleep in the Garden of Gethsemene?
7. Why is it rendered socially unacceptable to kick people when they piss you off?
8. Why did I think it was a good idea to attempt to order my food in Spanish today at Chipotle? I ended up with the wrong order and laughing at what I think was a joke that I didn’t understand.
9. Who let the dogs out?
10. Why does 9am-5pm pass so slowly, but 9pm-5am passes so quickly?
11. Why hasn’t Texas seceded yet?
12. Who thought it was a good idea for Donald Trump to run for President?
13. When is it appropriate to drop it like it’s hot?
14. Why can you never figure out how to open your eyes in real life, when you have subconsciously been made aware that you are dreaming?
15. At what age is it appropriate to start using terms like ‘the good ole days”?
16. Why does the guy beside me drink out of his coffee cup like it is the goblet of fire?
17. Why do personalized license plates exist?
18. Why does the lady at the bank assume that because I am not a child that I do not want a sucker?
19. Why do I always sit near the guy at church who has his own loud rendition for every worship song?
20. How the hell do you exit Ikea?
21. Where can I purchase one of those chairs that will transport me up and down the staircase to my basement?
22. How many rounds of defensive driving does it take before you cease to get speeding tickets?
23. Why doesn’t every snack have a prize at the bottom like Cracker Jacks? Cracker Jacks suck. Put something legit at the bottom of a pack of nerds and I’m golden.