Starting at childhood, I was sheltered and knew life as being easy, with everything I wanted in my grip. I was in constant movement and the Queen of my own world. With Brittney as my faithful side kick, my imagination dominated reality. My mom spoiled me, or so she would say. The only things that mattered were who I sat by at lunch, and who could run the fastest on the playground and I most always won. Life was good. And simple.
*Brittney and Carson were often subjected to the dances I made up, including this little Christmas diddy:
Middle school brought the first glimpses of trouble, I still remember the trauma of Bethany Lanier, (the cute blonde in the red shirt shown below) telling me that I had squirrels for eyebrows. In 6th grade I fell in love for the first time with the boy that I would later date for something around forever. I wrote my first name with his last name on my binder. My best friends went toilet papering and stole street signs at night, sneaking out of Ashton's house by window. A season of mostly innocent rebellion.
Then high school hit, a whirlwind of a new adventure. I was shallow as heck, but boy did I have some fun. Competitive athletics controlled my life, I loved being known as the athlete. I had an awesome group of friends, some of whom still play huge roles in my life to this day, like the infamous Brittany Forrester.
Andrew, my 16 year old heart-throb, equipped with shaggy hair and captain of the JV football team was the center of my world, and I spent every waking minute with him. Lots of times we were at his lake house learning to wakeboard, and swinging in the hammock. He had a 1965 mustang and we often drove with the windows down.
My senior year of high school, I got to watch my world crumble before my eyes as God loved me enough to remove me from my own pedestal. A tragedy in my life of epic proportion, my sister would refer to the times that I cried in my closet and laugh at how she would listen to my pathetic phone conversations through the wall that we shared.
Freshman year of college seems like a blur. I was thrown blindly into the college life at Texas A&M, naive and confused and I randomly joined a sorority. I lived with the homecoming queen from Arlington, Texas and my best friend at the time, Sunni and I would stay up all night long doing crafts and not studying. That would later bite me in the rear end.
Sophomore year I made what I thought was the best friend I would ever have, and when she was later painfully removed from my life I hit a breaking point as God brought me to my knees. Becca Feagin stepped in as a new best friend and taught me what it really meant to seek after and love the Lord. I had never seen anyone love, communicate, and live like Becca. Still no one to this day has made the impression that she made on my walk with Christ. She taught me what to do with my desperation, and showed me what it meant to cling with everything you have to Him.
At age 19 I decided to trade in my former life of mediocrity and performance based faith for a real relationship with Christ. It changed everything, but not before a good 4 months of serious depression. It was the following summer that I was given Megan Templin, the biggest blessing ever. My best friend to this day, she was who God used to help bring me back from the dark side, a savior of some sort all wrapped in a 5'1 package of cuteness. She's the ultimate wing-man.
Junior year I was also 'blessed' with knowing that I would never use my architecture degree, after a hell ride of an internship in Dallas, Texas. One year later, at Kanakuk, the place where I accredit so much change in my heart, I was introduced to Savannah Rowland by the grace of God alone. Another extremely life changing friendship, and the relationship that God would use to point out more about myself than I had ever known. I have never loved someone like I love Savannah. My friendship with her has really transformed who I am in Christ, and taught me who I am called to be and who I am not. I have learned a lot about the heart issues behind the actions I take, and am still learning to this day.
Senior year I lived with my sister, which proved to be the best decision I have ever made. Rock solid accountability in my grasp and a constant flow of good advice helped make this year my favorite year yet. My college season recently came to a close and I am currently waiting slash preparing for the next chapter to start. Eager and ready for something new.
What I want to talk about is this: God was there in every season. He hand-placed each person in my life to mold me, walk with me, destroy me in some cases, and grow me. Some of those people will remain a part of my life as long as I live, and some were only meant to walk with me for a season, as God leads them out of my life on a journey of their own. This is a really hard reality for me to grasp and accept. He carefully orchestrated each scenario and was with me in each one. Friends have come and friends have gone, but He has been constant. I have changed, things have changed, but God has not changed. He is forever the same. As I was spending time with God on my 3 hour drive home with my windows down, this old favorite song by Nichole Nordeman came on, called Every Season:
"Every evening sky, an invitation to trace the patterned stars. And early in July, a celebration for freedom that is ours, and I notice You in children's games, and those who watch them from the shade. Every drop of sun is full of wonder. YOU ARE SUMMER.
And even when the trees have just surrendered to the harvest time, forfeiting their leaves in late September and sending us inside. Still I notice You when change begins and I am braced for colder winds. I will offer thanks for what has been and what's to come. YOU ARE AUTUMN.
And everything in time and under heaven finally falls asleep. Wrapped in blankets white, all creation shivers underneath and still I notice You when branches crack and in my breath on frosted glass. Even now in death, You open doors for life to enter. YOU ARE WINTER.
And everything that's new has bravely surfaced, teaching us to breathe. What was frozen through is newly purposed, turning all things green and so it is with You and how You make me new with every season's change. And so it will be as You are re-creating me. Summer, Autumn, Winter, Spring."
And so that song is for starters one of my favorites, but it just so perfectly defines God's immutability and the idea that He never changes. He is with us in every season of our lives. As we walk through summers, autumns, winters, and springs we can rest assure that our God is there. He was there through the beautiful disaster of life that I have known and He will be there in the years to come, until He calls me home. And for tonight, for the time being, that is enough. In the midst of a rough patch, I am okay because my God, my glorious unchanging God says that He is with me always. And although I want alot of things to change, and I want to remedy alot of painful situations, I know for a fact that I have everything I NEED.
As you walk through your own seasons of life, I hope that you realize this small but important truth. Everything around you is going to change. You can bank on it. Your environment will change. Your friends will change. You will meet new people, and the people you used to know will lose touch with you. Things will go right, and things will go wrong. You will be happy and you will be sad. Things that mattered to you will not matter anymore. But in light of all of this constant change, often painful, you can KNOW that God does not change. He is the same yesterday, today, and forever (Hebrews 13:8). So as long as you cling to Him, you have a rock that will stabilize you amidst any storm. Hold on for your life.
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