Full Time Jobs. Not My Thing.

With only 7 (SEVEN!) more days left at this full time job, I can’t decide whether to stick around or to light myself on fire. The 2pm-3pm hour has always been hard on me. Compared to the other hours, 2-3pm is like stepping out of a warm bath and being thrown into a vat of ferrets. The next certain amount of days are all really going to depend on whether or not I get paid at the end of this thing for my un-used sick days. If not….I see a very traumatic sickness in my NEAR future, (as in, tomorrow). Ferret fever.

I am to a point in the day where I just tried to eat the pen in my left hand while holding a banana in my right. Bow before my intellect, humans.

Speaking of nothing in particular: Does anyone else have this running through their heads?

“SHOT THROUGH THE HEART!
And you’re to blame,
Darlin’ you give looooove a bad name (bad name).”

What about now, suckers?!



In just 8 (EIGHT!) days, I will once again be venturing into the holy land of Texas. Becks, Beef, Cara, Meg, and the wonderful world of Brown-Rice all at once! Too much!

What I am MOST looking forward to (besides everything) is challenging myself to the usual: making my parents laugh until they cry. It’s not that hard, and a quick rendition of Bon Qui Qui usually does the trick. But GOD AND BRITTNEY (specifically) KNOW it’s time for some new material.

The way it ALWAYS goes is that something strikes them as unbelievably funny. (KEEP IN MIND: IT’S USUALLY NOT THAT FUNNY) Their chuckle forces its way into a hearty laugh which propels its way up into howling and then shrieking. Shrieking and pounding the table with fists. Cue gasping for air. They start to lose lung capacity which brings on choking until they actually cannot breathe. Usually they are in such comical hysterics at this point that they cry. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.

Casual bystanders would probably think they were dying. I think they usually feel like they are. And one or both of them end up in the bathroom, without fail. Dogs are barking. This rabid chimpanzee act lasts for anywhere from 5 to 15 minutes and serves as my ab workout for the entire week. This kind of thing only happens in Texas, I am sure.


You guys know who I love? Brittney Lynnakins. Just look at her! She is such the big girl, what with being a SENIOR in college! And further—she is the ONLY person in her entire summer school class at TAMU-T (Texas A&ME) who passed her pretest yesterday. She’s cute AND she’s smart! I have her number!

God get me to 5PM.