When I say America, You say "We're the BEST."

AMERICANS!!!!!!!!!!
It’s the 2nd of July! Which means you know which holiday is fast approaching!? THAT’S RIGHT. THE FOURTH OF FREAKIN’ JULY!!!! I love it. I love it. I love it. I love America. #RED #WHITE #BLUE!! May or may not have cried during the USA Olympic Gymnastics Trials last night, but that’s neither here nor there. And this post is not about gymnasts, it's is about God’s country (not Israel).

It’s time once again to celebrate this idiotic awesome country (the best damn country in the world) by playing outside, accentuating our southern accents (if you got it, flaunt it...I always (never) say), and blowing things up! Not even the total fire ban in Colorado can stop us from shooting fireworks! MUA HA HA! Grab a summer beer, and SO HELP ME GOD, play country (READ: AMERICAN) music as loud as your little speakers will allow and dance in the streets because Wednesday is INDEPENDENCE DAY!

FREEDOM! I love it.

This past weekend was splendid and awesome mostly because I got my tan on like I still lived in Texas. And now I look a little less like a vampire, and a little more like my Cherokee heritage. It was fabulous. Bethany, GOD BLESS HER SOUL, found us an amazing pool to spend both Saturday and Sunday lying beside. This is the best contribution that Bethany has made to our friendship thus far. And I was perfectly content just dozing in the sunshine and reading my book until Behnke arrived, demanding that we play in the water and go down the toddler slide. And seeing that I am NOT a fun-hater, I did a cannon ball right into the “swimming laps only” lane. Which was awkward for all my speedo wearing friends who were, PLEASE NOTE, between the ages of 65-80. Also, the lifeguard blew his whistle notifying me that I could not play in that lane. RUDE.

(Note from pool goers united: IT’S NOT OKAY TO WEAR SUCH A TINY SWIM SUIT, MEN!! Put on some trunks!)

Anyways Behnke and I had handstand competitions and underwater tea parties and choreographed a synchronized swimming routine, and I am 98% sure that I pulled a hamstring trying to do multiple flips. SO APPARENTLY I’m not 12 anymore. Who knew?  LIFE IS HARD.

So we stayed at the pool for right around 6 hours each day and then during time in between, we went to church, went on walks at the park, layed on the couches, and spent some time “Pinteresting” (READ: wasting our lives). Anyways I learned how to make a leopard print cake which is helpful in ZERO circumstances unless I plan a party for Beef anytime in the future. In other news: YOU CAN PUT ANYTHING IN A MASON JAR AND SUDDENLY ITS TRENDY!

Well. It’s a complete injustice that I am even at work today. We should get a week off for this holiday. TOTAL CRAP. I am rebelling against the system and taking a walk during lunch. And probably going to light sparklers in the office later and run around singing the national anthem. What can they do? Fire me?!

(ANSWER: Yes. They can fire me.)