Thankful Day 21 & 22

November 21: Make-up
Because God knows I need it.

And Edwin, the guy who sits next to me at work, also knows that I need it because he just asked me if I was sick. Which I am not. I am just wearing what could be considered pajamas to work and I have no make-up on. Why? Because it’s my life and I do what I want. Also because I left my make-up in Behnke’s car. More emphasis on not having access to my make-up. Usually I am totes profesh like 24-7. (I am highly regretting the use of that abbreviation.) And color me pissed when I realized I didn’t have it this morning.

Some would say that I am the type of person who does not like to wear make-up. Others, that are closest to me, would strongly agree. I hate it. Now, I would LOVE make-up if its application was something easy and less time consuming. Like for example, if you could take a gummy vitamin and be make-up ready….I mean, I think that’s something I could get behind.

But as it stands, it is too much dang effort, but man it does wonders for my face and complexion. Doesn’t it!? I mean despite the fact that I am pleasant as hell, sometimes I need to look presentable and a little make-up can radically transform my pale winter skin into lush bronze with pink cheeks. And obviously concealer is my best friend, seeing that for some reason, my low-life-middle-schooler hormones are still blessing me with acne breakouts on a weekly basis.

Anyways so I am rocking the natural look today, and rocking it well. And I don’t hate it, because despite the fact that I look like am battling mono, I know that God made me beautiful on the inside. Sign me up to design Hallmark cards with gems like that. And thank the good Lord for make-up so that I don’t look jank-as-hell all the time. Only most of the time.


November 22: The “Girl" Card
Okay, honestly there are many things that I would change about being of the female gender. But despite its downfalls, there are also things that I love about girly-hood, one of which is being able to throw the “girl card”. Anytime. Anywhere. So today, I am choosing to be thankful about being a girl.

Let’s go over some examples of when it would be appropriate to throw the girl card:

1. Unprecedented and Unforgivable Giddy-ness:

Scene: Having a crush. When was the last time you had a crush on somebody?? Isn’t a crush the most innocent, lovesick thing you can possibly partake in? Its precious I tell you! Every girl responds to a crush in the same way with this childlike sense of excitement and wonder and giddyness…and obviously anxiety. Seriously, you can be 65 and wrinkly and still feel a smile develop when you’re listening to “I Wanna Hold Your Hand” because you get it and it gets you. (I don’t know this from personal experience, but my grandmother definitely still smiles every time she hears Conway Twitty play my grandfather’s favorite song. She also will tell the story of how they met (while she was jumping rope on the playground) to anyone willing to listen. Isn’t that just darling!!?)

Let’s be honest, there are very few things in life that can make me skip down the road and twirl around and giggle incessantly and smile relentlessly. And let me tell you, that kind of crap is beyond my control. Having a crush on a cute adventurous boy who loves Jesus with reckless abandon is one of those things. Cue: giddy/moronic behavior. And if anyone says: “you are acting like an idiot” then I will look in my wallet, find my girl card and throw it in their face and shriek: “I don’t care! I am a GIRL!” And then giggle louder.

2. Daydreaming unrealistically:

I especially appreciate anything that allows me to run wild with my imagination. THAT is what girls are known for! It’s our God given RIGHT to do things like plan our wedding before knowing our future spouse’s last name. Or plan a trip around the world and tell people that we are going long before we have ever considered that it could/might cost money. And I like it that way, damnit! Screw being rational! I like the big ideas and the not knowing and creating a pretty picture in my head of some boy and I having picnics, kissing under streetlights, making dinner together and slow dancing in the living room…or a more likely case—watching a football game wearing fuzzy socks and drinking a holiday beer. And then road tripping in a VW van all over the world. So much possibility lies in my imagination.

Imagination actually represents possibility, endless possibilities of change and happiness and success and romance and happily ever afters. Sometimes daydreams just serve as avenues to make me feel alive and happier and silly and to be the highlight of my day. Whatever the case, GIRL CARD, you can’t judge me.

3. Rationalizing and excusing anything I do wrong based on being “hormonal”:

There is not a week in the month that I cannot write off my craziness on being hormonal. Not a single week. And when I am being unforgivably ridiculous, I can just say “Look, I think I am hormonal (READ: girl card)” and that is your cue to nod your head in silent understanding. And back the hell off. And that is my cue to deny responsibility for any and all of my actions. Some things that I can write off by throwing the girl card include: binge eating, crying, maniacal laughter, rollercoaster emotions, bitch-mode, dressing like a homeless person (although I do this all the time), double desserts, acne, being late to anything, not responding to your texts, or any mistake I make EVER..etc.


So maybe I have had Ingrid Michaelson on repeat for too long now, or maybe today I just like being how God created me. But it’s probably the Ingrid Michaelson disease because she is always singing about being “breakable, breakable, breakable girls” who can have their fragile hearts broken easily seeing that the only thing protecting them is a cage of rib bones. And about girls’ being galleries of broken hearts who just want to know that they will be okay. And about being in love with some boy who is cute and funny and getting rich and buying our parents’ homes in the south of France, and buying everybody nice sweaters and teaching them how to dance, and building a house on the mountain making everybody look like ants. And dad gum it, she swirls you up into a fairytale where being a girl is the best thing ever.

So I am thankful, despite all of the idiocy that comes with being a girl that I have a “get-out-of-jail-free” card that I can throw anytime. And honestly, I think being a girl is fun. I think God made girls fun and funny and sometimes cute and fragile and fierce and crazy and loving and motherly (some more than others) and special and perfectly equipped for the life that He has written for us. And so I am so very thankful to a God who is so very creative.