Thankful Day 10, 11, & 12

November 10: Groupon
Groupon is the bomb.com. Each morning without fail I receive an opportunity to purchase some sort of discounted item or activity. Yoga. Food. Extreme outdoor adventures. Great right? $35 to go Turtle tubing at Vail!! Thank God, it’s usually like 70 bucks! However, the only thing I have actually ever purchased off of Groupon is a deal to get $20 worth of stuff at Whole Foods for only $10. WHAT. A. BARGAIN! I can’t turn down buying overpriced organic produce. I live in Colorado for crying out loud.

With that being acknowledged, Groupon is also the worst thing ever because I receive daily reminders of everything my life could be and is not. Every day Groupon mocks me with the boundless potential of the world around me.

They send me crap like discounts on tickets to the ballet, gourmet food, and half-off mani-pedis. Its really frustrating because I wake up to these little messages that ridicule me about not having the money or time or the will to do stuff like see the ballet. Even if it is 60% off. Do they even know me at all?! I mean I sometimes derive complete meals off of samples at Costco…so its unlikely that I am going to purchase a yoga subscription which would inevitably lead to my giggling and subsequent blackout rage in a room full of "skinnier and more flexible than me" strangers.

Anyways regardless of the fact that Groupon points their accusational and deeply discounted fingers at me, I am thankful for the money that they offer to save me. Being in your 20's means living like a homeless person and nobody warned me about that prior to my arrival. Did you guys borrow money to go to college? Because college loans are the absolute bane of my existence. All the money I make either goes to the government via taxes (which I blame on Barack Obama regardless of whether or not its his fault), and/or to whoever backed me financially to attend Texas A&M University. I am once again eating Ramen noodles. And I thought I was poor in college! HA. What a joke. At least then I had the mini-kitchen at the theta house to raid at midnight.

But as it stands, I keep my name on the mailing list because as much as Groupon’s messages remind me of who I am not, they do give me a glimpse of the person I could be. Every morning, as I discard an offer for, let’s say, 50% off of an hour of kayaking, I have a brief moment of hope. Maybe someday I can be the girl that spends her weekend paddling gracefully through a river at a discounted rate. Perhaps in the future I will want to spend forty dollars on a spa treatment valued at twice that price. PERHAPS!

But until then, I will be thankful that I can buy fruit like a real Coloradoan at the most overpriced grocery store in America. I will stroll down the color coordinated fruit and veggie aisles like I belong there, grabbing as many dadgum bell peppers as I freaking want!!
(As long as it doesn’t exceed my $20 coupon.)


November 11: Soy Chai Tea Lattes
Okay, you knew it was coming, I knew it was coming. Let's all just agree that this post was a given. I talk about chai tea lattes more than I talk about my relationship status or how much I hate full time jobs.

Soy chai’s represent all that is good in the world. SWEET NECTAR is what they are!! My absolute drink of sugary choice. I could drink a soy chai every day for every meal and never get tired of them. I tried something new the other day at Starbucks and rebuked myself for at least 2.5 hours after making that epic mistake. The only thing that could POSSIBLY substitute for a soy chai is a pumpkin spice latte, but those are only really good for the first two weeks of the season that they are offered and then the “new-toy” euphoria wears off like it’s the week after Christmas and I inevitably go back to what is comfortable.

Honest to God, I cant get enough of them. The Starbucks employees know me and my bank account hates me. I have experimented with making them from home and apparently they put something magical into the ones created in the store because I am unable to re-create their perfection.

True Life: I have an unhealthy relationship with soy chai's and I might need counseling. But in spite of all of those very true truths, I am so thankful for a soy chai at absolutely anytime of the day.


November 12: Sweat Pants
While I am being blatantly obvious, I might as well hit all the things you could see coming from a mile away. So in honor of my favorite article of clothing - which is, as you know, sweat pants - let’s thank God that there is an option of comfort so blissfully perfect as they are.

I have no problem admitting to you that I feel most confident in my sweat pants. I am not above that. I love them. I love them so much that I don’t have adequate words for how much I adore them. I can be out of my work clothes and into my sweatpants before I even get to my car in the parking garage. That’s right, people…sometimes I change into my sweatpants in the bathroom of my place of work so that I can make the drive home most comfortably. Get over it. It happens. And some days by 5PM, I am in a fragile state of mind emotionally and I don’t need the un-comfort of slacks to add anything else to that. Enough is ENOUGH!!!

I have favorite pairs like the blue ones that I stole from Bethany, the Theta sweats from my first year in my sorority, or my ALL TIME FAVORITE – the black and gold Mizzou sweats that were a gift from Savannah when I shattered my face playing intramural sports. (low point)

Seriously though, I could wear those bad boys every day if I wanted to. And there would be nothing you could do about it. Or maybe I should say: ’I would wear those bad boys every day if I could’ because in all actuality my boss would probably fire me if I showed up in sweats. But I think they are especially cute. And I think I look good in some baggy sweatpants. I can rock them like few people that I know. And just you wait - someday I am going to find a real special boy who loves me in spite of those pants. Maybe even because of them. And man oh man, will I love him forever and ever and ever!!!! Lord knows we are already praying for his heart and his dear sweet precious soul. God love (READ: help) him.

Anyways, things could be worse right? Let's be thankful for both the sweat pants and the fact that they are not the worst vice I could have.