Meet Briggs

I haven’t done a blog like this in eh, 6 months, and therefore I am way overdue. You know it’s coming, I know it’s coming. It’s SHOUT OUT time. You may remember previous similar posts honoring very adorable and funny friends Becca Feagin, Megan Templin, or BEEF. Whos SHOUT OUT is this, you might be wondering? Well, she’s blonde, she’s funny, she likes elephants and cinnamon dolce, and she’s not an idiot…you guessed it, introducing Miss Bethany Brueggen (SHOUT OUT)!!

A little background: I met Bethany at a concert like all the BEST friendships should begin. As you already know, most of my closest friends are much more attractive, infinitely smarter, and on a different playing field of holiness than me …and Bethany is no exception. I lovingly call her “Briggs” like I am her high school soccer coach. Or “YODA” when I am coming to her as ‘Young Patawan’ for advice about the things and mysteries of life, love and the pursuit of happiness. Or “skank” when she wakes me up at 5AM for Crossfit Training. There is NOTHING, and I repeat NOTHING that infuriates me more than the sound of her alarm at that hour.

I digress.

Bethany is one of a kind, and is absolutely fascinating. Some things you should know about her include, but are not limited to the following:

Briggs is what I like to call, a blonde goddess. As in, we, as a collective group, sometimes have to assist people with picking their jaws up off the floor when she walks into a room. Everyone who knows her would agree with this statement except for her. God love her humility. But she can rock soccer sweats better than most girls can rock an evening gown. And as if to make the playing field a little more uneven, she wears trendy clothes EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. Just for the hell of it!!!>?! As much as I hate her for this when we go to dinner and it looks like she is buying dinner for a homeless girl she met on the street (READ: me)…it makes her legit.

Briggs laughs at all my jokes and makes me feel funnier than I actually am. I should pay her for laughing so hard sometimes. In response, I want to hang out with her 24-7 all the time, which isn’t possible because she would go insane from lack of “alone time”…a feeling that I cannot relate to, but love her because of/in spite of.

Beth has the best ideas, ever. Especially the ones she says out loud.

Briggs has graciously adopted me as a roommate (IN THE SAME ROOM) and has even set up a twin sized tiny bed for me next to her big bed (its kind of like a dog bed), so that I can have slumber parties with her on multiple occasions throughout each week without stealing and cocooning in all of her covers. Sometimes she yells “Ally GET ON YOUR MAT!” and I laugh uncontrollably and then obey because remember…it is HER room. And despite the fact that she doesn’t really appreciate my “Piano Cascades + Thunderstorm” sleep soundtrack, she still makes the best roommate ever.

Bethany is in better shape when she is out of shape, than I am when I am in shape. Are you guys following that? She skipped up a 14,000ft mountain one weekend. SKIPPED, y’all! I was on my death bed and she was giggling and frolicking vertically for 6 hours. You can read about said experience HERE.

In other news, she may also be a ninja. This fact has neither been confirmed nor denied. Strong evidence supporting this assumption can be found in the fact that earlier this summer she scaled two 10ft fences back to back to sneak into a pool. While descending from the second fence, she got her pants caught on the prong and dangled there in the air with torn pants and a bruised shin, and STILL nobody saw her!! We layed out at said pool for 20 minutes after this event until the rain started. It may have been the hardest I have ever laughed.

Briggs is the only person that I would have wanted with me, while laughing and crying as hard as I could simultaneously the other night. We have an unspoken respect for each other despite the fits of emotion that we have both witnessed in the other. I have cried harder in front of her than anyone else (except for 1. The time I spilled my Sonic drink on the worst night ever with Becca, and 2. The time Brittney surprised me in the Houston airport, everything went wrong and then when I finally found her, WAILED like someone had killed our mother—ALL low points) And seeing that I have only known Bethany for 4 months, that is really saying something.

In all honesty, I actually do not have adequate words for the affirmation that I could lavish on Bethany for her dedication, adoration, discipline, and love for the Lord. I feel sometimes like her and Jesus have this crazy intimate friendship and relationship that only people like AW Tozer, CS Lewis, and Matt Chandler can fully understand. And Paul from the bible. She is a modern day Paul(ette). And I know that God is going to do something BIG in and through her, and I am so excited that I get to be a small part of it. She loves people harder than anyone I know. I learn from her daily and she holds me to a higher standard than any friend ever has. I don’t get away with shiZ. Not even cussing. One time she called me out in front of everyone for lying about kicking a raft with our raft guide, Chip, still in it. I claimed I did no such thing. I did. I totally kicked the raft. And Bethany loved me enough to tell me. Seriously though, she loves me like Christ loves, and doesn’t disown me when I act like an idiot baby…that’s just about all you can ask for in a friend.

Briggs, as aforementioned, wakes me up at 5AM on Tuesdays and Thursdays to put on running shoes, and run around Wash Park to meet up with our trainer, Aaron, who kicks our butts for an hour, until we have trouble walking. Or vomit. Whichever comes first. I usually want to kill her for the first 20 minutes of being awake, but I have begun to love those mornings. After crossfit, we walk through the Wash Park gardens on the way back home and pretend we are in Narnia, and sometimes I scream “Let the wild rumpus START!” and she laughs even though she is probably embarrassed of me and has never seen Where the Wild Things are. It’s one of my favorite Denver memories in motion.

Speaking of movie quotes, she supports my movie and TV show addiction and even tries to guess the movie quotes that I use in my everyday language. Even though she has only seen about 3% of all awesome movies, we are taking baby steps towards educating her cinematically. And she has been willing to learn. She even watched youtube videos with me for an hour the other night. God bless her precious soul.

Bethany participates in seasonal Bucket Lists with me where we make a list of a ton of awesome things to do during that season, and so far we have checked all but one or two off the list.

Another fun fact: Briggs is scared of heights, but only when she is not strapped into something. Example: Carnival ferris wheels: PETRIFIED and gripping the rails. Skydiving: did it without blinking. What tha WHAT?!

In conclusion: all of these things are a lame attempt at describing to you how much I love, appreciate, and admire my blonde best friend who functions as my sister while Britt is so far away. I cannot thank God enough for loving me enough to place her friendship in my life and for giving me someone as cool as she is to do life alongside while here in Denver. I aspire to be more like her on a daily basis, which in turn makes me more like Christ. Bethany is a faithful friend to constantly point me towards the cross, and she brightly reflects the glory of God everywhere she goes.

So there you have it. She is my best buddy, and I really don’t hate it.
My hat is off to you, Bethany Brueggen, my crazy, funny, slack-lining, soccer playing, sometimes reclusive, beautiful, joy filled, perfect road tripper, passionate, evangelistic, nomad, wack-job of a best friend. I couldn’t love you any more. You really are a frister*.

(*pending the approval of my littlest sister on October 15)

Oh So Terribly Happy

My favorite blog to read posts from time to time "10 things making her terribly happy". Here is my rendition of the 10 things making me oh so terribly happy these days:

1. Sleepovers every other night with Bethany, Behnke, Karla, and Rebecca and having my own bed in Bethany's room.
2. Skyping this morning at 6AM with my long lost friend Savannah while she is loving on the kiddos in India.
3. Counting down the days until I see my mommy, my Trudy, my co-broskie, and my littlest sister.
4. Crying and laughing as hard as I can (simultaneously) with my little Denver family, and telling stories of our best girl moments.
5. The Crushery and their fabulous chicken pesto panini that makes my mouth water just to think of it.
6. My new bible study from my sweet little new church that is going through all of the different Hebrew names of God. Learning more about the God who loves me and its evoking awe in my heart.
7. Our morning walks at 7AM after crossfit training with Aaron. Singing songs while we walk.
8. Dinner dates with new Denver friends.
9. My upcoming camping trip this weekend, the "girls boys' weekend" where we plan to have an all girl trip with all boy plans, like beer and fire and football.
10. The chilly breeze that seems to be dancing through the trees with their newly colored leaves, as Autumn makes itself known!

The joy of the Lord is so magnificent! Anything making you terribly happy these days?!

Hallelujah

It is not enough to know God as a theory, or feel some fleeting moments of affection for Him. Our faith must be alive, and by its means lift ourselves beyond passing emotions to worship God in his Divine Perfection.

Crazy Hurts

I read a blog that was titled “crazy hurts." I don’t know if that’s supposed to be interpreted where crazy is the adjective and hurts is the noun, as in, “that was too many crazy hurts for one week” but I interpreted differently. I think crazy is the noun - as in “being 'crazy' hurts.”

Can you guys believe I just used those big grammar words like ‘adjective’? Take that Mrs. Copeland! (My 9th grade teacher made our entire grade take a grammar course because, apparently, I used, too many, commas, in my essays, and had no respect, for the, laws, of English. But, look at me, NOW! Proof, that Jesus, overcomes!)

Anyways, I felt a deep heart tie with this girl I had never met who wrote the crazy hurts blog and who apparently knows what its like to suffer from “wack-job-ism”. And can we all just agree - crazy does hurt, sister, it hurts bad! It will knock you over, kick you while you are down, and spit on your face. Being crazy is the worst. I should know.

Speaking of crazy: This week I have had very little sleep thanks to my blonde best waking me up at 5AM every morning to go to Crossfit (READ: Satan’s work out) with our personal trainer, Aaron. I love and I hate Aaron, both emotions simultaneously. Not only this but I keep pushing myself to do more, and stay up later, and never say no for reasons that I am embarrassed to tell you. (It reveals a level of girly giddiness that I don’t like to own up to.) So because I have been going ninety-to-nothing all week, I have come face to face with the mortifying fact that I am not as young as I once was. I cannot stay up all night long and wake up and run and be active, and go to work, and have a social life…and remain sane. It’s an either-or situation. Give or take. Get sleep – Retain Composure. Don’t sleep – Spiral into emotional instability and blackout rage over essentially nothing, add crying for no reason.

Anyways its times like this that I come to Jesus. I need Jesus because when I get to this point of exhaustion I start becoming this insecure “idiot baby”** and I cant pull my shiZ together. I start seeing everything and everyone in the world from an extremely worldly view and cant get out of my own head. Its times like this when I eat entire pints of ice cream. I need Jesus because whenever I don’t get sleep, my identity seems to get lost in a lot of things that aren’t Christ, making me feel unstable and capable of mass chaos. Its times like this where I start laughing at things that are not funny (and this is not cute, warm, fuzzy laughter, I am talking about manic laughter that makes those around me feel uncomfortable). Its times like these when I feel as if I am stumbling along groping for any landmark that will give me hope that I am still even on the path.

**”Idiot baby” is the newest word conglomeration by THE Lindsay Behnke. It’s the perfect mixture of words to get across the point that someone is being absurdly immature. We also use it in most any negative circumstance regardless if it relates or not.

So tonight I am skipping a camping trip, and instead I am spending time with Jesus, begging Him to re align my world, mind, thoughts, worth, identity (and anything else that has gone haywire this week) under His authority, and once again returning to my hiding spot under the grace and love of Christ.

Because when I am too tired, I become a Prodigal Pharisee, a self righteous rationalizer with an extreme capacity for rebellion and an intense desire to run away from all responsibility or obligation. And lets be honest, that’s a combination of the worst characters in the bible. But as it stands I am a repeat offender, a repeat confessor, and thankfully such a debtor to the grace that repeatedly sets me free.

And thankfully, God is good. He meets me here amidst my crazy. He meets with this exhausted wack job and makes me smile and cry the good tears, and gives me nights with no clouds and all stars. He meets me here with encouragement, and reminds me I am not alone. He quiets the fears that I am never going to get it right, and assures me that I have not missed some major memo on Christian sanctification that everyone else received. He meets me here when my ‘crazy’ is hurting and speaks worth into my soul. He meets me here as my Father, and He loves me and sits in my bed with me and sings over my sleep. He is God, and I am His. Tonight, I am resting in Him...and my crazy hurts a little less.

Sigh. Come Lord Jesus.

Hormonal

If you come here for the jokes, first I would say to you….ummm, SHALLOW. (#jesusjuke) And then I would ask you to affirm and validate that I am indeed, funny, because I am broken and still need that constant stream of affirmation. And then I would tell you that this particular blog is prolly not going to meet your expectations. And for that, I apologize.

Some days I hate being a girl. And I do mean HATE. I intended to use strong language there. Girls are ridiculous. I don’t know if its hormones or just an overwhelming amount of ridiculous emotions, or both…but I may or may not have multiple personality disorder, and I may or may not need to be admitted into some kind of rehabilitation facility.

Before you go and recommend specialists for me, let me explain.

I can go from mountain top happy to emotional basketcase in about, eh, 2 minutes. It’s a problem. I have no control whatsoever over my emotions, and it INFURIATES ME. I can consciously and rationally acknowledge that I am being such a stupid girl, but I still cannot get a grip around my fluttering heart and wandering mind. I know that this is a little vulnerable to be blabbing about over the WWW, but cut me some slack people: THIS is what my life has come to. Dagger.

So like I was saying. No control. I am going to protect myself a little and be a tad vague about the funny/crazy/stressful/vulnerable/amazing situation that I currently find myself in, but it has the potential to completely and radically impact and perhaps change my life. And God has asked that He be in control of said situation, which if you know me at all, is a huge struggle. I am a compulsive power tripper, and therefore I like the reigns of my life to be in my own hands. But ALAS! I am once again unable to save myself, and therefore in need of a Savior to surrender my plans/goals/control. So DAILY, and I do mean EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. on my way to work I pray out loud for the entirety of the 35 minute drive, that God would allow me and give me the grace to loosen my clinch and surrender my life once again, making everything I do submissive to Him.

So yes, I pray that prayer (a step in the right direction) but then, this is approximately how the remainder of my day goes: I give [said situation] to God, I take it back, and then give it up again, I pray and then call Briggs and have her affirm me, and then ask for prayer from my family and friends, and then try and numb myself out, pray again, and then give it up to God again, only to get stressed about it, and then really excited about the potential, and then really nervous about my inadequacy, and then overwhelmed at the grace of God, and then sometimes I get a glimpse of peace. Breath. Only to over think it and start biting my nails, and get emotionally unstable and pessimistic, pray again, then talk to my littlest sister to KNOCK some sense into my crazy, pray again, give up, and then hand it to God once again, throwing my hands in the air claiming His will be done and not my own. And then I get hungry...so I eat lunch. And so on.

See? RIDICULOUS. Absolutely ridiculous.

All this to say, 1. Obviously, I am a complete WACK JOB. and 2. How amazing is it that we serve a God who is stable!? A God who never changes, who is the same yesterday, today, and tomorrow. A God is ABLE and willing to take all of my insecurity, emotional instability, probable clinical insanity, and all plans that I have for my life and HANDLE IT! And even go farther as to love me through it!

AW Tozer says: “There is a better way which is to repudiate our own wisdom and take instead the infinite wisdom of God. Our insistence upon seeing ahead is natural enough, but it can be a real hindrance to our spiritual progress. God has charged Himself with full responsibility for our eternal happiness and stands ready to take over the MANAGEMENT OF OUR LIVES the moment we turn to Him in FAITH. God constantly encourages us to TRUST HIM in the dark. And with the goodness of God to desire our highest welfare, the wisdom of God to plan it, and the power of God to achieve it, WHAT COULD WE LACK? Surely we are the most favored of all creatures!”

So once again, I am admitting my blessed defeat and trusting in a God who is bigger and more amazing and more stable than anything that exists in my world. I am believing in faith that he “works all things out for the good of those who love him.” Today as I set my heart out to love Christ as hard as I know how to, I will attempt to rest in His arms, while putting my petty fleshly thoughts to death once again. I'm declaring that no matter if my life goes down in flames and if every plan I have fails, and if I never get married and all of the other crazy hormonal girly thoughts that I fight - that EVEN THEN, God is more than enough to satisfy the longing void in my broken heart! Oh praise Him! He is good, and so very worthy! And while I am standing on solid ground for this fleeting instant, I will blare this song on my headphones so that I might stay here on the rock a little while: “Remind me who I am” – by Jason Gray.

God help me. God love me.

Autumn Thoughts

There are a few things happening in the world around me that make me want to jump up and down and squeal like a little girl. In no particular order, these things include, but are not limited to the following:

1. The return of FOOTBALL SEASON! Finally. The sport to trump all other sports is back in action and I am going to enjoy every second of it. I might even attend a football game to watch a team I don’t have any connection with here in Colorado. Even better, I already have a trip planned to College Station to tailgate and love on my sister and WHOOP and wear maroon, and pretend that I am never going to grow up. Oh how excited I am!!
2. TEXAS reunion! As I said, I am planning a trip down deep in the heart of Texas and so many loved friends are going to meet me there. First and foremost, I am going to spend all day every day with my precious littlest sister who refuses to keep in touch with me, and her best buddies including the infamous Sydney Shrum. I am keeping my fingers crossed to see Rita and Lauren and praying that Megan can take a trip to watch the Baylor/A&M game. And if it’s not the icing on the cake, I am bringing Denver’s finest wing-man, Bethany Brueggen (Briggs) for her first ever trip to the Lone Star State. She has no idea what she’s in for.

3. PLANS PLANS and MORE PLANS! I have a lot of plans for the next 2 years of my life and I am so overwhelmingly excited about all of the things God is doing in and through me here in Denver. Briggs and I sat in a coffee shop yesterday for hours, sipping pumpkin spice and cinnamon dolce lattes, and mapped out ideas and plans and goals and man oh man am I excited!!! God is so much more creative than I ever could be, and I just marvel at what big ideas He has.

4. LOVE is in the air! Something about crisp mornings makes me want to fall in love. And therefore I am falling in love with as many things and as many people as I can on this adventure that God has blessed me with in Colorado. And it gives me butterflies.

5. Speaking of PUMPKIN SPICE. It’s OH SO GOOD. And I feel so very quaint while drinking it on a Sunday afternoon.6. BEEF’s BACHELORETTE PARTY. I spent last weekend in Galveston, Texas with Beef and Cara and the rest of Beef’s bridal shower and it was just the best. We laughed so hard and played all weekend and made some unforgettable memories. Frankly, it was really difficult for me to get back on the plane (as always) flying far away from my childhood buddies. There is something about being with people who have known you since you had braces, glasses, a slicked back pony tail with glitter eye shadow, and Doc Martins on your feet. If you can find people who will love you through that, you know you have made lifelong friends. I am so excited to stand up next to her on New Years’ Eve. You can watch the documentary here: Beef's Beach B'IA'CH party!

7. SEASONAL MUSIC. What? You don’t listen to music seasonally? You don’t think Fleet Foxes sound better in the autumn? You don’t think that Bon Iver needs to be played in cold weather? That’s all good and well, but I like my music to act as a soundtrack to my life, and Ray LaMontagne sounds better by a fire.

8. LEAVES! Colorful leaves anyone? Colorado aspens? It’s absolutely breathtaking.9. The return of K-LIFE! Kanakuk Denver ministry starts up again tonight! If only Blair Whitley were going to be there, it would be perfect!

10. BETSY,TRUDY, and KABE come to COLORADO! That’s right, my mom and aunt are facing their fear of riding on an airplane to fly all the way to Denver to spend the weekend with me! Kaleb is coming too, so as to complete the trio and we are going to spend the whole weekend laughing and I plan on convincing each of them why they should move to Colorado. I can’t wait for them to see where I have been living my life for the last year.


On the dreary contrary--I do have a few things to mourn over, and that is saying something given my almost constantly happy demeanor, as aforementioned. I sometimes sing while I walk, and I dance by myself pretty frequently. Life, in the overall sense, is absolutely fabulous in my world. With that being said, here are the things that are currently mortifying me:

1. The end of summer. Yes, autumn is my favorite of all seasons…(‘fall’ is so much less trendy than ‘autumn’), and yes the return of pumpkin spice lattes makes me giddy all over, but there is something about the passing of summer that sends a dagger straight through my heart. I am fighting it by staying up late (as if I had an actual summer with time off) and eating a lot of popsicles. I never want my weekends in the park to end.

2. The impending SECession of Texas A&M. The Aggies, my dear sweet alma mater, is about to give me a panic attack with their bright idea to SECede, therefore imploding the Big12 from within. Now, I love football season through and through, but I also highly value winning. And hopping into a pool with Alabama and Georgia and Florida seems to be heading in the opposite direction of victory. Why would we leave a conference that we can always claim at least one win over Baylor?! I live for that game, Texas A&M!! Why would you try and take that from me?! Why would you strip me of the glory of sending my tiny long lost friend Megan a snood text with GIG ‘EM AGS in all CAPS!? Oh you frustrate me so!

3. The departure of ALYSSA RAINBOLT. She’s gone. She packed her bags and she left. I am so excited for her World Race journey, but I am so devastated at the lack of her presence in my life over the next year. Dearest bolt, you are loved, missed, and drenched in prayer.

4. The coffee that tastes like TAR. My office has many good things to offer, however one of them is not the coffee. For some reason, the coffee in my office tastes like we blended up some asphalt and are consuming it in liquid form. I could really go for some Starbucks each morning, but seeing that Starbucks is $3 per cup and Office Coffee is $0 per cup….I will drink tar in the mornings. And distort my face a lot so as to show my extreme disapproval. I am hoping our Office Manager, Susan, will take note. I plan to make more extreme faces whenever she is looking.

5. The extreme lack of BECCA FEAGIN. Becks is traveling around the world loving people and learning lots…however, she has left me here without her. I am over it. As happy as I am for her, I am extremely ready for her trip back to the US of A in December. As a matter of fact, I am counting down the days.


Well that’s the update! Here’s to Autumn and here’s to life being so so very good! Oh praise Him who orchestrates so much joy in my life.