Get excited, Get Get Excited!

There are alot of really exciting things coming up in my life. Here are a few that I am particularly stoked about, in order of occurrence:

1. Megan comes to COLORADO! Yes people, you heard me right! Megan Templin is getting on a plane and flying to the Holy land to visit me in Denver! Becca was here not even a month ago and now Megan! I might be the luckiest girl in the world to have such faithful friends. Each of which have encouraged me through this journey that has been equipped with its major ups and downs. I am just so excited to hug her little neck and laugh until my stomach hurts. Kind of like the time when she pretended to be deaf in order to not have to move from her table at Panera. That's hilarious. So she will be here on SUNDAY, staying until the following SATURDAY and I just cannot wait! Come on weekend!

2. Ally takes a trip to TEXAS! Again, too excited for words!! Mommy decided that she missed her oldest and most outspoken child just a little too much and agreed to fund a visit home! I never thought I would say that I am homesick but the truth stands. I think it comes mostly from living at home (in one bedroom alongside Britt and Cars) during the month of June, and getting to spend all day every day with my favorite people in the world. Granted, I was bored out of my mind but its the little things that I miss. Like snapping beans with Mom and Trudy and then letting Grandmommy cook them. And cooking big dinners together (in the skillet with rules) and watching Friends and movies and getting snowcones. Not to mention I need more face time with my baby brother whom I ADORE. And if the whole thing isnt just perfect enough, the icing on the cake: Brittney is going to come home too! THE WHOLE CLAN in ONE PLACE! I could cry at how excited I am for Grandmommy's cooking and always a hug and for cuddling with Carson and laughing with Mom and Trudy. I board a plane out of Denver on August 26th, and will be back in Colorado late the night of the 30th. Counting down the days, and right now the countdown is at 16 days! YAY.

3. Weekend trips! Every weekend (aside from the one where I will be in Texas) YWAM provides an outdoor adventure to attend. Some of the exciting ones coming up are: hiking a 14er (I am going to die); visiting hanging lakes; cliff jumping; camping trips and thats just in the next month! The up side to this is that I never have to be bored: SUCCESS. The down side to this is that I am constantly exhausted! Its worth it, just gotta remember to hit the hay at like.....9PM.

4. MISSION OUTREACH! We leave in a mere 5.5 weeks to fly to Panama in Central America. We will be there for a while, and part of the time there we are spending living among the unreached TRIBES! They live on islands. How legit is this!? I cannot wait to apply all the things that I am learning during the lecture phase to real life. I cannot wait to play soccer with Panamanian kiddos! We have outreach prep meetings twice a week where we are learning dramas, skits, how to share testimonies, and dances (Yep I am a dancer). We also are learning all about Central American culture, food, government, religion, and LANGUAGE. Thanks Mr. Hoof for teaching me nothing past a list of school supplies in Spanish. We sing songs in Spanish, we play games in Spanish, we share about Jesus in Spanish. Its great. Well after we have lived with the tribes of Panama for a little over a month, we will be boarding a bus for 18 hours to COSTA RICA! In Costa Rica we are going to be working in the slums and also in the Red-light district! I am so excited. There will be plenty of kids to play with in San Jose, and I am looking forward to hugging each of their tiny necks and telling them and showing them how much Jesus LOVES them, just as they are! Anyways our outreach leader, Matt, is LEGIT. He's so great and SO adventurous so I feel like we arent going to be idle at all! I am praying that God shows up in miraculous ways while we are there, and praying that it will CHANGE my life.

5. What to do next?! Its interesting that I would put this in a list of things I am excited about. But although I have NO IDEA what my next step is, I know that God has a sovereign plan that is PERFCT for me! There are alot of fun options that I have looked into like snowboard instructing at Breckinridge or Vail. I really have no idea what I want to do. As far as the WHERE: I really LOVE Colorado. But life is about relationships--not places, and I really dont know where to put that in my head as far as how it applies to what I should do. I want to eventually be close to my family...I would prefer that THEY come to ME, but who knows. I know that there is always an opportunity to find NEW best friends (but keep the old) but right now it just seems like everyone that I really love is in Texas. And as far as WHAT I am supposed to do, that is a whole other story. I dont know what I want to do for the rest of my life. Here I am, 22 years old and still NO idea what I want to "be when I grow up". I know which passions God has placed in my heart, and I want to use those alongside the gifts He has blessed me with to further the Kingdom. What job title is that? No idea. So I am just praying that God makes it blatently obvious what my next step is. I'd love you to join me in that prayer.

Today I have mixed emotions. I miss home and community and friends. I long for (honestly) the holidays with my whole family at home eating mass amounts of Grandmommy food. And it being warm and snuggly and not really all that cold outside (its Texas....) I miss comfort. At the same time I take a step back and realize that I am doing EXACTLY what I want to do. Walking in obedience to Christ and trying to make sense of this crazy thing called life. I am happy. I am on a constant adventure, which is my dream. Its just a cluster of all these clashing emotiongs. I feel so lucky, and so surrounded by community and then at the same time I feel alone and very tired. My emotions are so inconsistant. Thank God I dont have to rely on them for truth. My truth would be a big catastrophe if that was the case.

Today I find myself saying Davids coined statement "Why so downcast, oh my soul!? Why so disturbed within me. Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise Him, my Savior and my God!" One of those times where I just need to get on my face and ask God to rule my mind in truth. I know there is a reason why I am here. He didnt bother assigning this adventure to a light-weight. By God, I am a fighter and I refuse to wallow in pity, because I know that when I cry out to Him some ten thousand angels join me in a chorus to worship our King.

So thats where I am at. Fighting my flesh with Spirit as usual. This day is not going to the enemy.