March (Birthday) Madness

Seems like March was the hot-spot for having awesome kids in 1988. Props to Cary, Suzanne, Billy, and Terr1For. Don’t know what it was about this month that deserved to birth such epic greatness, but ALAS, it did! Please pause from your busy schedules with me to take some time and recognize my beloved March heroes.

Hero #1: Cara Marie Rochelle: (AKA) Cacka / Momma Care
March 25, 1988On the 25th of this month, history was altered by the birth of CaraRO. How do I even begin to describe my longest friend I’ve ever had? I could start with her hair. She showers and it’s done. Fixed. Perfectly locked in tight brown beautiful curls. Or I could start with the fact that she is the most loyal friend of all. Loving me through all of the things that she probably (READ: absolutely) thinks I am ridiculous for. Or I could start with the fact that she says the funniest things….ever.

AND CUE NOSTALGIA.
Nostalgia: A wistful desire to return in thought or in fact to a former time in one's life, to one's home or homeland, or to one's family and friends; a sentimental yearning for the happiness of a former place or time.
Cara, I would give anything to wear Doc Martins and play wall ball on the playground today. Or attend PG Hawk Sports Camp together in Adidas slide on shoes and umbros. Or dress up for Halloween and go on a haybell ride behind the church. Or eat lunch at McAlister’s. Or go swimming at Northridge, while I beg you to play games even though you’d rather lay out. Or sit in your neon-colortastic room and talk about the things of life, love and cheerleading. Who knew life was so easy back then?! When your best friend was a bike ride away, or in my case…a trip in the back of Betsy’s firetruck red van.

Happy (late) birthday to one of my dearest friends (not to mention the friend I receive the best text message pictures from). I am perfectly wild about you, Cacka, and I think you are the greatest!! Would give anything to go rafting with you in the glacier runoff water in the Colorado June. (HINT: Plan a trip). And, of course: CONGRATS on making it to 24, you old maid! (Really loving being the youngest one for the first time since ever).


Hero #2: Britt(any) Forrester Earnest : (AKA) “Beef”
March 28, 1988There are a few definitive moments in my life that I remember very distinctly. One of which was St. Michaels Health and Fitness Camp in the 3rd grade. It was a day that we could never turn back from. It was a day that changed our lives for the better. And our names. It was the day that “BEEFO LATEX” originated. Eventually Beefo changed to Beef, and 15 years later…the name remains.

The name “Beef” fits my beloved “home best friend (HBF)” for so many reasons which include, but are not limited to, the following:
1. Beef is the tiniest, most absolutely stunning girl in America…and she owns that name like a boss.
2. “Beef” makes the best slogans at the Miss Teen Texas Pageant.

And most importantly:
3. Beef is directly synonymous with steak. Steak represents Beef. Beef represents steak. Why? Who the hell knows, or cares?! But the similarities are endless…(bear with me here).

Here are four similarities to consider*:
1. All good steak is from TEXAS. As is Beef…Texas born and bred.
2. Steak is juicy. Beef occasionally wears juicy couture velour sweat suits (with rhinestones).
3. Beef is a Longhorn, steak USED to be a Longhorn.
4. Steak is not for hippies or granolas. Beef is likewise not for hippies or granolas. (She puts up with me because she has to.)

Do you see what I mean? ENDLESS SYNONYMITY!!!

I digress.

Today marks the anniversary of another one of the definitive moments of my life that I do not remember distinctly, partly because I wasn’t alive. (INSERT: “I am younger than you” joke. Those start this year, and don’t end until we die. Just a heads up.) Today, YES TODAY, marks the birth of BEEF herself! The newly married and always beautiful “Britt” Forrester Earnest. She is 21 (+3) years old today!!! Clap, Shout, Sing!! Jump, Jump around! That’s 24 years of outshining the sun, people!

Beef has walked faithfully alongside me for 16 of those glorious years and I love her more today than I did when she showed up to Follies practice in the driveway with her newly acquired Haley Fomby haircut (a shoulder length bob curled under, with bangs.) I love her now even more than when we collected all of the things that were significant to our year-long new friendship, and floated them down the river (READ: sewage pipe) “message in a bottle” style. NOTE: We have still yet to recover the purple folder in the ziplock bag. I love her more than when we held fake pageants at her house, where everyone’s philanthropy was “picking up trash.” (Why?) And in a miracle of all miracles: she loves me despite the fact that I made her turn off all of the lights and stop the fan before waking up around noon after a sleepover, and despite the fact that I moved so very far away to Colorado.

AND because I am selfish as humanly possible, I will make a wish (on her birthday.) My wish is that I could be back in the Lone Star State, hugging her neck, bitching about getting old / having to function as adults in the real world (THE HORROR), and having a fruity drink and/or cupcake while laying around in our pajamas. I am crossing my fingers and clicking my heels that I somehow end up at her doorstep on my way home today.

So today, we celebrate the beginning of Beef’s 24th year of life. I cannot be more grateful to have another year to love my lifelong friend. Seriously, though, Beef - I think you get better every year. You are funnier and prettier and overall more awesome than the year before. I think you are the greatest and I am completely blessed by your life, your words, your fashion tips, your airport meltdowns, your telephone communication skills, and your friendship in general. God was really being a show-off with you. I hope your birthday is full of fun and absent of blind peds. Here’s to never EVER (really) growing up! I am absolutely mad about you.


You know, come to think...there is really just something about having friends who have seen you pre-Chi hair straightener. Pre-makeup (which still exists in my world). The friends who watched you cry over your boyfriend, who sat next to you at the lunch table, the friends who taught you what it means to be a friend in the first place.

I don’t know, maybe I feel this sentiment because both Cara and Beef have millions of pictures that they could blackmail me with. Or maybe it’s because they still know my home phone number by memory, or that I feel more like we are family than friends. Or maybe it’s just because I love them more than I know how to put into words. Whatever the case, I am thankful that these two were born. Its reason enough to celebrate.

Happiest Birthday, one more time, to my lifelong friends - Beefo Latex and Cacka Marie!!!! My partners in crime, my sisters. You guys are the BEST and I love you both like WOAH.



*All credit to Megan Templin for the Beef and Steak similarities.