"Come to Me"

"Weary, burdened wanderer
There is rest for thee
At the feet of Jesus,
In his love, so free

Listen to His message
Words of life, forever blest
Oh, thou heavy-laden
Come to me, come and rest

There is freedom, taste and see
Hear the call, come to me
Run into His arms of grace
Your burden carried, He will take

Bring Him all thy burdens
All thy guilt and sin
Mercy's door is open
Rise up, and enter in

There is freedom, taste and see
Hear the call, come to me
Run into His arms of grace
Your burden carried, He will take

Jesus, there is waiting
Paitently for thee
Hear Him, gently calling
Come all, come to me
Come oh, come to me
Wont you come?"
- "Come to Me" by The Village Church (feat. Lauren Chandler)

ITS 2013!  And today, Jesus bids us to come to him, on a day where so much newness gives us tiny glimpses of hope. Of something better, even if only for a minute. He bids us to join him on a journey towards being transformed by the renewal of our minds.  He bids us to focus our thoughts and life on Him.  He bids that we give ourselves fully to the adventure of increasing attentiveness of His presence.  This year. Today.

I usually stay away from New Years Resolutions because I am the person that gives up on Week 1.  And more than anything I hate disappointing myself.  Seems like the ultimate low to make lofty goals of grandeur and then fail miserably at them.  If I could sum up what I would ahem, resolute, this year..it would be that I in general "suck less." (as my friend Kallyn says.)  My flesh screams that I can fix the brokenness in me, the lonliness and the sin nature that keeps me running back to that which will not satisfy.  Suck less, Allyson.  Pull it together.  Eat healthy, work out, dont say cuss words.  Rules which I break as often as I keep. My feeble attempts at holiness and goodness fall so very short.

Instead of this game of pass and fail, my prayer this year, for 2013, is like that of Jesus.  I pray that I can run to God and not away from him even when I feel completely unworthy of him and essentially useless as a human being.   My prayer is that I would experience more of His holy presence and that in seeing more of Him, I would not think of myself as much but that I would have eyes to see and ears to see as He does.  That I would practice thinking more highly of God, that I would trust in his sovereignty and goodness and delight in his truth.

Anne Lamott says that "If I were going to begin practicing the presence of God for the first time today, it would help to begin by admitting the three most terrible truths of our existence: that we are so ruined, and so loved, and in charge of so little."

And she is right.  We are hopeless outside of Jesus, and this Jesus is unimaginably in love with us, wanting us, bidding us "Come."  So instead of me buckling down and trying to be all that I feel I am supposed to be, I pray "help." I have run out of good ideas on how to fix the unfixable, so I have decided to finally stop trying to heal my own sick stressed mind, with my own sick stressed mind.

These prayers remind me that I am not in charge, that I cannot fix anything, and that I open myself to being helped by something, or someone. These prayers acknowledge that I am clueless, but that God isn’t. It means I stop trying to figure it out, because trying to figure it out is exhausting and crazy-making.  

 

Lamott says "When we cry out for Help, or whisper it into our chests, we enter the paradox of not going limp and not feeling so hopeless that we can barely walk, and we release ourselves from the absolute craziness of trying to be our own—or other people’s—higher powers. We can be freed from a damaging insistence on forward thrust, from a commitment to running wildly down a convenient path that might actually be taking us deeper into the dark forest. Praying “help”means that we ask that something give us the courage to stop in our tracks, right where we are, and turn our fixation away from the Gordian knot of our problems. We stop the toxic peering and instead turn our eyes to something else."

 

So welcome 2013, may this year be one of prayer, steadfastness, trust, and and increasing knowledge of the glory of God.  May it be a year of love, adventure, hope, wellness, and peace.  May my eyes and focus always be set on who God is and not who I am.  May his glory result in my joy, and may I serve and honor him in a way that is worthy of who He is.  To him be the glory, here, and in the years to come forever and ever amen.