Valentines and Birthdays

Happy Valentine’s Day!!!!!!! But much more importantly:

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO LINDSAY KATHERINE BEHNKE!!!! (SHOUT OUT) Exclamation point! Cymbols! Applause! Our own personal little package sized Valentine turns TWENTY SIX today! A bit of background on Behnks includes but is not limited to the following facts:

She is cute and popular!
She is a real life sanguine!
She is from Jersey Shore! AND She is best friends with Snookie (speculation)!
She is a tea-aholic!
She cooks!
She cleans!
She bakes!
She cannot curl her hair! But she patented the baby powder & blow dryer trick!
She speaks Mandarin Chinese!
She shops at H-Mart and loves seaweed as a snack!
She loves snoozin’ and treats! Treats and snoozin’!
She’s a total babe!
She is quick witted!
She loves (Read: HATES) cats!
She skis!
She bikes!
She shoots hoops!
She loves Jesus!

To summarize: Lindsay is cooler than me. AND its her birthday. Not mine. I really like being her friend for times when I fall down the stairs and she tells me to suck it up and that “stairs are hard.” I usually do what she says with no questions asked. My mom, if she knew Lindsay, would probably ask me if I would jump off of a cliff if Lindsay did.

And I would look her squarely in the eye and say, “Yes, Mom. I would.”

Because guess what? If Behnke jumped off a cliff it would be because she had always wanted to travel to that exotic cliff in New Zealand or something. And she would have come equipped with a parachute or a bungee rope. And it would be an adventure and it would be awesome.

So let’s all give LindZ a virtual high five for making it to her 26th year without being severely disfigured due to being malled by tigers or falling down the stairs (AHEM). She made it to this glorious year, without any incurable diseases and without terrets. And that, my friends, is what you call a victory. Take a moment to do a silent fist pump in celebration of her life, and recent baptism (welcome to heaven). If you are a boy, do a chest bump in her honor. If you are a girl, squeal a little, shed a tear, and designate a facebook status or tweet to her right this minute.

LINDSAY: We all really like you a lot. And we all are really happy that you live with us in Denver and that you are 26. Happy Birthday once again, ‘ole tape pants. You are oh so very much loved, you cute and popular little skank. Let’s eat some rice krispie treats and pudding.

And to all the Valentines: All is fair in love and thumbwars.

And to all the singles: Eat some chocolate today….if you aren’t lactose intolerant. There's always next year. Unless of course the Mayans were right.