5 Things

5 Things that I like:
1 TiVo/DVR.
2 New car smell or even just a good car wash. (Not performed by me)
3 Avocados on my sandwich.
4 Having a job that I dont hate going to every day.
5 CHI hair straighteners.

5 Things that I don't like:
1 Waiting on or for anyone/anything for more than 10 seconds.
2 Gasping for air (I.E. running....or even brisk walking in this altitude).
3 The iphone & the fact that you cannot: 1. respond to a group text without sending a personalized text to everyone included in the original message, and 2. the fact that it does not recognize "hell" and changes it to "he'll" every. single. effing. time. Hell is real, IPHONE.
4 AT&T and its curse on Colorado phone service.
5 Traffic. In general. It never fails to grieve me and shock me that I am in standstill between the hours of 5-7 EVERY NIGHT....which usually leads to a long strand of curse words. Which then leads to a long conversation with the Lord Jesus Christ trying to explain why I have such a potty mouth/mind. I think he understands and may or may not be just as frustrated with traffic as I am. (I submit that it is part of the fall).

5 Things that make me laugh:
1 Megan's blocked group on facebook chat entitled "Chat Happy Morons". SO. TRUE.
2 Alicia potentially naming her first son Justin Beaver.

3 Youtube.

4 Texts from Cara Rochelle.

5 Home videos.

5 Things that make me cry:
1 That Mark Harris song, "Find your Wings".
2 Losing State Championships in High School Athletics, but you know, you cant win em all. I know that for a fact because I played freshman year basketball on a team that once lost 94-14.
3 Cats in costumes….makes me so furious that it brings tears.
4 The “Spirit of Aggieland” promo video that plays before football games. I usually wear sunglasses though to avoid embarrassment. OBVIOUSLY.

5 When I get overly frustrated, or over heated. SO basically any time that I try and run and realize I am slow and no longer athletic. *See also, #3 on things I don’t like. Needed to really drive this one home.

BONUS: Terrorism

5 People that I respect:
1 Ty Burris (Phil Dunphy).
2 Any Texas A&M graduate (WHOOP!).
3 The Mumford and Sons band members.
4 Anyone who maintains a constant work out schedule.
5 Lady Gaga................okay her stuff is catchy, get off my back.

5 People that I do not respect:
1 Barack Obama. Dont. Get. Me. Started.
2 Anyone affiliated with the television show "Jersey Shore"
3 My 8th grade health teacher. Who doubled as my Home Ec Teacher. First she made us sew. Second she did not allow chatter while we sewed (we made stuffed animals). No talking while sewing in 8^th grade?…..Satan’s daughter I tell you. *She also made me over-stuff the elephant that I sewed, promising me that it would get softer with time/wear/tear. Well the elephant is still hard as a damn rock, thanks but no thanks to Ms. Hargis. Not going to get any cuddling in with that piece of crap.
4 The guy in the red Honda Civic today on I-25 who was clearly PMS-ing....you know who you are.
5 Anyone wearing anything bedazzled.

5 Things that I enjoy doing:

1 Sitting at Coffee shops (not to exceed 3 hours).

2 Watching TV shows that include but are not limited to Modern Family, Criminal Minds, Gossip Girl, 90210, Greys Anatomy, House, The Bachelor, &The Office.

3 Wedding planning with Beef and living vicariously through her love life.

4 Outdoor activities when and ONLY IF the temperature is equal to or above 60 degrees Fahrenheit. Otherwise I deem it “cold as shiZ” outside and try and avoid all contact with the outdoors.

5 Using rap lyrics in every day conversation with Blair.

5 Things that I do not enjoy doing:

1 Dressing up or putting on make up…any time, any where.

2 Finding zits on my face…like I am a pubescent teenager or something. I am 22, when does it END?

3 Cleaning the bathroom, my car, my closet, my room, any room, dishes, laundry, etc.

4 Watching concerts on DVD. COP OUT.

5 Abstaining from artificial sweeteners. Splenda makes things better.

5 Things that I am excited about:

1 The apocalypse/return of JC Himself. *CUE bridge diagram. Thanks Joe White.

2 My littlest sister coming to stay with me for a week and me trying to get out of as much work as possible during the time that she is here. Also convincing her that Denver is the place 2 B.

3 Taking a hip hop class. Auditioning for Step Up 4.

4 Any and all upcoming trips to Target.

5 The weather in Denver staying in the positives for another week. If that is not proof that there is a God, then I don’t know what is.

5 Things that I am not excited about:

1 The day I decide that its absolutely necessary for me to start working out again on a regular basis. It’s coming. I fear that day. My knees do too.

2 The day it gets too hot to consume chai tea lattes. (Luckily Colorado supports my addiction for longer than Texas).

3 The Bachelor Finale. …Which means the season is over, and then my Mondays will be filled with emptiness instead of with knee slapping, tear filled laughter.

4 Another summer at Kanakuk that I will be unable to attend.

5 My alarm clock going off at an ungodly hour tomorrow morning.

Be cool, stay in school.

Becca & Other Things

Today feels like a good day to blog. And so today, I would like to take some time to honor another (best) friend, Becca Feagin (SHOUT OUT).

Becca probably thinks blogs are silly and will probably never read this SHOUT OUT. But I think she deserves her own post regardless. Touche, my tiny friend.

Becca rollerblades to the Sonic Drive-Thru and gets a large water, extra lemons, and Sweet N Low, which she learned from me. Until I learned that artificial sweeteners are going to kill me. Now I just go straight for the Cherry Limeade.

Becca is the most confident person I know. Rightfully so.

Becca wrote me the best email today in response to the tear-filled vent session I had with her. She told me a lot of things I didn’t want to hear. And she said those things very bluntly. I even cried when I read her email. She was so harsh. And so RIGHT. I hate it when Becca is right…which she often is. That’s okay though, because she hates when I am right too. Which is also often.

Becca is the only person who could turn my ‘off and on’ crying episodes today into laughter. She is the only person who understands when I am miserable.

Becca is the most driven person I know.

Becca is the most honest person I know.

Becca is the most genuine & authentic person I know.

Becca loves the Lord harder than anyone that I have ever met.

Becca is faithful to call me out on sin. She quotes Beth Moore to me, and I cant argue with Beth Moore.

Becca runs forever and doesn’t get tired.

Becca likes to dance. She has a signature move which I stole from her and now use at various dance parties.

Becca is funny. And fun.

Becca pisses me off and can make me madder than most anyone. It's because she knows me too well.

Becca is the most spontaneous person I know.

Becca is my best friend. The one friend I have who when she says “I understand” I know that she really does.

Anyways, thanks to you Becca for being “my person” when no one ever understands…which is constantly. Thanks for keeping it real. Thanks for trying not to complain at how cold you are all the time knowing that my response will be the same every time. Thanks for telling me to shut up when I need to shut up and calling me out on my (all the time) lies. Thanks for validating and affirming me but still speaking truth. Thanks for not ever comparing us in sports knowing that you'd win and I cant handle losing. Thanks for not being girly. Thanks for making me more spontaneous that I really am. Thanks for letting me spill my guts to you and loving me the same. Thanks for visiting me in Colorado and for supporting me when I want to move across the country. Thanks for making me feel like I am loved. Thanks for speaking truth into my life. Thanks for running so fast. Thanks for always rocking the side ponytail...even to church. Thanks for letting me rationalize everything, but not with the big things that actually matter. Thanks for your brutal honesty (too much sometimes). Thanks for destroying my journal if I die sometime in the next 20 years. Thanks for being my bffaeaeaea. Thanks for not abbreviating sentences when you are around me because I dont understand jokes like "yolo" and I have to ask others for clarification. Thanks for not liking my sister better than me. Thanks for wearing sweats so often and not forcing me to dress up EVER. Thanks for knowing all the words to most rap songs. Thanks for teaching me how to pop my jeans. Thanks for not attending career fairs. Thanks for sitting with me for the 15 minutes before oceanography every day last year. Thanks for letting me stay the night whenever I want....on the couch. Thanks for lying for me...and to me. Thanks for basically everything.

In all honestly, I am so blessed by you and so incredibly thankful for your role in my life. I would not be who I am or where I am without your amazing accountability. You taught me what it means to be a REAL friend. I can never express enough gratitude to the God who made you exactly as you are.

In other news:

The bachelor never fails to amaze me. Best quote from last week “We are losing the sun, but we are gaining the moon.” If that isn’t poetry, then I don’t know what is.

I love Justin Bieber. I don’t want him to ever hit puberty. NEVER SAY NEVER.

Griffin House is my newest music obsession. I like them alot.

I will not stop raging anytime soon about the dream that I had last night which almost sent me over the edge this morning. Thanks to Becca, Brittney, and Meg I am now not as close to the edge.

I miss my Texas friends ALOT, but not so much Texas.

I want to snowboard every weekend, all weekend for the rest of my life.

It is unhealthy how much I watch Criminal Minds. I love Shemar Moore. Blair thinks I am a sicko for loving a show about serial killers. I dont care what Blair thinks.

I need to give up Starbucks. I am struggling with co-dependency on chai tea lattes.

I need to form a co-dependency on working out. LONG SHOT.

WELP. Its time for Modern Family and MODFAM waits for no one. So I am off to spend time with Phil Dunphy, whom I am secretly madly in love with. Peace out girl scouts.

Outrageously Blessed

I cant remember the last time that I was consciously as content and happy as I am right now. The Lord has so extravagantly blessed my life that I don't even know how to respond outside of utter and breathtaking awe. Let me explain.

I moved to Colorado on my own, although I tried to convince many of my friends to come wih....no one accepted the invitation.

The Lord ALONE has provided, ordained, given me a full time job. I actually love my job. I never thought that I would say that I love a 9-5 job, but in all honesty, I love it. I like going, I love the work that I do, and I ABSOLUTELY LOVE the people that I work with. My boss is amazing and hangs out with me like I am a friend, and she is amazing. I am so excited to work underneath her direction. I honestly love what I am doing and it as close to a dream job as I could possibly get. I am genuinely happy at my job from 9-5 on weekdays.

The Lord has provided FRIENDS. I love my Denver friends, although they are much different than Texas friends. Nobody can replace Megan, Becca, and Rita, but Blair, Alex, Sydni, Claire and Lana do a great job of complementing them. I genuinely ADORE the people that I call my best friends. Blair is a College Station native living in Colorado and the Lord has been so sovereign in introducing that friendship. Something kind of like the provision I saw in my friendship with Savannah, except by the grace of GOD, Blair lives in the same town as me. Tonight we watched Modern Family and baked cookies. It was a blast.

I honestly cannot think of a time where I was consciously more happy than I am right now. I love my life. I love my friends, both old and new. I love talking to Becca on my way home from work, and having hour long catch up sessions with Megan. I love getting surprise packages with gifts that speak to my heart from Beef and Cara. I love planning the rest of our lives with my sister. Oh how true it is that the Lord gives and the Lord takes away, but in this season of giving....I am taking advantage of the near constant joy that I wake up to every morning.

I love my life. And I love the God that designed it.

Yoga

Being an athlete for however many odd years would make you believe that I like working out. And I do like working out but ONLY when the actual work out is over. That’s right…I like the way I feel after I work out, but getting to the gym and actually performing the work out may as well be the bane of my existence.

And also, right about the time when I have blocked out a time period to work out, is when my ever so clever brain tries to trick me out of going by using the tactic of distraction. Its only right around the time I am supposed to work out that I realize that the trunk of my car MUST BE CLEANED. PRONTO.

Anyways…some of my trendy friends have been getting into yoga. And its not that I have something against the idea of yoga, except that…well I do. There’s lots of different types of yoga, my least favorite of which called “hot yoga”, and you don’t even want to know what that shiz consists of. (Basically doing backbends in a sauna)…umm NO THANK YOU. Not to mention all the soft voices and meditation lingo that….at some level calms me, and at another level…infuriates me.

Anyways being on a healthy kick and living in the healthiest state in America has got me trying all sorts of new stuff, including yes, you guessed it….yoga.

The first problem that I have with it is that the instructor, lets call her….Helga, thinks that I have the ability to balance like a Asian karate enthusiast, and the truth of the matter is that, I have a real problem with balancing on one foot, wrapping my other foot into my pelvis and weaving my hands through each other while extending them over my back.

Helga’s notorious for getting herself into this position where she’s balancing on her tailbone… I cuss at her when she does it which is awkward thanks to the no talking phenomena, and try and try again, but my body physically cannot do this position. Maybe my tailbone was not created to be balanced on, HUH HELGA!? She tells me it’s ok if I can’t do it and I think, damn straight it’s ok, this is not a position for humans to be in.

I seem to be the only participant who knows that she’s only smiling so she won’t cry because it hurts so bad. She also has been known to let go of her legs and put her arms straight up in the air while her legs are still in the air… even more impossible.

Anyways, to conclude, I think that yoga is un-American. That crap needs to be contained in China or wherever it originated. Brian Regan agrees:

I also really appreciated this: http://www.serradinho.com/Blog/funny-yoga-for-drunks.htm

I gotta get some sleep, I have a yoga class tomorrow morning.....NAMASTE.

Epic Reality TV

I have to get some tension out via web blog. This tension comes in the form of reality tv, more specifically…the bachelor, season 38, or whatever.

(NOTE: I vowed after my senior year to never watch this crap television show again, and I would just like to apologize for breaking that promise because I had popcorn, ice cream, and a snuggie as I posted up on the couch with my Denver buddies. I would also like to add that we could broadcast our commentary because it was epic and I almost peed my pants.)

OK. Deep breath. Oh my gosh. How did this show get created? A show where 25 girls desperately throw themselves at a 38year old guy with serious commitment problems and and unhealthy relationship with his therapist. (NOTE: we are unsure of his actual qualifications as a therapist…he may or may not be a collegiate frat brother.) And how did all of the girls actually ON the show miss that notification that he does, in fact, get to date 25 girls. You were right, Chris Harrison….emotions ARE running high.

A few things:

1.) Who let Michelle on this show? It’s very clear that her only role is for ratings, because this girl is bat shiz crazy. Side note: You beat yourself up in your sleep? Yeah, I am not buying it. What really went down behind the scenes?

2.) Why does ABC keep throwing curve balls at poor Emily, (the blonde Barbie doll that he clearly likes more than the others…hence the picnic pre-rose-ceremony)? IE. Sticking her in a plane/racecar (next week) after her husband the racecar driver died in a plane crash. Low blow, ABC, low blow.

3.) “I just have to follow my heart.” …..PROFOUD, Chantal O. (as if there are any other Chantal’s?) And can we just discuss the fact that Brad is looking for someone who he can really be himself around…..UM is that not what everyone wants? Can you be more specific?

4.) The skinny girl in the blue and white bathing suit...WHAT. IS. HER. NAME? I swear to you even the Bachelor himself couldn’t answer that question since he called her “you” about 47 times before someone hit him with a cue card reading “her name is ‘Britt’”. I was hoping he would just start throwing names out, letting her playfully correct him. But this is reality TV and that doesn’t go down. Needless to say, she got a rose because he wants to jump her bones.

5.) Ashley with the country accent very closely resembles that girl in high school that EVERYONE hated because she tried WAY too hard. I especially enjoyed the part when she ruined Alli’s one on one time and then asked her for a “hug” to smooth it over. Clearly that did not work, welcome to girl code 101. But good try Ashley. And sadly enough she was still at least top 5 on my list of acceptable show winners until she did the puppy dog impersonation and whined about whether there was still a connection. Buzz kill and major turn off.

6.) “You make me feel like this is something that could happen in REAL life.” –Brad the Bachelor. Really? Really Brad? You’re date was taking a helicopter ride and walking on the bottom of the ocean only to have a bedside brawl on the beach with one of the 10 women that you are dating. I have a hard time believing that this date with millions of cameras in your face resembles anything close to real life. Either that or we define reality in different terms.

7.) Who drugged the dentist? Chick has lost her mind. Even Brad asks “What ARE YOU DOING?” And she openly admits ruining her chances because of her emotional instability and with that I would have to agree. You cant be a basket case at this point in the game. Pull it together Ashley and LOSE THE RUFFLES.

8.) HOW many times do Michelle (what is she wearing?) and Bachelor need to discuss the fact that they DID, indeed, repel off of a steel building? That was 8 hours ago. Move past that conversation, and preferably not to a conversation about your daughter because YES it would be detrimental to her childhood to introduce her to the man you are simultaneously dating alongside a baker’s dozen other girls. Not like the kid stands a chance anyways with those genetics, SHEESH. The fact that she gets a rose makes me realize that I have zero compatibility with Brad Womack.

9.) Girl with the messy hair……do you realize that you are on National Television? Brush. Your. Hair. And this coming from someone who showers once a week.

10.) Girl in the brown/black (?) dress who has never been featured on the show previous to this week……YOUR DRESS IS TOO SMALL. Where are her friends when she needs them to help dress her for the MOST DRAMATIC ROSE CEREMONY EVER?? And my fellow commentators and I referred to her as the “leaner” because her boobs were clearly weighing her down, making her top-heavy and causing her to lean forward more than what is considered acceptable.

PS. I miss the vampire.

Oh my gosh this crap is too good. It served as my ab workout yesterday. And I am well on my way to a six-pack, people. It’s a little sad that this is what my Monday nights consist of but its just TOO ENTERTAINING to miss. Trashy reality TV, I am obviously not above it.

SIDE NOTE: If I ever sign myself up to be on a reality tv show, if I am ever THAT desperate to find prince charming and TRU LUV then someone please handcuff me to my couch and get me a Russian mail order husband or something. Nothing could be worse than going on this show.

Thanks and GIG EM BACHELOR. Please God, say he picks Emily

We No Speak Americano

Okay, you have got to be freaking kidding me here........

Yeah I have no other words.

No Strings Attached

So last night I went to dinner and a movie with my frans from Colorado. The dinner was good, and the movie was “No Strings Attached”. The script reads something like Natalie Portman and Ashton Kutcher trying to keep a relationship purely physical, and not get any more serious than that. Hence the title.

I am not going to lie, I am always up for a cheesy chick flick. Guilty pleasure? I am fairly positive that its not something I really want to boast about that I can completely zone out, letting my mind drift into the lives of the easy to love characters in films such as this. Especially romantic comedies. However, I usually snap back into reality, writing off every chick flick I see as unrealistic and promptly move on with my life.

However on this go around, the story about a girl who has commitment issues and freaks out, taking immediate and hasty drinks from a milkshake any time the conversation goes past hobbies or favorite restaurants and the guys begins a DTR was a little close to home. Dagger. (minus the sex part….)

I would probably openly admit that I have commitment issues in relationships, but I like to think that its just because I haven’t met Mr. Right if you know what I’m saying. Although I will boldly proclaim that my issues are minor compared to Natalie Portman’s character in the story. Regardless, I’m not lying when I say that I sighed a sigh of relief when (SPOILER ALERT) the commitment issues girl finally does fall in love and they “live happily ever after”. A little hard to relate with, since its Ashton Kutcher who is pursuing her. But that’s neither here nor there, and I’m happy to report that even Cinemark thinks there is hope for me (and any other relationally challenged people) still.