Winter, the Flu, and Music

First of all. Its officially winter. Winter is my 4th favorite season, as far as weather goes. The foot of snow that we so graciously received last week put an end to the lives of the vibrant leaves. Blessed, wonderful, magical October autumn is over. Cold, hard, lifeless winter is here, bringing with it flu season, icy roads, and shorter days. It’s miserable I tell you, and I have the immune system of an AIDS patient. I had to invest in a humidifier. Rough life. On the bright side, God had mercy on those of us living in the US of A, by strategically placing all of the best holidays in the winter season. (EXCEPT the 4th of July, which is obviously my favorite.) Christmas, Thanksgiving, New Years Eve—those all make the top 5 holiday list. Anyways I am trying to get on board with Christmas season excitement – and Justin Bieber’s new Christmas CD won’t make it hard, but I do mourn the loss of those brilliant leaves.

In other news, it is time to start creating my seasonal playlist. And the winter one is always so easy to construct. The only promise I can make is that Bon Iver will be featured multiple times. I’ve said it before on this blog, and I will say it again. Good music is the absolute core of my existence. It, for me, is blatant proof of a divine creator God.

In fact, if I could write songs that didn’t suck, I would be a songwriter for the rest of my life. And I would be musically inclined to play music on a guitar, piano, or hell--a violin. There is something about good lyrics that send me into another realm, a place where wanderers can gather and find that they are not alone in this life. Something about putting music to words makes me believe that others can understand the voice of my heart a little more clearly.

Music usually picks me up from my desk at work and takes me to some alternate reality. It flows through my body like a warm cup of hot cocoa on a cold day (like today…when snow is in the forecast YET AGAIN). Most of the time, it carries me to a simpler time from my past that was likely not as simple as I remember it seeing that I am a chronic over-sensationalizer when it comes to the past. For examples:

“Yellow” by Coldplay takes me back to Andrew - my high school boyfriend’s - game room, with all of my freshman friends as we sat around in our homecoming dresses with flaming ice cream and listened to Andrew’s brother’s band play the song “Yellow” over and over again. It was their one hit (remake) wonder. I was wearing a maroon dress with beads at the top, and I was nervous about tripping all night long. But I was head over heels in love with the gangly boy with shaggy brown hair who was leaning against the wall, and he just so happened to be my date. I laughed at everything he said and even stayed late to hear the band play Coldplay one last time.

“Ache” by James Carrington takes me back to my bunk bed during work-week at Kanakuk in 2007. I was skipping my work duties and was sprawled on that tiny bed crying my eyes out blaring the lyrics to “Ache” as my heart was breaking in two. It was an excruciating time for me and somehow, James Carrington was the only person who really understood.

“Revelry” by Kings of Leon takes me back to Austin City Limits in 2009 when I was as happy as I can ever remember being. I had Savannah and Beef on either side of me and we danced in the rain as the music played on Friday night at ACL.

“Good Life” by One Republic puts me back on the roads between College Station and Austin, Texas for many, many road trips. It seats me back in my unreliable black xTerra, with ripped interiors, the windows down and my sister in the passenger seat. And it makes me feel free.

“Ants Marching” by Dave Matthews Band takes me to a boat in the middle of Caddo lake, dancing and singing the lyrics as hard as I could with my high school friends, the summer after college ended. It takes me back to a fake microphone and Coors Light. It makes me smile and reminds me that good can be found in any situation. And that you’re always 17 in your hometown (God forgive me for using the lyrics to a country song to make my case and point)

“The Cave” by Mumford and Sons takes me back to the magical fairy tale of a drive from Telluride back to Denver, an hour of complete silence next to my new friend Bethany.

“How Bizarre” by OMC takes me back to High School when Emily Middleton and I snuck out of Ali Burrow’s house to go back to see our Homecoming dates at 2AM. We left the door open hoping to not set off the alarm, and crept out the front door to make our way back to Sean’s house to sit around the fire. Brent and Jason were happy to see us and we lived up the night before we got back to find that we had not succeeded in “sneaking” out.

“Colorblind” by Counting Crows takes me back to the rickety yellow bus after a basketball game at age 14. Sitting next to Leah Camp and looking out the window at the lights as they passed. I didn’t have a deep thought in my head, but I still appreciated the slow melodious music that permeated the air after a freshman year Varsity victory.

“Fast Cars and Freedom” by Rascal Flats puts me back in a black Mazda Tribute in the parking lot of Pleasant Grove High School at 7AM, as the “fab five” arrived early to get our parking passes for senior year. We wanted to make sure that we got the front row, and since the assigned parking was first come first serve, we had a big sleepover the night before and arrived before everyone else just to find that the Jamie Curtis and the theatre department had somehow gotten special rights to the first few spots. We blared country music as loud as we could before those doors opened one last time for schedule pick up.

“Brooklyn Blurs” by The Paper Raincoat takes me back to morning boot camp at 6AM, driving to the Texas A&M Rec Center to hangout with a theta buddy and do endless amounts of hills up and down the ramp under Wellborn. It calmed me down as I was usually late, and in a panic to eat my breakfast while driving and putting on my shoes simultaneously.

“You and I” by Ingrid Michaelson and “House of God Forever” by Jon Foreman both take me right back to the same place, crammed into a tiny house in Costa Rica as we waited for the dinner crew to finish our evening meal. 10 YWAMers and I sat around playing cards every night and listened to Ingrid and Jon every single night, and pretended to be a big family.

“Collie Man” by Slightly Stoopid takes me back to the West Campus Parking Garage as me and Becca and Grubb strapped rollerblades to our feet and rollerbladed down the ramps of the garage and screamed because its exceedingly hard to turn on rollerblades when you get to the bottom of a ramp going at such high speeds.

“Cropduster” by Pearl Jam just makes me want to kiss my boyfriend at age 16. Let's leave it at that.

“Meteor Shower” by Owl City takes me back to Passion 2010, another one of the best weekends of my life. Savannah, Megan, Brittney, and I crammed ourselves into a white astro van with FBC Texarkana to drive 12 hours through the night to Atlanta, Georgia to hear Beth Moore, John Piper, Chris Tomlin, and David Crowder put on a Christian Conference for about 40,000 young people. It was one of my favorite memories, to date. I laughed so hard and learned so much.

“California” by Phantom Planet will forever remind me of one of the greatest TV shows of all time—The O.C. and watching it with my littlest sister all summer long. It was the means by which we became such close friends after years of me being a punk to her. That show also persuaded me to pursue Architecture at Texas A&M and I will forever hate Kirsten Cohen for being my role model into a world of death.

I could think of about 400 more songs that are equally as important, but with the cold came the flu symptoms and therefore I am going to make a grand exit from work a couple hours early. Go listen to some winter music and drink hot drinks (lattes) out of trendy coffee cups, grab your snuggie and put on your fuzziest socks. I recommend watching “The Holiday” while you’re at it. That’s what I’ll be doing tonight as those little white flurries of death begin to fall.

Here is to making the best of the winter season!

Contradictions

God bless Texas. This weekend was one for the books as about 4 of my worlds collided in College Station, Texas. Sweet Home College Station. All crammed around a table at blue baker was my littlest sister and co-bro Kabe, my long lost best friend from Kanakuk and frister Megan Templin, precious and dearly loved Rita O’Connor (the prettiest girl you will ever see in real life), the funniest girl in the world and frister, @SydneyShrum, and finally my Denver based blonde best Bethany Brueggen. My heart was so overwhelmed with love that I could hardly stand it.

Have I told yall how much I love my littlest sister? Seriously, Brittney is the most amazing person that I know. We work like puzzle pieces. I mean honestly, I am going to call 60 minutes and have them do a special on us for being the first siemese twins to not be born attached...or born the same year. We are going to be so rich. And she has awesome friends who will let an old timer like me hangout with them on the weekends.

This weekend was the best weekend ever for multiple reasons that include but are not limited to the following list:

• Most of my favorite people were all in one place. (*However, it felt wrong to be in College Station without Becca Feagin and Lauren Wood)
• I spent the weekend enjoying WARM Texas weather!
• The Texas Rangers are going to the World Series again! YAHOO!
• The fightin’ Texas Aggies showed up on Saturday for the second half (finally) and BTHO Baylor!
• I attended an collegiate football game and tailgated afterwards, so it finally REALLY feels like football season. (I am weary of this ‘I don’t care about football’ Colorado attitude)
• I ate at Blue Baker. Twice.

Being in Texas always ignites some intense nostalgia in me. It is a very weird feeling to ‘go home’ to Texas, and then ‘come home’ to Denver. Both feel like home in some ways, but each is so very different. I love both places tremendously, and am not sure where in my head to store these contradicting emotions. I love being able to confidently put to words what I am feeling, what I am thinking. But alas, I am at a loss for words. There is no amount of letters strung together that could explain the condition of my heart when it comes to the war of Texas versus Colorado.

I love Texas. I love Colorado. I laugh in Texas. I love well in Colorado. I love the heat and sunshine. I love the snow and mountains. I have friends who love me well in Texas. I have friends who love me well in Colorado. Texas is comfortable. Colorado is new and exciting. Texas is home. Colorado is an adventure. I am prideful about being from Texas. I am prideful about living in Colorado. Texas boasts lakes, wakeboarding and familiarity. Colorado boasts mountains, snowboarding and crisp October air. Texas’ environment is welcoming and comfortable. Colorado’s environment is interesting and fascinating. And amidst the confusion of where my heart lies, I have to simply accept that it can lie in both places. I love Texas and I love Colorado.

However, for this time, for this fleeting instant that God has given me, I have an overwhelming sense of peace that I am where I am supposed to be. I know that God called me specifically to Denver, and that he has provided in ways that only could have come from His creative hand. I know that I am a better person since I have moved to Colorado, and that being removed from my comfort zone has pushed me to grow up, mature, and press into the Lord that called me to adventure. I trust that God is doing something in and through me while I reside in this mountainous wonderland that hosts the most beautiful Octobers. And while I cried my eyes out yesterday as I hugged the necks of my comfortable better than best friends and family, I know that they support the fact that I am living a life surrendered to a God that called me far away from them.

As we drove in opposite directions with tears streaming down our faces, Rita sent me a text saying that “we are the lucky ones…so thankful the Lord has allowed us to belong to such an incredible group of friends.” And she is so profoundly right. My heart wouldn’t feel as if it was being ripped from my chest at the Houston airport if it wasn’t for the fact that I love my friends hard. And because they love me back, regardless of the fact that most of them have seen me at my worst. I am convinced that I have the best friends in the world. And like Beef says, “you can always come home.” I am so overwhelmed with love for the people that God has placed in my life to love me well, to partner with me in this life. I so appreciate the girls who are willing to love me well from a distance when I board an airplane back to my dream life. And on top of that, I am thankful for the girl who sat next to me on the plane back to Colorado, comforted me and loves me like Christ does while here in Denver. Oh God, you are too gracious to this unworthy soul.

So I am happy to be back in Colorado. And I still miss Texas. I am choosing today to rest in the plan that God has sovereignty put in motion for me, and trusting Him to accomplish His will in my life. By His mercy and grace alone. Come, Lord Jesus.

A Musical Treat

Well if this isnt the greatest Autumn treat of all time!!! Sara Bareilles and Mumford and Sons wrapped into a musical treat that is good for your soul. Maybe I will watch it again for the 47th time today and pretend that I can dress cute and sing like Sara.

Click here over and over again:
Sara Bareilles covers Mumford and Sons "Little Lion Man"

I do not know what could make your (TGI)Friday any greater than these two artists coming together for the music phenomenon of the century! But I do know what could make mine the mecca of all Fridays: seeing my little baby sister and my sassy baby frister in a mere 10 HOURS!! I am so thankful for today, for airplanes, for sisters and fristers, for music, for carry on luggage, for sunshine, for AUTUMN, for Jesus, and for (God Bless)Texas.

Come quickly, 3:30PM, come quickly!

October, Y'all!!

OCTOBER has finally arrived y’all!! FINALLY! And it brought with it, very colorful leaves, and very crisp autumn air that makes me so giddy, I might explode with joy. I know I’ve told you before, but to reiterate - I love October, and it is my favorite month of the year for many, many reasons. I hope to get married in this month, and have a child with an October birthday, and I plan to take various trips to the mountains during this month, and play-like it will never ever be November. Not to mention EMILY MIDDLETON, my High School bff was born on the 7th of this blessed month! (SHOUT OUT) Happy Birthday Em!!

Anyways to kick off October the right way, me and 5 of the coolest girls I know took a trip to the beautiful Nederland to camp one last time before the cold air ends
the camping season. We dubbed the weekend a “(girls’) boys weekend” where we camped with all girls, but did all boy activities. We threw rocks, and roasted Bratwursts, and built a fire, and drank beer. No one was allowed to wear make-up or cute clothes or talk about feelings/emotions. We discussed only football and we all wore baseball caps. We did however make an exception to do a photo shoot. It was so fun being boys all weekend, and we did laugh a whole lot more than I assume guys laugh on all boys trips. We even created a hammock bunk bed...see below.



The second weekend of October, my family (mom and aunt and cousin Kabe) came to Colorado. It was so fun to show them around what has been my home for the last year. They had a blast, and I think I successfully convinced each of them that living in Colorado trumps living in Texas. (In SOME, but not ALL aspects…I am still primarily a TEXAN at heart). The weekend would have been perfect if my littlest sister and my two baby broskies were here too. I missed them even more than usual. To make myself feel better, we bought "I Moose Have A Hug" moo moos for Bethany, Brit and I.

Anyways I drove my little family all over this dadgum state, trekking to the mountains in a blizzard, and then back to Denver, and then to Estes Park for a Rocky Mountain National Park adventure. We walked the streets of every hot spot in this state, by God! I loved having them, and it was rather sad to put them back on a plane to return to their desert exiled land with temperatures reaching 100 degrees. IN OCTOBER, Y’ALL!! Blasphemy.



The third weekend of October, (commencing in 1.5 days), I will board a plane with my Denver blonde best to fly across the country to land in College Station, TX to see my littlest sister and company. We are going to tailgate and watch football and wear maroon and cheer for the Aggies relentlessly and Brit and I are going to pretend that we still live on the second floor of a precious 3 story townhome at River Oaks. One thing I have learned about Colorado is that these hippies do not have a proper respect for the game of football. There are no businesses that are closed down on game day, and few people even know when game day is. It’s ridiculous, I tell you! So I am ready to be in God’s country, where football dominates your weekend plans, and tailgating is a way of life.

And while we are at it, SO HELP ME GOD if we lose to Baylor I will scream…for 3 distinct reasons: 1) Because it’s embarrassing to lose to every Big 12 team during this season when we have decided to move to the SEC, where we are at an extreme disadvantage. 2) Because I h ate losing in general, and 3) Because my cute little BFF Megan turns into a crazed psycho when Baylor beats A&M, and since I will be hugging her neck on Sunday, I cannot handle the ridicule that I will receive from my tiny friend in the case of an Aggie loss. But ALAS, choking has been the going theme of the 2011 Texas A&M football season.

And for the final weekend of October, I do not have plans except that I will be carving a pumpkin and eating a pumpkin pie and drinking a pumpkin spice latte, and brainstorming my Halloween costume. Not that anything could ever top Brittney’s and my PB&J costume. That was sort of the epic costume of the century.

Throughout the past few weeks, I have really been experiencing the joy of the Lord in a way that I do not have words for. I love the smell of fire and fall that permeates the crisp air every night. I go on long walks at dusk and I might have even danced a little around the Wash Park trail just to find a couple walking behind me. Oops.

And maybe it’s because I long to be outside every waking hour of the day that writing has been such a struggle for me. Or maybe it’s because I can’t think of the words to put into ink. Or maybe it’s an attack from the enemy, but I have had the toughest time sitting down to write. Something that usually seems as natural as breathing has been much more laborious for the past few weeks. Maybe it’s because I feel a call to write, and satan (with a little ‘s’ because that’s the middle finger of grammar) never attacks things that are insignificant to the kingdom. He never attacks my break dance ministry or my air guitar worship band because I suck at those things. But writing? ALL. DAY. LONG. With the precision of a laser pointer on a sniper rifle, and the fury of a child destroying a piñata. I think it’s because it’s the thing God has given me. It’s the thing that God can specifically use in me to glorify Himself.

So today I am sitting down to write another chapter of my future (imaginary right now) book, and where I see satan’s attack, I raise him the Holy Spirit. And Ben Rector in my headphones. And the Holy Spirit + Ben Rector is a dynamic duo that cannot be beat. Happy October, friends!!!